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Holding my breath...

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Old 04-11-2009, 11:31 PM   #1
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Angry Holding my breath...

So after a lifetime of problems, health issues that were only taken care of at extreme moments (i.e. when something random and crazy happened and I ended up in the hospital due to a strange, random infection), depression, and weight gain/battling.... I'm finally trying to do something about it.

5 days ago I got an entire body blood & urine test done at my new doctor's office... I should be getting the results in a few days they said.

It took me 2 months to save up the $300 for it (gotta love lack of insurance)... and the whole time I did nothing but research online all my symptoms and problems and you know what? I think I'm about to go crazy. And these last few days are killing me even more.... so many possibilities are going through my mind... what I could have, what I might NOT have.... and what *almost* seems worse.... that there's actually nothing really wrong with me and I'm just fat and can't do anything about it.

But I seriously doubt that. With a family history rife with diabetes, thyroid, and other problems.... *sigh* I just highly doubt it. I've tried so hard the past year or two to change to my life... I work out at LEAST 3 days a week, sometimes more (I also take care of my family and work 60+ hours a week, it's hard sometimes)... have definitely made a step towards eating healthier... and still.... it's like next to impossible to lose weight or keep off what I have lost! It's so frustrating.... it's such an uphill battle! Ridiculously so!

And my health and energy and everything just keeps on deteriorating with time... which just seems insane to me because I've made so many steps towards being healthier, including quitting drinking & partying, eating healthier, being so much more active.....

I just don't know. I'm so frustrated I could cry... and have when I've gone over the list of things that could be wrong with me.... and from what I've read and researched... it could be anything from thyroid to PCOS to IR to vitamin deficiencies (my doctor was really pushing this on me on my first visit to her, before the bloodwork was done - personally, I think that that's a given but I doubt that that's the end of it)...... and I feel like I'm going crazy waiting!!

God grant me the strength to get through this.... and hopefully beat whatever it is. And above all... I just finally want some answers why I've suffered with all the problems I've had my whole life.

~*Amanda*~
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Old 04-11-2009, 11:48 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by starfishkitty View Post
I work out at LEAST 3 days a week, sometimes more (I also take care of my family and work 60+ hours a week, it's hard sometimes)... have definitely made a step towards eating healthier... and still.... it's like next to impossible to lose weight or keep off what I have lost! It's so frustrating.... it's such an uphill battle! Ridiculously so!
It's always so hard to give the right advice based on a post, so take it or leave it! But ... SO many people find that:

"I work out at LEAST 3 days a week, sometimes more " and
"have definitely made a step towards eating healthier"

... just aren't enough to do the trick. Sometimes it is, but very often it takes a more consistent and deeper approach. Doesn't make it fair. Doesn't mean eating better and exercising more (and perhaps better) are worth it to you. But sometimes smaller changes only get you so far.

I do hope all is well with your health check up!
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Old 04-11-2009, 11:50 PM   #3
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What symptoms are you having (if you want to share).Take a deep breath.Listen to me, I will tell you that what you are thinking you have is probably far worse than what it truly is.I am also very guilty of doing this to myself.You have made significant positive changes to improve your health.Wait for the tests to come back before you get too upset.Stress can also make you physically ill.Dont do that to yourself.Hugs!!!
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Old 04-12-2009, 11:38 AM   #4
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If I could, I would absolutely love to go to the gym 6 to 7 days a week. When I can, I do. And I don't do pansy workouts... I'm up to 70 minutes of cardio (35 elipitcal, 20 bike, 15 stepper) and 2 days a week of basic weights. Unfortunately, due to the the lack of responsibility from my parents, I currently have my grandmother with beginning dementia and my 18 year old brother who is just trying to graduate living with me. Add onto that 55+ or more hours at work to keep everything up and running financially... *shakes head* I'm exhausted. Mentally, and physically.

I've always had asthma (though its pretty much gone now that I work out) and struggled with it a lot as a child. The steroids and other crap they put me on weren't fun either. Then, when I was a teenager, I got a piercing that became infected and nearly killed me. I was in the hospital for 3 weeks and had home care, a home nurse for over a month, and IV antibiotics for two months. That's when I ballooned horribly for the first time, topping the scale at probably nearly 260, though that went down about 10lbs quickly. A few years later found me in New Orleans with a drug habit, incredibly skinny from said drug habit, and then I got another random infection. I had a throat surgery to save my life, spent weeks in the hospital and then in the following year gained back the 60 I'd lost plus another 35. Leaving me at like 255.

About 2 1/2 years ago, I began the journey of trying to change my life and turn things around... since then, I've lost about 20lbs, changed my eating habits for the better where I could and began exercising at least 3 times a week. For the first year and a half, things were so up in the air in my life there were periods of a few months where I'd have to quit going until I got settled again, then I'd start back up. Now I'm finally stable, but now my days are filled with trying to get some sleep, taking care of my family, and my nights are filled with working 12 to 13 hour shifts.


On top of always having random infections somehow laying me low, after sitting down about 2 months ago and writing down things I felt were wrong with me, I came up with this list:

- Terrible bone & body aches (sometimes much worse than other times, this started after my first surgery)
- Fatigue (I never feel like I can get enough sleep, no matter how long I've slept)
- Low body temperature (usually about 98.2, but sometimes it goes all the way down to 97.2... and it's been that way since I was young)
- Bowel problems (gas, constipation, cramping)
- Heart palpitations
- Random nausea
- Brittle nails
- Headaches
- Insomnia
- Dry brittle hair, even starting to thin near my temples despite always having an incredible amount of hair
- Dry skin, excema
- Cold hands and feet
- Depression (was treated for this a few years back, but the meds made me feel like a zombie... it's always been a battle of mine)

And I probably could go on. *sigh*

Thanks for the words of advice and support though guys.... I really appreciate it. I'm usually really optimistic and determined, but the past few days I've just been so stressed out and worried and waiting for some kind of answers that I just feel like throwing myself off a cliff!
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Old 04-12-2009, 11:43 AM   #5
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Also... on top of that... I'm considering starting the Nutrisystem flex diet next month.
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Old 04-12-2009, 12:07 PM   #6
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Thyroid problems stand out from you symptoms.If this is your problem,quite treatable.I am one of those homecare nurses that you are talking about.I have taken care of many infusion patients.I also place PICC lines.I have had patients septic from piercings also.So....Infections are fixable.Right??Your drug use...Gone?Right?Relax.I really think this is something that can be treated.Hang in there.
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Old 04-12-2009, 12:08 PM   #7
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Starfishkitty, I ususally post on another forum but your "heading" caught my eye. After reading your posts, I would suggest you might be checked for Candidiasis? It sounds like you might have a systemic "yeastie beastie" thing....perhaps from taking so many antibiotics for your infections. That can really mess up your system. Good luck to you in your search.
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Old 04-12-2009, 12:52 PM   #8
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Harrissm: I'm definitely leaning heavily towards thyroid problems myself after doing the research.... AND because my maternal grandmother has also been on thyroid meds for over 50 years now as well as my cousin (that was born only 2 months after me) was recently diagnosed, treated, and immediately began to lose weight. Not to mention the other family members that have thyroid problems. I'd be kind of surprised, given my family history and symptoms, if I wasn't. As for the drug use... totally gone. Been gone for years. I was one of the lucky ones who realized I was cutting off my nose to spite my face when it came to self medicating my depression and problems with drugs and booze. And that's crazy that you're a home nurse as well.... I had a PICC line for 2 months back then. I don't think people realize the dangers of piercings....

Kate53: The funny thing is that one of the things I didn't mention was that I DO in fact have a problem with yeast infections and reoccurring bacterial infection, which is obviously frustrating unto itself. I usually get one or the other at least once a year, and end up getting the antibiotics and whatnot for it. It's a never changing thing... the funny thing, though, is that my younger sister has the exact same problem (with just that). We're both trying to figure it out.

*sigh*

And yes.... I know it's all fixable. At least, I hope. I haven't come this far, made it through this much... NOT to figure it out one day. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that these tests give me some answers and solutions. Thanks for the support and kind words guys.... I do feel a little better.
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Old 04-12-2009, 02:04 PM   #9
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And my health and energy and everything just keeps on deteriorating with time... which just seems insane to me because I've made so many steps towards being healthier, including quitting drinking & partying, eating healthier, being so much more active.....
I feel your pain. I feel the same way.

What I'm reading from your posts is most of the time how I feel - completely and utterly overwhelmed, stressed and exhausted. You are stressed to the max honey - and that is never, ever a good thing.

Can I suggest a couple of things? If I were you, I would:

* get a copy of your lab results
* try to find a homeopath (try and see if you can negotiate a price with her/him if you feel you can't afford their rates)
* look into adrenal fatigue

Those are the things that stood out to me. I'm not suggesting a naturopath because they are expensive, and I think a homeopath could start you in the right direction at least.

A lot of your symptoms sound like mine, and I was convinced I had a thyroid problem, however, it turned out to be adrenal fatigue.

ALWAYS get a copy of your lab results. If you ask when you go to have your blood drawn, they will always send you a copy to your house. If you didn't ask - just ask your doctor to print it out for you. This is important because a lot of values may be in their "normal" range, but it's not normal for you. This is a good thing to give to the homeopath/naturopath too.

Is it possible you could set aside 10 minutes daily to do some meditation?

~Choirgirl~
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Old 04-12-2009, 04:18 PM   #10
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Wow, you sound like me! I also got tested and had nothing that was "fixable"--according to my numbers I'm perfectly healthy. Yeah, that's why half my hair has fallen out, I sleep 10 hours a night, I have exzema patches all over, I'm always bone-chillingly cold, and my guts are always in knots. Thanks.

Anyway, I wanted to just tell you that I feel your pain. You're got a lot on your plate, and we're pulling for you.


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A lot of your symptoms sound like mine, and I was convinced I had a thyroid problem, however, it turned out to be adrenal fatigue.
~Choirgirl~

Choirgirl, how did you address the adrenal fatigue? I've looked into that, as well, but I didn't know where to start really or what to do. Any advice you could offer?
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Old 04-12-2009, 05:57 PM   #11
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That's a really good idea, to request my lab results. I know that there's things that just aren't right... and whether or not this doctor wants to go with that, I just don't give a... you know. We know our own bodies... especially after years of trying to get into tune with it for me. This doctor kinda gave me weird looks when I told her I thought it might be a thyroid problem and kept on insisting that she thought it was a Vitamin D deficiency. If that's the case, then so be it (and I'm sure I DO have one... because I always feel a lot healthier in the summer)... but I know that that's not just the end of it, you know? That and stress, and lack of sleep... but c'mon, I'm 26 years old... I should be able to handle a little bit of a hectic lifestyle and some stress. I don't think it'd give me all these obvious symptoms.

A few questions though, choirgirl... 1) What is a homeopath and 2) what is adrenal fatique??


To top all this off... I don't have insurance... which makes it even worse. I just paid $300 for these blood tests and that nearly broke the bank. :/
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Old 04-12-2009, 05:59 PM   #12
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Sidhe.... that's seriously what I'm afraid of, almost more than bad results... getting a result of nothing. You know?

It's like c'mon... I KNOW there's something that can be done, be diagnosed, etc.... there's too many problems for something not to be wrong!

How long have you been dealing with this and what are you planning on doing in the future?
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Old 04-12-2009, 06:44 PM   #13
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For my adrenal fatigue, I addressed it through homeopathy - that and changing my lifestyle as much as I could.

For the lifestyle changes regarding adrenal fatigue, they suggest you:
* always eat breakfast
* try to sleep/wake with your cortisol rhythm, which is wake at 7 or 8 am, sleep at 11 pm. That is when your cortisol levels naturally rise and fall
* reduce stress (haven't done that one yet!)
* don't exercise too late (you want to try to get to bed as early as you can)

As for the supplements, right now I am taking a homeopathic remedy called Ribes Nigrum, but before that took a few other non-homeopathic ones that didn't seem to work as well.

I personally am biased towards homeopathy because it works so well for me, and so quickly. You can usually tell if it's working extremely quickly - within a week or two.

Homeopathy is basically "like cures like". For example, if you had mercury poisoning, your homeopathic remedy would consist of the most dilute form of mercury - this is supposed to activate your own body's defense system against mercury poisoning in order for your body to heal itself.

That's the best most simple explanation I can come up with. There's controversy of course, but all I can say is I am a firm believer, and it works for me.

I have been dealing with adrenal fatigue for a long time now - have been treating it since 2006 - HOWEVER, that being said, I just got a new naturopath at Xmas and she put me on a homeopath remedy for my adrenals rather than a supplement - and lo and behold I am I would say 90% better. I would be 100%, but I have low iron issues that I am addressing also.

If you would like to address it yourself - there are a few tests you can do to self-diagnose, and you could always try a supplement (there's one called AdrenaSense by Lorna Vanderhedge) and see how you feel. There is a good website about it:


Any other questions I would be more than happy to help!

~Choirgirl~

PS - about the whole "getting your own lab results". For example. A "normal range" of iron level is 15-180 (that's some range huh!). A healthy person usually has a level of about 70 or more. A woman who is still getting her periods should have NO LESS THAN 30. However - if you are in the range of 15-30 - you are still considered in the normal range and the doctor's office will not call you back and you will have no idea that you might have a low iron level. Mine was 17. I was having horrible symptoms. My doctor didn't give a sh*t. My naturopath was horrified. Thank god I got a copy of my own lab results!

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Old 04-12-2009, 09:40 PM   #14
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Wow.... yeah... see that's what I'm seeing. For years I've always had a lower blood temperature and I've NEVER had a doctor even MENTION anything about it, look into it, etc.... and yet I've found that that's a symptom to a lot of things including thyroid problems! But did they ever look into it when I mentioned it?? Noo.... of course not.

Also.... it's REALLY hard for me to work with the sleep schedule thing... I work midnights and rarely sleep more than 5 hours at a time. *sigh* I sleep in incriments, which I'm sure doesn't help how I'm feeling. :/

If I don't get anywhere with these doctors... I'll definitely keep the homeopathic stuff in mind. Thanks
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Old 04-12-2009, 10:51 PM   #15
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Starfish
I would also encourage you to check with your hospital about uncompansated care.If you have a non-profit hospital they should offer this.You will fill out an application and they will look at your income.Most hospitals write off a certain amount of care every year for non insured patients.Make a call to patient services and ask.I would hate to see you paying all of this money if you can get your care free of charge. And as I always tell my patients, if you dont feel right and you are told that they find nothing abnormal, be your own advocate.Find a new physician who will listen.Keep us posted please!!!
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