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I want my brain (and my purse) back

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Old 09-05-2008, 07:58 PM   #1
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Default I want my brain (and my purse) back

I'm so crazy upset. I decided I was ready to carry a purse again (hubby has carried all my id and important stuff in his wallet), and now I can't find it.

I don't know if it's in the house, or if I left it in a restaurant or something. I know normal people do things like this occasionally (hubby is trying to console me, telling me how this isn't such a terrible thing, and it probably is in the house), but it just seems like a giant symbol of some greater failure.

Memory and cognitive problems, were a big reason I had to stop working. I had problems concentrating and my short term memory was useless. I had tons of neurological tests, and the neurologist said it's just part of fibromyalgia (the fibrofog, so often talked about).

I guess I felt that my health issues and the fibro was really getting better, and deciding to carry a purse again was a really big deal (I don't know why).

Losing the purse (aside from all the nightmare of losing a purse with important id and credit cards) just seems like a giant smackdown. Proof that I'm not all that much "better."

It's just driving me absolutely crazy. Just needed to rant (before I start tearing the apartment up even further looking for it).
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Old 09-05-2008, 08:12 PM   #2
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I have ADHD I've left things in places.

I once left my planner at a photo shop and didn't realize it until hours later. I was hysterical I had no idea where it was and MY WHOLE LIFE was in it.

you have my sympathy. Fibrobrain (or fibrofog as you call it) is a very very real part of the disability.

maybe just relax and it will come to you. for sure retrace your steps if you think you left it somewhere you were.

for me I found a great mini purse/wallet with a lovely strap that I wear across my body and never put down and therefore can't lose it!
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Old 09-05-2008, 08:14 PM   #3
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I'm also having a day from h e l l.
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Old 09-05-2008, 08:15 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
I'm so crazy upset. I decided I was ready to carry a purse again (hubby has carried all my id and important stuff in his wallet), and now I can't find it.

I don't know if it's in the house, or if I left it in a restaurant or something. I know normal people do things like this occasionally (hubby is trying to console me, telling me how this isn't such a terrible thing, and it probably is in the house), but it just seems like a giant symbol of some greater failure.

Memory and cognitive problems, were a big reason I had to stop working. I had problems concentrating and my short term memory was useless. I had tons of neurological tests, and the neurologist said it's just part of fibromyalgia (the fibrofog, so often talked about).

I guess I felt that my health issues and the fibro was really getting better, and deciding to carry a purse again was a really big deal (I don't know why).

Losing the purse (aside from all the nightmare of losing a purse with important id and credit cards) just seems like a giant smackdown. Proof that I'm not all that much "better."

It's just driving me absolutely crazy. Just needed to rant (before I start tearing the apartment up even further looking for it).
Oh no, take a breath! We all lose things, that's for dang sure. Good luck finding it!

I left my purse at McDonald's once (back when I used to go every Saturday morning and eat ... well, nevermind). Got all the way home. Drove back (mentally rehearsing my story for not having my driver's license if I got pulled over), it was still there in the booth. I guess that was McMuffin Fog.
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Old 09-05-2008, 08:54 PM   #5
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Ranting has helped me destress and relax, and everyone's comments helped even further. Hubby reminds me that nothing is irreplaceable (even the credit card and debit card that are in the purse are both on accounts that no one can get money from. The credit card can only be used for medical and vet expenses, and it's maxed out (it was a $500 limit that we applied for to pay for the vet expenses of our cat that died in April), and the debit card is on an account we were planning ot close, so it only has $4 balance.

Anyone stealing my identity, is probably going to find they were better off with their own.

So even if it is lost in the big ol' world, and not the house, it will be ok.

I lost things when my brain was still working right, too. I mean, I've always been "scatterbrained," to a degree. I always lost my keys and purse in the house, so it probably is here. (I really think I do have a high-functioning ADHD (I read a really interesting theory by a doctor with both ADHD and fibromyalgia - that the two are linked, it does make me wonder).

I am exhausted from tearing the house apart, and now everything hurts.
Tomorrow hubby and I are going to do a thorough search of the bedroom (the only room that might have a few hiding places left) and then will start calling places I could have left it. It could be much worse, I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
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Old 09-05-2008, 10:19 PM   #6
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I am very very sympathetic. Nobody, unless they have experienced the constant frustration of cognitive impairment understands the stress that it places on you.

I was trying on a necklace in Sears yesterday, and I removed, against my better judgement, the gold chain my father (deceased) gave me for my eighteenth birthday. A saleswoman started talking to me. I didn't want any help, but it distracted me. I took off the necklace and replaced it on the rack and walked away...without my gold chain. I didn't realize what I had done until this afternoon, and when I called Sears, well of course no one had seen it.

Wednesday, I was planning on going to the gym right after work. I just started at this gym, I was going to have to pay my membership, so I took my day planner which also has my cheques in it, with me to work. When I got ready to leave, no dayplanner in my bag..I searched everywhere, couldn't find it. Thought maybe, I actually had left it at home. Got home, tore house apart, couldn't find it. Then some other stuff happened...result, I went ballistic in a way I have never done before. BTW with a trip BACK to work, it was right there on my desk, in plain, sight, but I LOOKED THERE THE FIRST TIME...I know some of you know exactly what I mean!

It doesn't matter how much I plan and micro-manage my life....I forget something. I could put it in a neon yellow bag in front of the door, so that I would have to move it before I leave for work, but I would forget to pick it up. My goal for this year is to make it to work at least 3/5 days a week without having to come back home again to get what I forgot.

It is depressing, exhausting and frustrating, and all the recognized coping skills don't seem to help...so all I can say is I DO UNDERSTAND and would you like a hug or is your fibro flaring today

P.S. I once managed to "lose" my postits at a meeting without even leaving my chair LOL
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Old 09-06-2008, 05:40 AM   #7
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ROFL (but sympathetically) about losing the postits, that sounds so like me!
Certainly not wanting to dismiss fibrofog and other health related memory issues (I have peri-menopausal memory issues) - but like the others have said, we All lose stuff, it's just that when we have a condition too it always seems a sign that it's getting worse.

So far I have a place for my house and car keys, that always works!
I have a place for my rings when I take them off to do the washing up.
I have a set routine for giving a titbit to the dogs in a particular order every night, to make sure I haven't left one outside (got 5)
I've got a jar for the church keys - lid on means they're there, lead off means there somewhere else. .....
my purse (money purse) is a constant challenge, it's never where I left it.

Once, 10 years ago, so no menopause excuse, I put the cordless phone in the sink of water instead of the cup. Hey, I needed an excuse for a new phone. At least I didn't try to call anyone on the cup.
Hug.
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Old 09-06-2008, 08:07 AM   #8
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Oh, I *hate* it when that happens! I'm so sorry .

I'm one of those who has always lost things too. I've never tried to carry a cell phone (needing to charge it is beyond me). I stopped carrying a purse a few years ago after losing/forgetting my purse three times in the same year (and canceling my credit cards twice). I once lost my car keys and hubby later found them in the fridge.

Recently, I've noticed that my memory really has been improving. I know that I am exercising a lot and I've been eating a lot of wild salmon, as well as taking fish oil supplements. I wasn't trying to improve my memory, but when I noticed the improvement, I decided these changes in my lifestyle are the ones that are most likely to account for it. Maybe I'll try the challenge of carrying a cell phone one of these days!
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Old 09-06-2008, 09:14 AM   #9
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Try and relax and don't think about the purse for awhile, sometimes that helps me, the location will come to me if I quit stressing about it for awhile.

I once lost my glasses and eventually found them in the silverware drawer!!!!
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Old 09-06-2008, 09:25 AM   #10
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And let's not talk about trying to put the ice cream away in the pantry. Thankfully I was seen and corrected.
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Old 09-06-2008, 09:48 AM   #11
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Oh Colleen! I just want to give you a big internet hug!

I've left my purse in places before... It is so frustrating, and scary, and embarrassing and just not knowing is so awful.

Here are some good vibes so that either you find it safe & sound or that everything can be replaced swiftly!
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Old 09-06-2008, 04:13 PM   #12
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I got it back!!!!!!!

The only place I could think that I might have left it was a mexican restaurant, near our home. We decided to go in and ask, and the young girl who was hostessing looked in their usual lost and found bin, and said "sorry, nope." We decided to have lunch there anyway, but I was quite bummed.

Then, during the meal, the owner came up to us, and told us he had my purse. He'd locked it in a cabinet to give back to us when he saw us, because he couldn't get our phone number from information (it's through Skype, so it's unlisted).

Oh, I'm so happy, happy, happy.

I don't know what makes me happier, actually getting the purse back, or that it was where I suspected it could be (maybe the drain isn't quite so bamaged after all).

I've always been scatterbrained and a bit disorganized, and with the weird memory issues I really do have to develop strategies and habits that help prevent the goofs. I've put a box of frozen fish sticks in the cupboard, and the tv remote in the freezer, but I have made progress. At my worst, hubby was afraid to leave me home alone, for fear I'd burn the house down. Sleep deprivation plays a big role in whether my memory is up to par (and my pain flares as well), and we've got alot going on this month, so I haven't been napping. I need my mid-afternoon nap, and while it makes me feel like an "old fart," I've got to remember that it isn't optional, it's necessary for my functioning level.

And Nessa, I'll be following your advice and wearing the purse across the opposite shoulder so it has no where to go (I'd picked this small purse with the long strap for that very purpose, and then didn't do it).
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Old 09-06-2008, 04:32 PM   #13
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Yay!!!!!

What a sweet owner to lock the purse up so that he could get it back to you! That's just fantastic.

I'm very happy for you.
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Old 09-06-2008, 04:35 PM   #14
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OH yay! i'm so glad to hear this!
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Old 09-07-2008, 02:19 AM   #15
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Good for you! Please don't beat yourself up about this. Everyone's entitled to a few "foggy " moments.
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