Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

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Old 02-21-2004, 04:29 AM   #1  
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Default When Depression Hits Hard

I've been a lurker in the forums for several months, debating on whether or not post anything again... I posted a long time ago, but like a bad habit, I dropped off the forums as well...

Up and til now I've always had someone to talk to... course now she thinks I'm a big dork. It's hard to explain what yer thinking in your head and having others understand. Needless to say, I've lost my rock, my friend, who I could talk to. I still don't know why, but I am sure it is for the best. Maybe she got tired of hearing my depressing stories. It's stress I tell ya.

How do you explain to someone that someone that you care if others die, but you don't care if you die. It's hard. I know it's not the way to feel, but it's what I feel. The only motivation I have right now is the drive to finish school. I'm good at school. I know I can do it. I know I can't fail. That is until recently. I had a major exam for a natural disasters class on tuesday and I disappeared from the earth for about a week. I took that test... I honestly think I failed. I know I did not do any good on it. So now where's my motivation? If that's all I have the motivation for, then I am in trouble... anyways... as far as dieting, I have the motivation of an ant. My Friend is the one that got me motivated back in Christmas to start exercising, then I got sick *go figure* . Now I've lost that motivation. Although I'm over my respiratory infection, I promised her I would get back to exercising.

I recently saw a doctor who said a few degrading things. That didn't help my already low self esteem. However, she did mention one thing that I do know. I am over wieght. Severely. I hadn't been able to weigh myself for hmmm, I would say at least a year and half maybe. The last time I weighed myself I was about 365lbs give or take. I had a membership to 24 hours fitness with my sister. I had the membership for close to 6 months, but I just wasn't seeing the weight loss. If anything, I was gaining weight. But, when I weighed myself at the doctors appointment about 2 weeks ago, I was at my all time high... 373lbs.

I know I'm over weight. I want to lose weight. I'm afraid of failing. I have this constant voice in my head that belongs to my mother... "You embarass your man. You never going to be any good to him being so big. You can't do anything right." That's my mom, I love her to death

People can be cruel... depressiong is crueler. How do you get over the depression? I don't want to be on drugs. I can't stand taking an aspirin even. Can someone hypnotize me? I wish I had my motivating rock back.

What do you folks do to deal with your depression... I find myself going in and out of this roller coaster. More so now than ever. School is getting tougher and the stress is piling on. I have to complete school... it's my only motivation I seem to have, if I don't, then I've truly failed in everything.

Sue...
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Old 02-21-2004, 07:29 AM   #2  
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Hi Sue Marie,

First of all you are beautiful! I know exactly how you are feeling. I posted for a while and then left and I am back now too. I like you have had so much stress that I am battling major depression. I decided this week I have to take all the negative things out of my life and one of those is going to be someone I considered a friend. I made a list of things I was going to do for myself starting now. Today I am rejoining WW, getting my hair cut, getting an eyebrow wax, getting a manicure, going the the chiropractor and maybe even a pedicure if I have enough money left over. Dealing with the stress and depression I totally let myself go. I think doing the things I am doing today will help give me that boost to get on track. I wish I had the magic answer for you but I don't. I will be glad to be your friend and we can help each other. I do go see a physcotherapist and that helps a lot. I hate meds too but I found I had to have something for right now and it seems you may need to do the same but talk to your doctor. I take Lexapro and it seems to do great. I have to run so I can join WW. I think I have gained up to 310 but we will see. Please feel free to email as well anytime. I will send you a PM with my email address.

Have a great day-
Look after you today
Love
Setina
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Old 02-21-2004, 07:30 AM   #3  
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Morning Dear,

First of all regarding your friend it probably was hard on her to hear about your depression. People can't hardly take the drag all the time. Terminating the relationship though seems a bit extreme.

To talk about your problems I would find a support group or conseling. These ladies here can be very supportive, but we need people in the real world too, to hug us and love us. If you can't afford anything there are many free programs in your community. (I personally belong to a 12-step program, but what works for me might not work for you.)

When you went to the Dr. did you talk about the depression. Did she try to help? If not find another Dr. Depression is real, suicidal feelings and lack of motivation are real symptoms. And what exactly is your fear of drugs if your body chemistry is messed up why wouldn't you want to fix it? The gift sometimes of the medication is to balance you out so you can deal with the pain. At 373 lbs thats alot of pain your carrying around.

Afraid of failure? At this point what do you have to lose? I have been where you are, and once you weigh everything I think you will find the answer is nothing.

Take care of yourself lady and keep posting
Miss Chris
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Old 02-21-2004, 08:16 AM   #4  
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Hi SueMarie,

Not only do you have a pretty name but your also a very beautiful girl. When I was in high school I was also over 300 lbs, no friends (well one) and very depressed. I didn't seek help because I didn't think anything was wrong (except the weight).

When you went to your doctor did she discuss medication ? I think that would be a good start. Don't get overwhelmed by trying to change to much at once, that in itself can be depressing.

"I know I'm over weight. I want to lose weight. I'm afraid of failing. I have this constant voice in my head that belongs to my mother... "You embarass your man. You never going to be any good to him being so big. You can't do anything right." That's my mom, I love her to death"

Don't ever feel your not good enough for some one else because thats so not true. Get that statement above out of your head NOW.... When you start living for yourself and not others, thats when you'll see the changes. Anotherwords, Love yourself first!! everything else is second, because if your not happy then the folks around you wont be. Get it?

You seem like such a sweet person, please talk to us more, we are here every day on the daily boards and there are people from 300+ lbs to the 100's struggling with depression. We'd love to see you. Also if you read the bio thread, you'll notice your not alone, there's alot of us out there lol.

But I have to warn you, we can get pretty darn silly and might put a smile on your face....

HUGS !!

Leenie
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Old 02-21-2004, 10:04 AM   #5  
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Good Morning SueMarie,

Beautiful name and beautiful picture of you too! Looks like you've already gotten a lot of good advice and encouragement here, but thought I would add a few thoughts, if you don't mind.

You asked "how do you get rid of the depression?".....well if it is a chemical imbalance, you don't. you need meds. Just like you would need meds if you were diabetic. I also don't take an aspirin unless I absolutely need it, and over the past few years it has become absolutely necessary for our oldest son to be on anti depressants bec of a chemical imbalance. If it were not for the meds, the counseling, the prayer and Faith in God, I do not know if he would be here today. But today he is leading a full and awesome life now!

I have come to understand that sometimes you just need the meds to balance things out, and then along with that, a strong faith in God, eating right, exercise, rest and relationships. We all need those things to be physically and spiritually healthy.

I hope that you will keep talking with us and keep posting here and take care of yourself. SUE MARIE, YOU ARE WORTH IT!

hugs,
cathy
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Old 02-21-2004, 11:04 AM   #6  
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Hello SueMarie:
what a truly beautiful name as well as person you are.You are not alone; as you can see.Many of us deal with depression day in and out.Some good some bad.You will have bad days but the good will also be there.
As many of the women have suggested; Therapy is a great way to get things situated and to have someone LISTEN!!! These people who are therapist are not there to judge you but to help guide you to and through the things that maybe so stressful and/or depressing in your life.I highly suggest looking into it as well as some groups.The comfort of knowing you are not alone and that others understand exactly what you maybe feeling is awesome.I have met many people/friends who are going through this disease of depression.
Medication is a great thing to have to help stable you in trying times.I myself take 2 different medications.Paxil 40 mg and wellbutrin 150 mg a day.My chemical inbalance is stable with these medications and I don't get so overwhelmed with the daily stress of life.
I hope some of this helps...You take care of this first and everything will start to follow.Please continue to visit us...We will listen as well as the people on the outside.

*hugs*
A friend named
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Old 02-21-2004, 11:13 AM   #7  
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Default Don't look too far ahead...

Is this a great place to come or what? If your depressed, happy, disgusted, elated, this is a place to share. But as much as we can listen and offer advice, we are not doctors. The meds are something to look into at least. Don't dismiss them right away. Ask your doctor questions. Tell her your concerns. Sometimes the meds can get you to a place you can work with. Sometimes they are always needed and sometimes they can assist you in getting to where you don't need them. That for you and your doctor to determine. It is by no means any type of failure to take medication. I'm diabetic. I've thought for a very long time I was a failure because the weight is the reason I have diabetes. That's my fault, I put the food in my mouth, I didn't exercise. But now I don't think thats true anymore. Yes, I have to take responsability for myself. But making the wrong choices doesn't make me a failure. But making the right decisions make me a success. Every time I make a good decision, exercising, food choices, doing something for me & me alone, doing something for someone I care about, every good choice is another success. One success at a time we can do it. You can do it. Don't look too far ahead. Small goals, small steps, small successes.
I am your friend,
Donna Donna :
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Old 02-21-2004, 04:59 PM   #8  
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WatermelonCrazy

It sometimes a habit with me to post and either start lurking again or not come back to the forum for a while. I gotta stop that habit hehehe. I think my major battle is stress, which in turn, I believe is leading up to the depression. I transferred to Cal State and have been there since last fall. It's NOTHING like community college. I thought the stress there was bad, but now at Cal State I have other commitments. Not only are the classes harder and more demanding, I've got to go full time in order for the VA to help me with my tuition. Then there's the added stress of having to pass all of my classes otherwise they can legally ask for a reimbursement. Then with bills getting tight I've decided to apply for an Instructional Assistant position and that will just make less time for me to commit to my classwork. Nothing like feeling the pinch!

I have thought about joining WW and other places, but I think I want to try on my own. One of my friend has done a great job with loosing weight on her own. She has so much motivation, and I'm proud of her for that. I just wish I had some of her motivation. I wish she lived closer so that maybe she and I could work together. I'm sure she would kick my rear in gear. But she has done good for herself and I'm hoping maybe by being here, I'll find the motivation hiding in my dark corner within me. Thanks to my friend I've cut back a few things. I'm trying to cut out my candy habits hehehe, I'm a sucker for peanut butter.

Thanks for the PM... Look I found a cow!

Take care...
Sue...
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Old 02-21-2004, 05:23 PM   #9  
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Rochemist

Hi there... oh my, I didnt want it to come across that my friend left me for my problems. There were probably other situations leading up to it. We fought a lot it seemed. Unfortunately it came down to loosing her over something I'm unsure of. But like I said, it's probably a lot less stress in her life now, which is for the best.

I'm currently a student at Cal State, and when I went in for my appointment due to my asthma, I noticed they had a psychological counseling department there. I've been pondering setting up an appointment there for the past few weeks. The stress depressive cycles seem to be coming in faster spurts now. As I told Watermelon, I think it's all related to the stress.

When I went to the doctors, it was my first visit. I was basically there for an hour or so. Their main concern was my asthma. I had a respiratory infection. They put me on 2 nebulizer treatments. The first one did not work, so the second one they put me on was a steroid nebulizer. Which I didn't think worked, but the rattling in my chest was less.

My fear of drugs... I think maybe it's more of an avoidance. Being that I have asthma, it was really bad when I was younger... I used to have to take these HUGE grey, nasty tasting pills. My parents would have to cut them up into three pieces and even then they were hard to swallow.

But all in all, I actually feel a bit better now that I have gotten that bit off my shoulders. I've been debating on whether or not to post because I didn't want to seem... weak... sigh... but I feel a bit better now.



Thanks...
Sue...
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Old 02-21-2004, 05:42 PM   #10  
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Suemarie,
Thanks for sharing..........I think you do well to share your heart with words!

Remember no situation is ever hopeless!

You already have friends here and peole who care!

I am confident you are good at many things!

Consider yourself hugged girl!

Cin
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Old 02-21-2004, 06:04 PM   #11  
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I think I am going to reply to the rest in one posting so I don't clutter up the forum hehehe...

Leenie

I was about 250 in high school... but I think it was much harder then, because your peers can be soooo cruel. I think my problem is, there is not enough time in the day for me to get anything done. School is constantly swallowing up my time. I find myself locked up in the library working on paper after paper after paper. I got a laptop because I thought it would make things easier. I could do my school work on there and take it to the library when needed. Now I find myself at the library like 3 -4 times a week, not including the 2 days of class that i goto and that is between 2pm and 10pm for my classes.

I didn't talk to my doctor about the depression. I was at a bit higher place then than i am now hehehe. Although I'm feeling a bit better now. I know I'm not alone, from reading this forum, I think it's what made me decide to post. Knowing people have been there done that or are still dealing with it. It's helps to know that. I'll be looking forward to those smiles too hehehe.

Cathyxxx

I have come to understand that sometimes you just need the meds to balance things out, and then along with that, a strong faith in God, eating right, exercise, rest and relationships. We all need those things to be physically and spiritually healthy.

I think I'm lacking in quite a few of those departments. Specially rest. I've been trying to not pull all-nighters at school. But with all these papers being assigned each week, it's making it harder. But I definately think I need to do some picking-up in those departments.

Lynnie24

It definately helps to know yer not alone. I'm hoping all this positve attitude will rub off on me. Although I had a lot of that from my friend. I'm just hoping this kick in the rear will do something for me.

DonnaD

every good choice is another success. One success at a time we can do it. You can do it. Don't look too far ahead. Small goals, small steps, small successes.

Very well stated. My concern at the moment is school. But I'm so unhappy about my weight that I'm trying to focus on that too... and it ends up in a mess. I did however, take a Dance class this quarter instead of an acutal lesson plans course. (Working towards Teaching Degree).

*repeating* small goals, small steps... small steps...

Thanks guys!
Sue...
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Old 02-21-2004, 06:07 PM   #12  
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Thank you Cin...

I know it's never hopless, but man, sometimes it just seems like that. Specially when you hit one dead end after another. But, I am trying, maybe not enough to some people, but I am... Thank you for your words of confidence.

Sue...
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Old 02-22-2004, 04:40 PM   #13  
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Hi SueMarie

The 1st thing that comes into my head about depression is proper treatment.

I have been depressed for 23 years on & off....was on antidepressants on & off over those years. Finally last winter I was finally diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD....that is depression in the fall & winter & into the spring....you can even have this at other times of the year when it is rainy, cloudy or overcast.

3 winters ago I was sad all winter....that was the 1st time it was like that......I finally went to Mental Health last winter.....it took 3 winters to get the right antidepressant & the right dose...plus I use a light box twice a day from Oct. 1 to April....I can't believe how much better I feel now.....my counsellor said....it's a learning process....figuring out how to have the right treatment for you.

The weight problem figures into all this also.....many overweight women are depressed....is it from being depressed?....or is it from the type of depression you have....with SAD.....one of the symptoms is wanting to eat lots of starchy foods.....I did eat lots of starchy foods over all those years. I used to say to myself....why do I do this.....what is wrong with me......now that am being treated....I don't do this as much any more.

So...you need to go to your doctor & between the two of you....figure out treatment which will make you feel better...it is trial & error...& a learning process....if 1 drug doesn't work...try another.
April
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