[cathyxxx]

I need to get something off my chest. I just really need to throw this out there into cyberspace and no one has to reply if you don't want to.....

But this week I had run into 2 friends from school that recently had the gastric bypass surgery and lost a lot of weight. This morning when we were leaving church I ran into the 3rd friend. She has probably gained about 100 lbs since we graduated and I have watched her personality change over the years along with her weight. As I was getting ready to leave church today I happened to see her and she did not look like the same person. She looked absolutely great! Smiling from ear to ear and all of a sudden much thinner. I went over to her and told her she looked great and asked her what she was doing. She told me she had the gastric bypass surgery down 7 weeks ago and has already lost 45 lbs. She has not had one problem and her only regret was that she didn't do it 10 years ago. She said the doc had told her that the surgery would change her body chemistry but that it was like she had brain surgery too. She said she has no appetite, no desire for food and never thinks about food. She said how good she felt (which was obvious by her face) and even told me that before the surgery she couldn't stand for anybody to touch her and feel her fat, but since losing the 45 lbs she can't wait for her hubby to put his arms around her, because she is already so much smaller and feels better. (ouch)

She is probably about my size now, and I know that attitude is everything, and I am so thrilled for her, I really am, but by the time I got to my car I was almost in tears. It was like somebody dangling a million, no 20 billion dollars, in front of my face and saying "this is something you will never have". Gosh I'm in tears right now just typing this out.

She said she has been on so many diets thru the years and eaten even less then she is now and not lost a pound, but something in her body chemistry has changed after the surgery and she is finally losing the weight.

I mean I know I could never have the surgery done, even if I needed it, I could never pay for it, and even at 5' 3 1/2" and 202 lbs I would never be considered a candidate for something like that, especially since I don't have any health problems (Thank God) except for my knees starting to bother me and I'm not even saying that I would even ever want to have such a thing done, but I would love to lose 45 lbs in 7 weeks - heck I can't even lose 2 lbs in 7 weeks - and I would love to not think about food - love to not have a desire for food (I mean in a healthy way) and I mean I would really really love to feel good about myself when somebody (especially dh) touched me and not be worrying about all the fat!

I guess I just needed to admit how jealous I am of people being able to change their body chemistry and being able to lose weight and being able to feel good about themselves. I feel awful for admitting I feel this way, but thought maybe ya'll would understand.

Don't mean to get anybody down or concerned that I'm having a major fit or anything, but I think I'm gonna dry my eyes and pull myself together and then put on my tennis shoes and go for a long long walk and clear my silly silly head.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings!

Cathy

[JudoMom]

Dear Cathy,

You aren't jealous of her *hug*.. you are jealous of her situation - her solution. There is a mighty big difference, so please don't beat yourself up for how you feel.

I, too, haven't been able to find anything that works for me... not since I was 22 and lost 45 pounds with WW. At the time, it fell off... I lived on my own, was active, and it just worked. Now? Ha! I've been back to WW so many times I may as well have put the money into a new vehicle... and for what? I weigh more now than I did the day I gave birth to my two children.

Last week, I joined TOPS. I don't care anymore about losing X number of pounds per week - ever seeing my toes again without suckin in majorly - and people telling me I've changed (nice for "my you've gained weight"). I just want to FEEL better. Do I care about the weight? Of course I do. Who am I kidding? But more importantly, I need to FEEL better.

Cathy, I'm your height... actually, 1/2" shorter. I know what you mean. My knees hurt too, but mostly my back. I know it's the weight. I have a hip that gives me trouble too, but I know in my heart of hearts, the weight is a problem for it too.

You're here.. and you're trying. And you reach out and comfort others. Beauty shines from within. Don't ever feel badly about the green eyed monster *hugs.

[Leenie]

Hi Cathy,

Boy I do know how you feel. I think 99% of us do. Let me just say this. Surgery is not a cure, ask Jiff on the surgery boards. These folks, after time struggle with the fact that they can return to their old eating habbits. I know that people that have had surgery and easily gain the weight back, they have to be ten times more careful one because of the surgery, two they have to take special care of themselves and three like I said its not a cure.

Now did you know that when you have surgery you eat extremely lots of protein ?? My girlfriends brother who had surgery can not eat sugar, he gets deathly sick if he does. Everyone reacts differently.

Did you ever think about trying low carb or atkins ? Maybe this will help you lose faster. I know you are deeply hurt right now, and who can blame you. The whole world is melting around us and it hurts. We have to decide whats more important food or feeling good ? When your doing low carb, or atkins you can have a day where you can treat yourself, its really no different than any other diet plan. The key is to just not have to many of those days........ It can't hurt to try, but as always, before you start any diet Cathy, talk to your doctor and see if its a good idea, especially with the medications you are on.

BTW, its okay to feel jealous, its very natural and very human.

Hang in there lady, hang in there. We love you !!

Leenie

[april99]

Cathy....I had a friend who had surgery to lose weight....can't remember if I ever mentioned it here before....she had problems for years after the surgery. About 9 years after the original surgery....she went to have the surgery re done. She never came out of the hospital.....she had complcations...lots of them....2 months after the surgery....she died....of a massive coronary....she was only 47. When people have this surgery....it doesn't always turn out okay.
I am so glad you won't have this surgery.

I am like you all.....have tried so many things to lose weight over the years....only to gain it back. Every year since 1970....have joined Weight Watchers about 3 or 4 times a year until a few years ago. I used to get so discouraged & feel that I would never succeed.

Now I am doing ediets....it is easy to stick to....a lot cheaper that Weight Watchers....about $3.50 a week Canadian....it is an on line weight loss company. There are other weight loss groups out there also.
Just hang in there....I didn't think it was possible for me to lose weight after all these years of trying & failing....but it is......I realize that now.....you can too.

April