Lost all hope...
Hi, my name is Stephanie and i'm a 22 year old uni student.
When i was a young teen i suffered from an eating disorder, i starved myself for months and afterwards i gained a large amount back, which resulted in losing all my confidence and made me feel even worse than before.
Over the years i tried literally every diet out there (intermittent fasting, not eating at all, Master Cleanse, one meal a day, no dinner, no breakfast, gluten free, dairy free, vegetarian, vegan, only one type of food, one apple a day, drinking only diet coke, laxatives, running 2 hours a day and even taking about 20 pills of iodium a day in hopes of getting hyperthyroidism), but always failed, so i really don't know what else to try.
Since i still live at home, cooking seperatly is also difficult.
In 25 days the new semester starts and because of my insecurities i haven't been able to find any friends in the last couple of years at all and of course my lonelyness results in eating even more.
Originally i was always very thin, before making the stupid mistake of thinking i need to be even thinner and starting this whole nightmare.
I always tell myself that now i'm going to lose weigth and get happier, but i never manage to. Now my BMI starts to be classified as overweight, so i simply have to do something and i also believe that if i don't manage to lose it now, i won't make any friends again and will forever feel miserabe.
Yesterday i was so motivated and this morning everything went well until lunch, than i snapped again... I just feel so empty if i don't eat constantly, but on the same time i completely hate my body; i can't even remember the last time i did't feel ugly and sad.
At the start of my holidays i thought, now i'm gonna change and by the time uni starts again i feel better and ready to approach some people, but now there's no longer a lot of time left; i simply feel as if i'm wasting all my life.
Has somebody of you any tips on how to get out of this? Maybe even gone through a similar situation? I'd really appreciate your help,i really don't know what to do anymore, so i thought, maybe a support forum wouldn't be to bad, to kinda keep you on track...
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