[mimsyborogoves]

And this has been happening for a while now. I really have a problem, and I don't know what to do. A couple years ago I thought it was attributed to my menstrual cycle, and when I told my doctor about it, she just threw some Zoloft at me, so now I take Zoloft everyday.

But here's the issue: if I forget to take my pill, and this happens more frequently than I'd like to admit (even though I have an alarm on my phone. I've considered just putting a sticky note reminder on my bathroom mirror), then I go crazy. The slightest thing can set me off. The other day I had a full-blown anxiety attack because a dress I wanted to wear was too short for my liking. Today, my trigger was that when I asked my boyfriend his honest opinion of the meals I cook for him, he told me that sometimes he really just doesn't like what I make. This happens ANY time we try to have discussions like this. It's like if someone says something that could be even slightly construed as "negative" towards me, or if I get too stressed out, I turn into a lunatic. First it starts as emotional, and I start crying, and then next thing I know I'm in the bedroom with the door shut fighting with myself to calm down. (Literally, like I start screaming and throwing stuff...it's not good.) My boyfriend can't even comfort me because when I'm like that, I become too stressful to handle.

My employer offers EAP benefits, and I plan on taking them up on that tomorrow to set myself up with a therapist. My zoloft helps when I remember to take it regularly, but I feel like I shouldn't be doing that just because I miss a pill. I just ran out of pills and I'm hopefully getting more tomorrow, but I don't want to rely on pills anymore. I want to be able to manage my own emotional state.

But, I can't. I need help, and depending on when the therapist can get me in, I don't know when my appointment will be. How can I manage my symptoms while I'm waiting for an appointment, and how can I keep myself from having these awful anxiety attacks? My boyfriend just witnessed the worst part of my attacks; I don't want him to see that again. It's embarrassing and I'm ashamed that I can't keep my sh!t together. How do you guys manage things like anxiety?

[Misti in Seattle]

Hi. Sorry about all the struggles you are facing. This sounds all too familiar to me. Have you had your thyroid checked? I know sometimes that gets overly blamed for our issues, but I really did have a massive thyroid tumor (which fortunately turned out to be benign). But I thought I was going crazy. I have always been a very stable person but suddenly found myself having panic attacks over nothing... sitting and crying for hours for ??? -- nothing. And my thyroid functioning showed normal on the tests but it was anything but. I have had half my thyroid and one parathyroid removed... and the instant I woke up from surgery, the panicked feelings were... GONE. Completely.... which did not even make sense because I had not yet started the meds to get me back on track. That was over 10 years ago and I have never had another issue with it.

I would encourage you to get a complete medical checkup, if you have not done so. Quite often thyroid or some other physical condition could be causing this.