Originally Posted by ThatllDoPig
I'm very new to the forum. I just introduced myself in the intro section but for the rundown…..I've battled anorexia and other EDNOS through out most of my college experience and my twenties. I'm 32 now. I've been married for 1 year. At 5'6 I was a healthy 130lbs when I met my husband, 150lbs on my wedding day and today I am almost 190lbs. I cannot believe how much I've gained. Every time I step on the scale it's the heaviest I've ever been.
I go out less now, socialize less, afraid of the people that know me to see me like this. We just moved back to my home state after living in NYC for the last 10 years so I know my weight gain must look so drastic. I'm ashamed and ever since the weight gain over the last year I've really turned to drinking. Every night I have a nightcap - sometimes two. Just to relax and forget about how much I hate my body. I know it's contributing to my gaining weight. I'm concerned about becoming an alcoholic. I always say I'm going to stop but I never do.
I still feel like I'm young and I know I can turn it around. My mom's side has a history of obesity. Every day I have a positive outlook but my addiction to food just brings me down and I give up. Just wanted to get this out there. Thanks for any words of support.
From your words I can sense that you are very focused on the negative aspects of your life. Can you share a few of the positive as well?
From what I can tell: you are young, newlywed, that got to live in New York for many years. That sounds like a dream to most people. Sometimes we are so focused on our problems that we forget to give thanks on the things that do work for us.
In life what ever we focus on grows, so when you focus on your increasing weight, you end up depressed and starts drinking which only contribute to that.
I found that writing 5 things I am grateful for in my life daily, gives me so much power to do and to achieve.
Try it for a week.
Put a pen and paper next to your bed and first thing in the morning or even last thing at night write those done.
Read them and think about your blessing even if it's just for that moment.
You will be amazed by the positive outcome it will have on your life.
Let me know if that made a different.
Looking forward to hear back from you.
And congratulation on being here and sharing your story and taking action to change your situation !