[Sunnyjennyb]

I binge eat all the time . I don't even need to be hungry. Yesterday I met my husband had a lovely steak dinner then left, we both deliverror rvs around the country and we're going opposite directions, then 30 minutes later I wanted cinnabon intensely bad so I stopped but they didn't have it so I ate a 20 pm chicken nugget! It's crazy behavior! I know I'm emotional I need to find a support group to talk to. My life hit rock bottom two years ago we lost our home and had to start life over at 40 something. The kids were growing up and the empty nest thing hit me like a ton of bricks, I would cry for a week each time one moved out.then the final blow was my youngest son. Shortly after his 18th birthday he changed, he became a loner , paranoid, angry ,then terrifyingly the voices started. He was out of control and hospitalized, diagnosed with schizophrenia. He will never be the same.my smart loveable boy is gone! Replaced by this young man who blames us, he thinks we have super powers are are putting the voices there. Some days are better than others but two years later we still haven't made any progress towards making him understand. He's been hospitalized multiple times. The whole family is afraid of him
I'm terrified he will hurt himself. Yesterday my husband talked to me about sending him to a specialized home. I know he's right but I want to wait till after the holidays. Needless to say I think I'm trying to kill myself with food. My body hurts all the time. I've got terrible foot pain, back pain, and embarrassingly a weak bladder. I can't sleep right. I'm tired and go right to sleep at night but I'll wake up off and on all night. I need help and would love to talk to anyone that has gone through anything like this.

[lemonthyme]

Sunny: It sounds like you are carrying the world on your shoulders right now. I am sorry you are struggling with your family. Is there anything that might help you? Be it a trip to your doctor for your sadness? Is it possible if you and DH work for the same company to get on the same crew so you are together during the week? Is there one item that you can just make a change and see if that helps and then as you become lighter in spirit add on another? There is nothing wrong with saying to someone you need help and it sounds like with all that you posted, you'd love something of your day to day to become normal again.

As for the cravings, have you upped your good protein at all? I find that if I keep my proteins even and with each meal, I don't go after the bad stuff as much. I am still learning to work w/my sweet tooth. It's hard, I know when things call your name and you feel you need them pronto. I carry almonds with me for when I am out and about and I will have 10 of them when I feel I just need that candy bar while standing in the check out. Another thing I know that I keep reading here is a lot of the people have something that they do to counteract a craving - some knit, some exercise or drink water. Maybe there is something like that you can try to add when the cravings strike.

Above all, treat yourself well. It sounds like a good is in order. Thank you for caring for your son as he gets help. Its hard when a family member is suffering and though he says you are against him, know that you are trying the best that you can and he is loved.