Depression and Weight IssuesHave you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!
I am so busy with school and homework and work. whew Last week just about killed me. I felt myself wanting to break but I talked myself through it and made it. I did tell my boss that I couldn't work that many hours this coming week, it was just too many. The check will be nice but I need my sanity. I love my classes but they are hard and keep me very busy. I am up tonight at 11:30 studying. I need to watch some videos for one of my classes.
Kathleen, I am so sorry you are having home problems. *hug* We are here for you, just know that.
Invincible1, I just want to say again, how happy we are to have you here with us!!!!!!! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers due to your problems.
Fiona, you are so sick and I am so sorry. I hope you feel better soon.
Jennifer seems to like her internship but said she was very tired. She is working 38 hours a week. I hope she is alright, she is not used to working that many hours.
I have to work tomorrow at 10 am until 1 pm.
That is about all that is going on here. Just lots of learning and some freaking out. lol
Have a great Sunday and Monday. I will try to check in tomorrow.
It will take some time to figure out what's going on with everyone. What kind of math class is OhioFS taking--in early January?? Who is Grace? Why is everyone getting sick???
Today was not so good for me, and DH was not doing quite as well either, although he just left for the gym. I promise I am not going to incessantly whine, but I still need to figure out how to use this forum. I am eating healthful foods only, but am not losing weight, because I am not getting enough exercise and am not cutting calories enough. My attempts to lose weight are foiled by "feelings", that are usually triggered by meanness from other people. I cannot control other people, but I need to find a way to control my reaction to them, because insensitivity and meanness is everywhere. Intellectually, I know some if the things I need to do for better physical, mental, and spiritual health: keep a schedule, regular sleeping patterns, sunlight, exercise, meditation, gratitude, check email only a few times a day, etc. But, honestly, I don't do these things very well. I simply let life overwhelm me--the bad parts of life.
What do you think, ladies? With age and its funny little jokes it plays on your body and mind, do you think it's possible to develop a new mindset? I can be mirthful, just not in my head, and certainly not most of the time. Why can't we get back a zest for life like kindergartners unleashed on a playground? Can we get there?
Lisa: Thank you for your support! Glad you are taking care of yourself by telling your boss to give you fewer work hours this week. Yes, you definitely need your sanity! I hope having fewer work hours helps to relieve some pressure on you. Hang in there! I hope and pray that all of your hard work at school will pay off for you. You are doing great!
Invincible1: I am not sure which math class ohiofreespirit (Lisa) is taking, but I do know it started. Grace is Fi's (Fiona) great niece who comes to her house on Fridays to make collages with her. And we are all getting sick because there are several nasty strains of the cold and flu going around. Be patient with yourself. It definitely does take awhile to figure out who is who in the group. Just check in whenever possible to give us an update on you and if you ever want to or have extra time, you can post "personals" directly to one or more members of the group. All we ask is for your support and encouragement and, hopefully, you will feel the same from us!
Sorry that you didn't have a good day. At least you have already identified why you haven't been losing weight and several things you need to do for better physical, mental, and spiritual health. That is half the battle. I, too, often let the negative things in life overwhelm me. I am working hard to focus on the positive, but it is a constant challenge for me. It is very difficult to deal with insensitive and mean people, especially if you are a sensitive and nice person. You are so right that we can't control others, but we can control how we choose to respond to them. I definitely DO think it is possible to develop a new mindset..... regardless of our age or our experiences in life!!! In fact, this is my mission for 2015! My goal is to change my relationship with food, which will require learning a whole new mindset. It won't be easy, but I am willing to put forth the effort it will require, and I know it WILL be worth it! And, trust me, if I can do it, so can YOU!!!
Invincible1, I am taking Math 062, it's an Algebra class. I am not very good at math so I had to start low in math. I also am taking a computer apps class. My major is Multimedia Design and Development. I attend DeVry University in Columbus, Ohio.
Kathleen, I wound up with 15 hours with 1 job, last week. My other job, I had 6 hours, that is just too many hours total for me, along with my classes.
I have decided not to go to math classes tonight. I could probably make it there just fine, but coming home worries me. It is supposed to get down to 10 degrees and what we got is going to freeze. It is slush city out there right now.
Now think good thoughts for Ohio State tonight. I want them to win so badly It's the National Championship.
Today was again better. I made a few stops on the way to work to buy some supplements, thanks to the suggestions made by YOU GUYS! I picked up some B3 (which I had been intending to purchase), some SAM-e, and some NAC. I would never have considered NAC, but it makes sense for all the things going on with me. I also picked up some turkey burger/patties so I could go high protein/low carb today. These measures seemed to help. I gave DH some of the new supplements today; let's see if they help him cope. Baby steps.
Well, looks like you Buckeyed people might get your wish!
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
The kittens are really rowdy tonight—chasing each other up and down the stairs and the upstairs hallway. When our previous pair were at this age, we called them "wildeboos" (WILL-duh-booze), and now that word is back into our life. Funny, the resonances we're getting with the two earlier pairs of kittens. We especially notice the ways in which the males are alike, and ditto for the females. But Nénu is special: she's much more affectionate toward us than the previous two females. She does this thing we call "wet Eskimo kissing" where she climbs up one's body and then rubs her wet nose against the dry human nose. It's adorable!
And I've already talked about how bonded with each other they are: a LOT of their behavior, whether rowdy & loud or soft & sweet, is directed toward pleasing the other one. They truly love each other. My favorite part of their relationship is when Oscar does silly things like multiple somersaults, just to put a big grin on Nénu's face.
I'm talking about the cats because they're a part of my life that doesn't suck. I've fallen deep into a horrible world where I buy donuts and cookies, then immediately eat them, in the car on the way home. My body hates it. I hate it. These "foods" no longer bring me any pleasure: all they do is temporarily distract me from the pain in my chest.
I'm hurting really bad over this thing with Grace's parents, but I do not think a sit-down conversation would help. This whole issue is between Grace and her parents. I don't want my own emotional reaction to get entangled in their family dynamics. Grace is going to have to work hard to get free of her parents treating her like a child—a typical overscheduled child, at that. She's got music lessons & performances, Girl Scouts, swim team, and Lord knows what else. And they demand a lot from her around the house: Grace says she has to hide in her room all the time, because as soon as she emerges, her parents hit her with a chore they want her to do, including babysitting for the extremely willful 2-year-old (a cousin, actually) they adopted. Maybe Grace allowed herself to get overscheduled in order to escape from babysitting duty: she can't stand it!
I must stay, for Grace's sake, out of all that mess. I need to be patient and consistent. Which means that I've only got four days to get out of this disgusting cookies-&-donuts attack, out of all this pain, and back to my quirky but level-headed self. I'm doing my Qigong, meditating, working on collages, spending time with the kittens—basically everything I can think of to get my psyche out of the gutter. So far, nothing is helping me much. Collage feels like a chore; the kittens get on my nerves; Bob is miserable over the situation with his mother getting rapidly more demented. But the Qigong does indeed have a effect. So I'm doing my Qigong and looking forward to seeing my instructor on Thursday.
Thanks for bein' there, y'all. I can feel your support the strongest when I'm stuffing the donuts & cookies in, because I'm able to observe, for the first time, how unpleasant that activity feels. Sugar has absolutely no redeeming qualities for me. I haven't had any today. I just realized that. I feel kind of yucky, because I had three heaping bowls of muesli with cream & stevia, and didn't eat anything else. But it's a tiny step in the right direction, that I spontaneously got off the cookies-&-donuts train.
G'night, sweet dreams, and of course: peace, love, & rock-n-roll,
I am exhausted today but running on scarlet and gray adrenaline after the Buckeyes won the National Championship late last night!!! Woohoo!!! I had my first live call with Marna Thall yesterday afternoon for the Gold Coaching Program to help with emotional eating. I was really nervous but excited about it. It went really well and I think this whole program is going to be a huge help to me! My focus/homework for this week is to get in touch with my physical hunger cues. I have definitely been very out of touch with my physical hunger cues for many years now. I often eat due to boredom, procrastination, stress, and for other emotional reasons; or just because it is "time" for lunch or dinner (regardless if I am really physically hungry). I got to the point where I thought I was always hungry and just a glutton, but I am beginning to learn to recognize when my urges are cravings rather than true hunger. The real key is to STOP eating or not eat at all when I am not physically hungry and to stop eating when I am satisfied (and before I feel full or stuffed). That is the way "naturally thin" people eat most of the time without really even thinking about it. My 2nd task for the week is to identify what it is that I really want or need when I want to eat for reasons other than physical hunger. Our ultimate goal is to learn to think, eat, and live like a naturally thin person. Another piece of homework is to write out in a journal 2-3 things each night that I did that day that were positive; that I am proud of and where I am making changes. I've got my work cut out for me!!!
Invincible1: HOORAY for you for taking a positive step in your self-care by getting some supplements and turkey patties that will hopefully help you (and maybe even your hubby) feel better! Keep us posted!
Fi: I feel sad for you that you are bingeing on donuts and cookies even though you hate it and it no longer brings you pleasure. BUT that is so great that you recognize that your body doesn't even like the food items anymore and that you know it is fulfilling another need. Would it help to journal and free write about the binges? That usually helps me to get in touch with my emotions. I really feel for you with the Grace situation, too. Sorry it is causing you so much distress and pain. I think you ARE so wise to try to stay out of it, but that is very difficult to do. Keep on practicing your Qigong as much as possible since it is so helpful. Can you ask your instructor for specific tips to help with the situation with Grace? Or is that unnecessary/inappropriate? Spend precious time with those frisky kittens as much as possible, too! It sounds like just watching them is fun and could be entertainment for hours! HOORAY for NO sugar the other day!!! "Tiny steps in the right direction" eventually add up to success! You are a strong woman, Fi! You can break the sugar addiction cycle again! You already proved you can do it. Best of luck to you while you work to kick the habit again!
Fiona, the kittens sound adorable! I find the sweets story sad as well..would you find a strong peppermint enjoyable? It would be a smaller act of self-defiance. I don't know your situation with Grace, but it sounds like you miss her dearly. I'm sure she knows that you are there for her.
Thanks for the hoorays, Ibelieve. Today was a bit of a setback. I got up with a sincere determination for improvement and accomplishment. I was pleased to see some weight had come off. I made breakfast and coffee, and first took the sam-e on an empty stomach this time as per the directions--unlike yesterday. Within 10 min I was howling in pain. My first thought was gallstones, as that is a nasty possible side effect of some medication I'm taking. But now I think it was probably the sam-e on an empty stomach. It was bad. With all the colds and flu going around, I thought a simple "not feeling well" would suffice at work, but wounldn'tcha know, a co-worker brought up hangovers. Ugh. (He's the harmless nerd type, so it didn't bother me much.) Anyway, my tummy still hurts!
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
Well, y'all will be relieved to hear that the situation with Grace—my great niece, a freshman in high school, whom I am mentoring for all sorts of things, especially collage art, which is my calling—has improved a whole lot. She finally worked up the nerve to ask her parents what would happen with our Fridays. They talked privately for a while, then came back with the following: "Be home by 10:30 PM this Friday." That's A-OK with me, and is in fact is the time I was aiming for, before that one late night and the ensuing fiasco. I'm kinda disappointed they didn't guarantee anything about not schedulng other things into our Fridays, and that they didn't give any more explanation or want to discuss the matter further. But we will make it through this rough patch, one Friday at a time.
Much more disappointing is the fact that my mood has not improved. I'm still having episodes of -3, even -4, every day for hours. All the same, I did finish the collage I had to make. I still haven't written the swap I'm hosting, but that's next on my list. Meanwhile, I'm doing everything in my power to get my mood much better, so that I can have a fabulous Friday with Grace.
Foodwise, I appear to be done with the binge episode and back to my normal routine of modified Atkin's. I haven't been consistent about doing my leg exercises every night, not in a long time, and I really want to get there because having strong thighs & knees makes my Qigong exercises go more smoothly. And Qigong is my big mood-improver, these days.
As soon as I upload it on ipernity, I'll give you the link to my new collage, which I think is funny. But then I do have a weird sense of humor. =grin=
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
Here's my latest collage, titled "when all the ice melts..." Someone asked me if box #10 was a self-portrait. Since I've been angry and beleaguered of late, and my collages usually refer to my emotional state, I said, "Yes." =grin=
How are you all doing? It's been kinda quiet in here lately. I hope you all haven't disappeared for good??????
I am doing homework and make some progress in my Comp100 class. I'll finish it tomorrow and take my exam tomorrow too. I still need to finish my math for the week too and it is story problems combined with fractions. bleh Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers for the strength and the intelligence to get through school. I would really appreciate it. *hug*
Man, it is 9 pm already. Time flies in the evening. I am sitting here watching the movie Predator, what a great old flick. I have it turned down so it won't bother my attention span too much. I look up every once in a while to see what is happening. Love this movie.
We really need to get this thread moving again. I miss you girls.
C'mon Lis'. Stop watching Predator and get back to those math problems! You can do it girrrl! Use up that scratch paper and all your erasers!
Well. I don't know what to say. Had a horrible eye appt today. Horrible. Stayed 1.5 hrs after close while dr called specialists, etc etc. I guess there's no avoiding the surgery next week. I don't know how I will deal with all this and keep my job.
And DH is still dealing with depression. He's lost 6lb since Dec 25. And he doesn't need to lose ANY!
When I finally catch that bluebird of happiness, I'll hafta be careful not to squeeze him to death on accounta holding on too tight.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers for the strength and the intelligence to get through school. I would really appreciate it. *hug*
You got it! and best wishes on the exam today
Hi!! no i haven't gone for good, just missed a few days here and then was glad to see new names but didn't catch up enough to comment on all so I will be lazy and just look at this page
Fi I'm glad Grace's parents are giving her some freedom with you. And very glad the binge episode is over, that must have been awful. Yes funny collage
Invincible1 Hi!! very very good to have you here. What is "sam-e"? I must have missed that before . And OMG I am so sorry to hear of the eye problems!! so scary. We will all be thinking of you and pulling for you and the best possible outcome with the surgery. And you made me laugh about being careful not to squeeze that bluebird of happiness too hard That little guy does fly to me but not til May.
Lisa Hi!! I am so in awe of you taking the classes and working so much, I really am. You really give off a sense of serenity to me, I don't know if you feel it but you write in a very calming sense, at least it seems that way to me . Wish we could meet in person!
Kathleen oh my gosh first I'm so sorry to hear of the family strife I hope that is a workable situation now. It made my stomach briefly knot up, thinking how bad it must have been at the time. BUT I am so glad you had your first coaching call!! Boy did what you write make sense, but yes it is WORK to do all that thinking, and writing, instead of just taking something and putting it in our mouth! but that's how we arrive at becoming overweight..best wishes for this to be "the thing' that works for your steps to bettr health and happiness!!
Hey it is sad that we don't hear from Li'l Turtle or Amy anymore! You get worried.
Well the event looming over me is finally over, and it went well (our annual motorcycle raffle) on the 10th. It went smoothly and I got congrats on doing a good job (though it is truly a group effort) yet now I see the pics of me at the event and I just looked stuffed into my jeans, though had felt at the time I looked okay..this distorted self-image just tortures me! I simultaneously think " I look okay" AND "I look horrible". guess that's mental illness
Last edited by VermontMom; 01-16-2015 at 08:28 AM.
What do you think, ladies? With age and its funny little jokes it plays on your body and mind, do you think it's possible to develop a new mindset? I can be mirthful, just not in my head, and certainly not most of the time. Why can't we get back a zest for life like kindergartners unleashed on a playground? Can we get there?
this was good!! and YES I can get my mirth and zest but never in the winter months. Only when it's green and beautiful and I can ride my motorcycle
And, trust me, if I can do it, so can YOU!!! 
Go Buckeyes!!!!!
I so hope we win, too!!! 
Happy Buckeye!!!
I think you ARE so wise to try to stay out of it, but that is very difficult to do. Keep on practicing your Qigong as much as possible since it is so helpful. Can you ask your instructor for specific tips to help with the situation with Grace? Or is that unnecessary/inappropriate? Spend precious time with those frisky kittens as much as possible, too! It sounds like just watching them is fun and could be entertainment for hours! 
That little guy does fly to me but not til May. 
I simultaneously think " I look okay" AND "I look horrible". guess that's mental illness 
