Depression and Weight IssuesHave you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
OK, now for a couple of collages... As usual, if you click on the image, you'll get a lerger version. The first is a 6" x 9" postcard titled "oblique-lined dottyback": if you read the text underneath, it explains the title.
I'm not all that happy with how the second one turned out. I have a strong desire to jump up from 6" x 9" postcards to making larger pieces, but maybe I should be more patient and learn about how to make eye-pleasing compositions on an intermediate size like 7" by 11". Or maybe it's my muse who needs to be more patient! =laugh= It's kind of like when a writer jumps from writing short stories to writing novels: larger sizes allow for more complexity, which is challenging to pull off.
I am up to 3 tablets of Metformin immediately after dinner each night. I take it for Insulin Resistance. Working my way up to 4 tablets. Exercise was not great this past week, but food has been good. I've noticed that the scale has started to budge just a LITTLE, but at least it is budging. I am hoping and praying that I am FINALLY going to start seeing some results from my hard work soon!!! I am also really working on FEELING what I need to feel to heal my emotional connection with food. In my last post, I think I wrote about a phone consultation I signed up for regarding emotional eating. Well, one of Marna Thall's coaching associates called me on Friday and we talked for about 45 minutes. She wanted me to sign up for a 6 month coaching program regarding the COURAGE to FACE and HEAL my emotional eating..... once and for all. She said that, as I do the work, the weight loss would become a SIDE EFFECT. Wow, imagine weight loss being a side effect of INNER work!!! I was so excited about it, but due to the high cost, my hubby deemed it a "scam" and was not on board at all. I was upset, but I can see why he thinks it is a scam. However, I do believe the coaching would really help me. Instead of subscribing to their EXPENSIVE program, I am going to aim to do the work on my own that the coach I spoke with outlined in our phone conversation. It will be harder this way, but I just KNOW I am on the right path now. I feel like I am really on the verge of a BIG breakthrough, but there is still a lot of INNER WORK to do to heal my life woundings and relationship with food. I will NOT be deterred and I will NOT give up this fight for my physical and emotional health!!! I am FINALLY starting to believe (in my heart; know it in my head) that I am definitely WORTH it!!! So excited to do the hard work ahead and finally see the results that I have been hoping and praying for for a very long time! Thanks be to God and His guidance for leading me to this place!!! I trusted that this day would come, but I admit that I was beginning to doubt it. So my point here is DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELVES..... EVER!!! I was in a DARK tunnel of pain and despair FOR YEARS and couldn't see the light on the other side. I trusted it was there, but I also doubted at times if it really existed for me. Well, I am here to tell you that THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE DARK TUNNEL OF DEPRESSION and that life on the other side can be WONDERFUL!!! DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE!!! If I can do it, so can YOU!!!
I am having a quiet night at home. Earlier today, I went to my crochet/knitting Christmas party. It was so fun and the food was delicious. I went back 3 times to fill my plate. I had a great time. Wish we could have had time to crochet but we didn't.
Jennifer is at the Williams' Christmas party tonight. It is always a good time for her. She comes home with a million stories, the Williams side of the family is very outgoing.
I got my client's Christmas present taped up. I asked an online friend of mine to send me some Nascar items, he works in the Nascar field, and he did. I received some Nascar shirts, a hoodie and several hats, all were Martin Truex Jr and Kurt Busch. They are Nascar drivers, whom my friend works for. I hope my client likes them, he should because he loves Nascar.
Kathleen, hugs for you, sweetie. Hang in there. We all love you so much and are pulling for you.
Fi, your collages are just so imaginative and fun!
Kathleen - I am sorry the idea of the program was nixed, when it it so important to you BUT I can feel your enthusiasm and I know you can do it on your own!! especially with the help you already got..I am optimistic also for you about the meds helping! and oh my gosh the way you described the dark tunnel was so right, that is a period of time that I just don't know how we get through it but when we do , life is good !! we are here to support you !
Lisa, aren't parties with friends AND delicious food good I'm so glad Jennifer is with you for a while. We don't have a tree yet, I have to make space in our tiny living room. About crocheting, if you ever buy yarn online, my husband does the marketing/web development/online sales for dbny.com, do you buy from there?
I have been sampling my CHristmas cookies too much! I always do! ugh the curse of being a pastry baker with little self-control
Even though I intensely dislike winter, the snow is friggin gorgeous. I'll get a picture. It is the clingy snow...clinging to every single tiny twig. And it has lasted for days which is an unusual phenomenon. Usually clingy snow is right after a storm then drops or blows off. Unfortunately it has created power loss for thousands around here but not us. THis snow arrived on TUesday and has been clingy since then! if I don't have a pic here in this post, I'll do one this morning, before work.
Work - ugh. I had over 200 customers come though my register yesterday, it is just so tiring speaking nicely to each one
OH yeah forgot to mention we went to a Christmas party last night, the home of our former Pres. of United Motorcyclists, so a bunch of our motorcycling friends were there, among others we don't know. BUt someone mentioned our upcoming Harley Raffle, and "something something when the President says the winning number' and a man I don't know said, 'who's the President of UMV?' and others pointed to me ,and I raised my hand and said "I am", and he just looked and me and didn't say anything... Maybe seeing a woman with blonde highlights, snug low-cut black top and glitter made him think I couldnt be President of a motorcycling organization...hey mister, it's 2014
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
I don't have much to say except that I went down to -3 last night on my mood scale, and down to -4 depression pain this morning. I had a lot of negative thoughts of the "I'm a horrible person" variety, but tried to ignore them. I'm at -1 right now, thanks to taking extra Geodon. My goal is to take less Geodon, not more. =sigh= Maybe I need to be doing my Qigong practice more often.
All my collages these days feature either abstracts, animals, or both. My latest is called "monster matinee". (Don't worry, horror-phobes: it's not very scary, just silly/funny.)
Well, regarding the program I talked about in my last post that was super expensive but (I am almost positive) what I really need in my weight loss journey right now....... You know, the one that hubby says is a "scam".......... Well, after talking to my therapist about it this morning at length, I have decided to JUST DO IT!!! She, too, thinks it is "absolutely" too expensive but that "the program and techniques they said they will use are valid." I talked to the lady I will be working with, Coach Judy, over the phone a bit more about the program. Then, I talked to hubby again. He said he does not want to be involved and he thinks I am getting scammed, but that I should "do what I want." Well............... at first I thought, "No, I don't want to do this without his blessing." Then, I talked to myself (yes, out loud) in the car about what was holding me back from doing it (other than hubby), and I came to the conclusion that FEAR is what is holding me back. All kinds of fear from many sources, but mainly from within myself. After much thought and prayer, I finally concluded, "Screw it! (pardon my candor) I am sick and tired of being AFRAID of everything. I know what's best for me and I really feel I need this program to address the whole emotional side of overeating. I am doing it!!!" So I spoke with Coach Judy early this evening and I signed up! I am scared to death of facing all of the emotional stuff, but I am more scared of never losing the weight and never feeling comfortable in my own skin again (or perhaps for the first time in my life)! I have a TON of anxiety surfacing in my stomach, but I just keep deep breathing and trusting myself that I am doing the right thing. For the first time in a long time, I am trusting myself (over others I care about) that I know what is best for me! That in itself is PROGRESS!!! The group begins January 15th and goes for 6 months. I cannot wait!!! She already sent me some reading material and other valuable information to use while I wait for the group to officially begin. Anyway, I wanted to share this good news with all of you, my weight loss support buddies!
Oh, and by the way, my daughter FINALLY went back to school today (after being out sick for the past 2 weeks)! Thank you Lisa and Holly for wishing her well. She is not 100% but definitely on the mend! Thank God! This is semester finals week, but they are going to let her wait to take her finals until after the Christmas break. She is very relieved about that. Her guidance counselor has been wonderful and keeps in very close contact with her throughout the day. She is also going to help set up a schedule for making up her finals. She has been a Godsend!
Hope everyone is doing well! I know it is a busy time of year, but it has been awfully QUIET around here this month!
Fi: So sorry to hear that you are experiencing a lot of depression pain recently. I absolutely HATE those negative thoughts!!! I hope you successfully ignored them and didn't let them sink in to your psyche! You are NOT a horrible person!!! Take good care!
hi all
i stayed home today, took a day off work..actually planned to clean my house but ended up staying in bed all day
no cleaning has been done, i haven't took a shower as well
i keep comparing my life to people who had it better (better houses,cars,bigger salary etc) and feel that i'm a failure
christmas is coming soon and i have to plan family christmas dinner..it feels quite overwhelming
lira: to the group! Sorry you are feeling so down on yourself. I would recommend that you avoid comparing your life to others if at all possible. No matter who you are and what you have, there is ALWAYS someone who has it better, and that only sets you up to feel like a failure. It sounds like it would be good for you to maybe list those things you DO have that you are thankful for or to list your successes ~ small and large. They say that we attract more of what we focus on, so if you are focusing on the negative, it is likely that you will attract more negative into your life. IF YOU CAN, take some time to focus on and write down ANY positives in your life and about yourself that you can think of. Be grateful for those things and proud of those things. It can really help to change your perspective! The holidays are stressful on many people. Everything can feel overwhelming. Do your best to take ONE thing and ONE day at a time. We are here for you. Post whenever you want or need to. We are listening and will be cheering you on!
Lisa: Oh no!!! I am so sorry to hear that you have bronchitis!!! You can't seem to catch a break lately. Glad you have antibiotics and an inhaler. Hope you feel better real soon!!!
Fi
I was upset, but I can see why he thinks it is a scam. However, I do believe the coaching would really help me. Instead of subscribing to their EXPENSIVE program, I am going to aim to do the work on my own that the coach I spoke with outlined in our phone conversation. It will be harder this way, but I just KNOW I am on the right path now. I feel like I am really on the verge of a BIG breakthrough, but there is still a lot of INNER WORK to do to heal my life woundings and relationship with food. I will NOT be deterred and I will NOT give up this fight for my physical and emotional health!!! I am FINALLY starting to believe (in my heart; know it in my head) that I am definitely WORTH it!!! 
So excited to do the hard work ahead and finally see the results that I have been hoping and praying for for a very long time! 
I'm so glad Jennifer is with you for a while. We don't have a tree yet, I have to make space in our tiny living room. About crocheting, if you ever buy yarn online, my husband does the marketing/web development/online sales for dbny.com, do you buy from there? 
Taking a Leap of Faith!
to the group! Sorry you are feeling so down on yourself. I would recommend that you avoid comparing your life to others if at all possible. No matter who you are and what you have, there is ALWAYS someone who has it better, and that only sets you up to feel like a failure. It sounds like it would be good for you to maybe list those things you DO have that you are thankful for or to list your successes ~ small and large. They say that we attract more of what we focus on, so if you are focusing on the negative, it is likely that you will attract more negative into your life. IF YOU CAN, take some time to focus on and write down ANY positives in your life and about yourself that you can think of. Be grateful for those things and proud of those things. It can really help to change your perspective! The holidays are stressful on many people. Everything can feel overwhelming. Do your best to take ONE thing and ONE day at a time. We are here for you. Post whenever you want or need to. We are listening and will be cheering you on! 
