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Old 07-25-2014, 01:31 AM   #1  
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Maybe someone else will understand? My hubby views differently and I'm not saying he's wrong, just saying that I'm a mom and to me that says it all. Here's the story:
My 14 (15 next month) is with his grandparents for the summer. Happy? Yes sad? Yes. Me I mean. We live in England and grandparents are back in the states. We ( us here're, them there) have planned for our son to stay the summer in the states for school summer vacation. My DS very excited and we were too. We brought him to the airport last Sunday and he flew alone. ( unaccompanied minor with flight attendant chaperone) all very safe and secure. Security at the maximin. Flight went well and now over there. We are to fly in mid august to meet up with and stay 2 weeks and all of us to return together in time for school to start up again.

DS so excited and made a list of things to do and see ( we've been here for 3 yrs and is first time going back. ) I went back 5 months ago as an emergency situation with my mom falling seriously ill on life support. We didn't a
L go then just me but were prepared to have DH. And DS fly because was a real possibility mom was going to die) fast forward, mom home still not back to normal activity. DS staying with dad and stepmom whom I adore and are very good with him and kids in general. ( sorry so long but needed to give the full story so you can understand. …

Thing is… I've never been this long without my boy. My hubby is second marriage and this is first time together without kids. ( in case you are wondering were DS father is he passed away 2009) my hubby is relaxed and happy. Not that he isn't with kids in the house, but with no kids I think that is decreasing stress. Don't get me wron, I'm happy too and some days I feel guilty about it. Kids are stressful no matter the age. AND. Kids are wonderful too. I've been my sons sole carer since beginning of time. It's kinda all I know? And now it's just about me? I'm told to relax and enjoy it but I'm having a hard time with it. He is in excellent hands and I know that. But I feel like I abandoned him in some way. I don't have a depressive disorder , sometime I can have anxious feelings during normal times but that is a different story. It's so weird he's not here. I'm just counting the days to when I can see him. Yet I know it will be stressful back to school,work,homework, teenage mood etc.

Has anyone else been through this? How did you cope? We're you happy ? Sad? How many other kids get to do this and my DS is excited. But I miss him terribly
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Old 07-25-2014, 08:31 AM   #2  
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I think you are having a perfectly MOM reaction. Your son isn't just gone for a week or two at camp, he is across the ocean. Plus he was excited and made plans and you see that your child is feeling ready for the extended separation from mom and dad. That is normalfor your son and normal for you to feel all at once apprehensive but proud. Your husband probably isn't as nervous or apprehensive because he went through natural separation and knows that he still loves his family, that he turned out just fine, and knows instinctively that your son will as well.

I think that it is hard for some mothers to turn off their MOM radars. Even leaving my children with family for a few hours the entire time I am gone if I am not worried about them then I am making plans for them, pondering issues they might be having, planning their meals, planning for school...sounds like you are doing the same. Also he is nearly 15. It won't be long before he leaves home to be his own man. And I am sure you are feeling the weight of that as well.

It is hard to forget about it and relax. I would say first and foremost, keep busy, it'll leave you less time to think. When you are feeling especially tense journaling can help. Maybe write some notes to your son but don't send them. Instead date them and save them for the day that he goes to college or gets married or has a new baby. What would feel like you being overbearing now will feel sweet and loving when he is older.

I hope your son has a great time and that you manage a few hours of contentment. *hugs*
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Old 07-26-2014, 12:13 AM   #3  
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you sound VERY normal.... just keep repeating to yourself: he's in great hands. you will see him soon. this is all part of growing up. going overseas is A BIG TRIP for any teenager, but he's done a great job with it. Keep in touch with email and skype.

and go schedule a manicure, pedicure and a special date or two with your husband. breathe.
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Old 07-26-2014, 02:56 AM   #4  
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Thank you it is hard. We are planning some days together,DH and I. He having a blast and with the time difference it's hard to catch up with him. We may be sky ping Sunday if time allows. Moving out! Yup that senerio has played in my head. So close to being grown up , yet still my "baby" :rollseyes:
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