[Xbat]

I'm new here. I feel like this is a final cry before I fall/jump off the cliff and just give up on losing weight all together and forever. I have lost before, but then it seems once I am almost able to get stable weight wise something horrible happens in my life and I gain it all back. I'm almost 50 and it just gets harder and harder every time. I am in perimenopause and working out sets off unbearable hot flashes. My metabolism is already damaged from years of dieting.

I have depression & anxiety as well as other issues.

I used to be a dancer & an art model. I just wonder if it's even worth losing weight because I will never be that beautiful again. I'm old and even if I lose my skin will be saggy & gross like last time.

Calorie & points counting just makes me obsessive and miserable. Atkins makes me ill and makes my joints hurt. Eating too many veggies without a lot of protein & fat sets off my IBS. I have tried so many diets. I just don't know what to do. I'm at the end of my rope.

I'm 5'2", 175 pounds and should be 125 though I'd settle for 140 I think since most of my 30's-early 40's clothes fit at about 140. Already got rid of all my 20's clothes, no way I'd ever get back into those anyway.

[Novus]

Losing weight (and being healthier) is totally possible. You just have to figure out what works for you.

I would suggest you consult a doctor about how to create a weight loss plan that is best for you based on your age, medical issues, etc. Hire a personal trainer to figure out how to exercise while coping with hot flashes. And maybe spend some time in therapy to deal with your depression and self-image problems and to learn some skills for dealing with stress.

Best of luck to you.

[2salads]

I am sorry you are going through this. Because I have my own issues I always feel unqualified to give advice. That being said sometimes helping other people helps me so I hope you don't find me too hypocritical.

It seems to me that you are very much focused on your youth. It seems like so many of us hit this place where we don't know what we've got til it's gone and then ignore the not so pleasant parts of our past. And you did have unpleasant parts in your past that made you gain and lose weight many times, as you have admitted yourself.

It's important to remember that what we did in our youth effects or now and what we do now effects our future. You still have many wonderful years ahead. Why contaminate them with unnecessary mental leftovers from your youth?

I am in my late thirties and I can tell you that my youth was not pleasant despite the fact that I was not fat. I never had weight issues until my mother's death in my mid twenties. I never yo yo dieted either. But I can tell you that I do not want to fight getting older. I want my middle and elder years to be the most fun an active ever. I think you want that, too. But since you feel like you cannot attain that goal you are focusing too much on your past.

Your body is in a rage right now due to hormones. I would agree with a nutritionist consult. I also agree with a food journal if only to assess how you feel after eating certain foods. Some foods will make you "crash" some foods are to "heavy" some give you gas. But they all have alternatives! I like smoothies because they are easier to digest and packed with nutrients and can be very filling. This morning I had a fat free vanilla yogurt, frozen blueberry, baby spinach, skim milk and oats smoothie. Very filling and easy on my stomach. However it had the calories of a full meal so I had to watch my dinner.

About those hot flashes, haven't had those yet, but my sister-in-law (who is awe-some!) Tells me that she battled hot flashes and exercise with swimming and water arobics. She is lucky to live on a lake to make that easier, but she also took classes. The coolness of the water was easier on her joints and helped to keep the hot flashes at bay. Unless you enjoy intense gym workouts the main component, from my understanding is a symbiosis of diet and movement. I do Zumba on the Wii and Wii fit as well as walking. If I have eaten healthy the exercise begins to feel good.

I do hope you feel better soon! *hugs*

[hannahbeanies]

Xbat,

Welcome dear. I do not want to give you advice, as it seems you have gotten some good suggestions already. I just want you to know that depression can be such a hopeless feeling, speaking from experience. Even the health of my body isn't worth the effort. However, sometimes it helps me to "act as if". If I act as if my body is worth the effort, at some point my thoughts begin to match my behaviors, so to speak. I guess that may have been advice. :P

We are all here to support you and show you that you are not alone. Keep coming back! Reach out to people! We are here for you.

[summertime03]

*hugs* Maybe you should just focus on doing things that make you feel better and beautiful instead of solely on weight loss. I like to paint my toenails or give myself a facial... stuff like that.

Counting calories can get very tedious.. but you can make 1 healthy change at a time and before you know it you will be feeling better. Do it slowly and ease into it and you will get where you want to go.

[FleurDeLis]

Please don't give up! You can do this as many have said, you just need to find what works for you.

I would suggest watching your portions first. Get an idea of correct portions. Make sure you're getting veggies and protein. If you want you can journal your food for a week or two and you might see something you could easily cut out or dramatically cut down like a soda habit or junk food.

Start with small changes and before you know it,you'll be a healthy eater and see the pounds slowly go away.

[novangel]

Hi.

Is there anything you can take to help with hot flashes? Maybe ask a doctor or friends, there has to be something. I'm pretty sure those go away in time.

I understand your frustration about getting older. I'm not quite there yet but I'm getting there.

[freelancemomma]

Originally Posted by Xbat

I used to be a dancer & an art model. I just wonder if it's even worth losing weight because I will never be that beautiful again. I'm old and even if I lose my skin will be saggy & gross like last time.

Hey, I'm 57 and still feel attractive! Even if I'm delusional (my kids appear to think so), who cares? You can totally rock a clothed or naked body at 50 or over. Perhaps you can start by questioning your negative assumptions and move up from there.

F.

[NaughtyNibbler]

XBAT:

A lot of people have offered some great advice and support. I hope you come back to this thread.

I like the advise that was given by someone else earlier: "Act as if" I'm familiar with an expanded version - "Act as if and the feelings will follow".

You don't need a trendy diet to get to your goals. It is all about calories in versus calories out and finding low calorie foods that you like and can live with. I hate to count calories too, but it can be helpful. If you become very familiar with the calorie content of the things you eat, you can get pretty close to knowing your calorie range without writing every thing down.

Getting enough fiber in your diet can help with IBS. I have ulcerative colitis. Getting adequate fiber was advise from a GI doctor that seems to help.

You might talk to your doctor about some HRT. All the hype about it being bad for us ladies is turning the other way. I didn't use it, but wish I had.

I've had hot flashes for over 10 years and still get them after I hit menopause. They are more infrequent now, but certain things tend to set them off and there is a tendency to have periods of time when I think I've gotten rid of them, only to have them return.