I think my bipolar is depressive right now and I have a history of anorexia...
I'm depressed. Last week I was stable. I also thought my lowest weight was too skinny... Now I think I was too big... I made myself throw up yesterday... It scared my dad. Help? How do I keep myself on the right track to a healthy weight?
You are in a difficult place, it sounds as if your mood fluctuations are impacting heavily. You may be best seeing your treating team if you have one (doctor included) and making sure that you are on the right dosage/ treatment at the moment.
You need to have clear plans made when your mood is stable and that hold up to scrutiny of the people around you that you trust and for you this might include setting targets and eating habits during periods of time when you are stable, you will be aware that making decisions when elevated is not good and this is where your trusted people should be helping you, encouraging the stable behaviours and helping you delay on grand plans for a while.
In the depressed state it is harder, but a constant reminder that you are filtering your responses through a biological process rather than attributing the mood to things in the environment is essential. Otherwise the negative thinking combines with the physical depression and make the world a dark place indeed.
I have Bipolar also and I find it can be a struggle, but it helps me to stay in the moment. As a driving instructor said to me many years ago, 'keep your eyes on what's in front of you.' Try to not overwhelm yourself with worries of many days away, focus on the here and now. Bipolar is tricky because of the fluctuations, what coping techniques are you using? Are you seeing a therapist or do you have anyone prescribing meds to help?
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