Quote:
Originally Posted by berryblondeboys
OK... I really think you need to talk to a counselor about this. And I'm saying that in the most loving way I can and I hope you realize that counselors are YOUR FRIEND.
My back story is basically I was a chubby child for a few years, then I started to skip meals at age 11 and didn't stop until I got pregnant at 25. I expressed to my doctor that I was very concerned about my weight gain while pregnant, and I saw a pregnancy therapist who referred me elsewhere because she said my issues were obviously triggered by pregnancy, but had been longstanding. So, I started therapy, I blind weighed throughout my pregnancy, I was diagnosed with an ED-NOS, and I gained 80lbs. That is a LOT for me. I lost the weight in one year, but continued therapy for a total of three years.
When she opened a new practice that was quite a distance from me, I asked if she was going to refer me elsewhere. She felt that I had worked through most of my issues since we saw each other weekly and basically I would just tell her how happy I was for my session for the entire last year that I saw her.
A few years later I decided that I needed to address my eating again and to lose the 10lbs that I'm still trying to lose, so I saw a nutritional therapist/RD who deals with eating disorders. She blind weighed me and put me on a 1400 calorie/day "refeeding" program and in no time I had gained almost 15lbs making me officially "overweight" according to BMI charts. I had an OB/GYN who I told that I wouldn't like to discuss weight due to working with a specialist, and she proceeded to tell me I was obese (with a 26 BMI) and gave me a calorie-counting brochure. After nine months of work, I never went back to nutritional therapy again.
I love going to see a therapist. It makes me feel good, but they're not standing getting dressed with me in the morning. Half the time I feel like I just need a fashion consultant. So, is it worth it to go to therapy even if I don't make any progress in this arena? For over 20 years I've been battling this same issue and I'm basically swimming in circles. I hide my insecurities very well in real life, and only those closest to me know about it. My favorite thing to say is "I don't do summer" when people comment (and they always do) on my clothing.
I don't think I'm fat like I did when I was a kid - I just have a body type that makes certain clothing less attractive on me. I don't know how to accept it and that makes me feel like I'm just giving up because weight loss isn't happening.
The beautiful clothes show off parts of my body that I would prefer to keep covered. Maybe I'll try breathable clothes instead of just wearing my winter wardrobe and feeling like I'm going to pass out.
I just needed to get this off of my chest. I'm really struggling.