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Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

Ups & Downs Support Group: May 2014

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Old 05-12-2014, 03:49 PM   #76
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Unhappy Oh no!

Trish: So sorry that you get the feeling that your mom doesn't want you there. That is so sad and depressing. No wonder you want the vacation to be over. From the sounds of things, it is a good thing you WON'T be moving closer to her. It sounds like she is messing with your mind. I would know, because my mom does the same stuff at times. I really and truly don't understand it. I am just sorry that you have to go through this. I am sending you big hugs and lots of love! This was NOT a wasted trip, however, because you found out some valuable information: Your mom is toxic to your emotions and well-being. I would keep my distance as much as possible! You deserve to be treated MUCH BETTER!!!

worththeeffort2: Thanks so much for checking in depsite feeling so down. I am sorry that the depression remains. You are doing so well with your workouts. Does that help at all??? I am sending you big hugs too!!!

Fi: Sorry to hear that you had such a miserable day yesterday! Your depression pain sounds awful! I hope it subsides soon. Hang in there!

Amy: Hello and thanks for checking in. Hope you are getting closer to ready for your big move!
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Old 05-12-2014, 03:56 PM   #77
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Sorry about my morose posting earlier. I just got back from the post office, where I sent Ignace's 60th birthday prez on its way to Belgium. If she had not cancelled her plans to come visit me, she and I would be together at the beach right now. =sad face= But then she would've missed out on getting to meet the kittens, so maybe it's just as well.

I'm declaring today a melancholy day, which is a distinct improvement over yesterday's very depressed day. And I'm taking another day off from the BERP, since yesterday didn't really count as a day off. We have rain clouds here in Maryland, which is kind of nice, actually, because it suits my mood. And yet rain in this area is so wimpy, it always makes me homesick for the serious tropical-monsoon-like rains of Houston.

Trish— I'm sorry to hear that things with your mother are turning so sour! I don't get along with my mother either, and she used to do the same thing as it sounds like yours does—buy me stuff instead of loving me. I hope you'll get your balance back when you return from Florida.

Amy— I forgot to say this: Snickers is really cute, and the two of you together are even cuter! I'm so glad you have a pal like that. I'm looking forward to having a couple of furry pals of my own, when late July comes 'round.

Kathleen— Thanks for the vote of support re. the BERP. They spread straw over the raw muddy mess the workers made of the lawn overlapping ours and our neighbor's, and the trucks & tractors have stopped showing up, so I think the landscaping work is over, thank God. Now it's quiet enough that the loudest thing I hear is the sound of birds chirping—yay! That's too bad you have to return to housework. Oh well...you and me both!

worththeeffort2— Are you sure I can't talk you into giving us a name to call you? How 'bout your middle name, or a name you happen to like?
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Old 05-12-2014, 06:52 PM   #78
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Hi there,

Lil turtle,

I am sorry that you are so upset. I personally love the pool but that's because I am an avid swimmer. It helps me to get lost so to speak in concentrating on my breathing and swimming. Personally I find it very therapeutic. Hugs.

Believe,

Thank you, yes I am getting ready for the move but I still have a bit to go. I have just under a month to go!


Fi,

Thank you, I love little Snickers! I got his new carrier in the mail today. It's very cute and I love it, I think it's adorable! We may go for a walk tonight if it cools off, it's muggy here. How are you? What type of pet are you going to get?

Take care,

Amy
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Old 05-12-2014, 09:09 PM   #79
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Hello friends!

Trish - Oh that is so sad I'm so sorry the visit has turned sour. I don't understand how a mom could play games with her daughter like that but the end result is your are miserable and that sux! to you.

Fi - I meant to comment about Ignace before; and then I meant to commiserate about the infuriating *beep*beep*beep* of the landscapers ...but now I need to say how awful about your day of depression pain..I'm glad it has downscaled a bit to 'melancholy' ...now I hope it downscales more to 'good'

worththeeffort2 - I am so very sorry that you are still very down it is awful isn't it. I think the longer workouts are a marvelous idea, even if you don't feel it now, it is doing good for you. Focusing on actions is good...gives you a tiny sense of control I think. Please know we are pulling for you and wish we could do more

Amy - did you take Snickers for a walk? do you have a leash or harness for the little guy? I hope it cooled off , for both of you

Kathleen - How did you do with your eating today? (just being a good nagging friend ) Does your son know which college he wants to attend after senior graduation?

Hello to everyone else!

so...I would love to be able to just type here, what I make at work each day. Because no one else asks, everyone always wants to talk about their job, not ask 'so what did you do today'. So I would love to be able to tell you all
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Last edited by VermontMom : 05-12-2014 at 09:46 PM.
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Old 05-12-2014, 10:32 PM   #80
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Hi Holly,

How are you? I was going to take him for a walk but it was very hot here today for spring, about 85 degrees and it hadn't cooled down to 75 yet, guinea pigs are very sensitive to the heat and 65-75 degrees is an optimal temperature for most guinea pigs, I think that maybe tomorrow will be better.

I hope all is well with you, take care.

Amy
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Old 05-13-2014, 10:39 AM   #81
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Hi Everyone!

Sorry to drop off the map...I don't get on the internet much at home, and I've been really busy when I'm at work.

Mother's Day was hard. I've mentioned before how my mom never contacts me unless she wants something? Well, she posted on FB (which we are friends on, so she knows I saw it) that Mother's Day is so hard and lonely for her. Well, maybe she should make some effort to maintain a relationship with her kids. As she lives 12 hours away, when she comes to pick up the kids for summer or xmas vacation she always stays with me, and I'm expecting a call any day now about when she is coming for summer...a mean part of me wants to go out of town the days she will be here so she is forced to make other arrangements and can't just keep taking me for granted. The way over communicator part of me wants to write her a huge letter explaining how much it hurts that she treats me this way. And the lazy part wants to just pretend nothing is happening. Unfortunately lazy usually wins.

On a good note, I did get to visit my (maternal) grandmother, and she adores me and thinks I'm the most wonderful person in the word next to my dad.
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Old 05-13-2014, 12:04 PM   #82
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Thanks everyone for all the thoughts and prayers. Sorry I've been a bit absent the past few days. I've been busy with work and working out and then Mother's Day snuck up on me.. :/ I cleaned house like mad on Saturday to stay busy and then didn't do much on Sunday.

My husbands surgery went well and he is recovering well. He's not swollen anymore, but is still eating softish foods.

Mother's Day was pretty difficult. I had a really bad headache and didn't much want to talk. When I returned to work on Monday someone asked me how my Mother's Day was... :/ I just felt it was so insensitive.. So that was rough. But we're moving right along.

I have a phone interview for a job really similar to mine only I wouldn't have to deal with shelter residents. Instead I would be working the phone only, which I believe could be a good thing for me. Still involved in human services which will help me once I get my degree but also somewhat distanced from children.

I apologize for not addressing everyone individually. I'll try my best to stay up to date with everyone and make a daily post. Back to work for now!
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Old 05-13-2014, 01:09 PM   #83
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Thanks for understanding. I know I shouldd be grateful. I complain a lot. I just feel trapped. Friday feels so long off. I'm not sure how to deal with all this. I don't have the coping skills.
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Old 05-13-2014, 03:41 PM   #84
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Hey lilturtle, I'm sorry the trip hasn't gone well. You're not complaining. We are all here to listen to each others difficulties. It's a safe place to let go of what is bothering us. We can't keep this stuff to ourselves, it just makes things harder.

Have you talked to your mom about how you feel, do you think that's an option?
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Old 05-13-2014, 04:52 PM   #85
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Well, yesterday turned out to be another day lost to depression pain. I went from melancholy to acutely miserable not long after I posted. Bob helped me by encouraging me to go upstairs and get in bed, so he could spoon around me and hold me. It was hard to move when I was hurting so bad, but Bob's idea was a good one: I actually fell asleep with his arm around me, and slept through the whole evening and night.

And I've got some good news: I analysed the progression of my mood decline over the week and into the weekend, and I realized that it might be due to my having cut in half the daily dose of one of my medications. I did it because my shrink wants me off that particular drug, and I did it gradually over the course of a month. But all the same, maybe now, with all the BERP pressure, is not a good time to be doing that. So starting with yesterday's dose, I went back up to what I was taking before. And guess what?! I feel much better today, like my normal chipper self again—even in the middle of the afternoon, which is always my worst time of day. I'm so relieved, I just can't tell you!

I see my shrink tomorrow. I'll show him my mood chart so he can see what happened when I cut that medication by 50%. Maybe after the BERP is over and the kittens have arrived & settled in, I could try weaning myself off that med... but much more slowly next time!

Thanks, y'all, for the kind words and the support. It means a lot to me to know that such terrific people are listening. I don't have the energy to make personal comments today, but worththeeffort2, I want you to know that I am listening to you and thinking about you, every day.
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Current mini-goal: Get down to 260
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••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Mini-goal 1: 30 days binge-free —> done 12/21/13 & binge-free now
Mini-goal 2: Get down to 280 —> done 5/22/14
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Old 05-13-2014, 07:02 PM   #86
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Hi there,

I hope that everyone is having a good day. The temperature here feels nice and cool, probably in the 70s, a refreshing change from yesterday being so muggy.

I'm going to take my guinea pig to the vet tomorrow, I think he has an eye infection I'll be changing vets once I move.

Volunteering went well today, I have 196 hours! Next week will be 200 hours, wow! I am excited to be receiving another 100 hour pin. I will truly miss all of my co-workers, they are so upbeat and positive. I volunteer at an absolutely wonderful hospital, I will miss it a lot but I think I may volunteer at an another hospital after my ankle surgery.

I'm seriously considering Lap-Band, I posted about it in my thread on the WLS forum. I think it could help me tremendously.

Have a great night!

Amy and Snick

Fi- what is BERP? How are you? Take care!

Hi to everyone else!
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Old 05-13-2014, 10:20 PM   #87
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Lilturtle: I am very sorry to learn that your vacation has not turned out to be a happy one. At least you have your answer about whether or not to move. You can put that concern out of your mind. In the meantime, do what you can to get some exercise and sunshine as it might help your mood. You can also do what I do when I'm swimming laps all by myself. I talk to the ladies here in my head.

MonteCristo: Sorry that you had a difficult Mother's Day. At least you had a nice visit with your grandmother.

Fleur: I'm glad to hear that your husband's surgery went smoothly and that he's healing. Good luck with the phone interview. Keeping my fingers crossed that it goes really well for you.

Seabiscuit: I think it's wonderful that you've earned that much time volunteering. I'm sure they value your contribution very much.

Our local hospital has quite a significant bariatric surgery program. I sat in on a number of sessions to learn about the procedure and listen to patients who had the procedure done. The loudest message I took away was that if you don't have control over your mental and emotional relationship to food, the tool of bariatric surgery won't work in the long run. That's why I decided to give the medically supervised dietary program a shot first. It is giving me time to deal with my dysfunctional relationship with food. If I'm unable to maintain my weight loss following this program, I'll probably reconsider having surgery for a sleeve gastrectomy.

Fiona: I'm glad you figured out the cause of the decline in your mood. Cutting medication by 50% for the first taper does seem pretty aggressive. I hope your doctor is willing to work with you to go slower next time.

I've been giving your request for a name a lot of consideration. I spent a lot of time coming up with my screen name and like it because it took me a long time to come to the conclusion that I am, indeed, worth the effort to take care of myself and my health. In keeping with that theme, I've decided on the name Amanda, if it would please you to have a first name for me. I settled on Amanda because it means "worthy of love." I am still working on learning that I am worthy of loving myself and worthy of receiving love from others. But I'll answer to Worthy, too.

Having the sun come out for the last couple of days has helped my mood a little. I was even able to get outside for a walk at lunch time today. Tonight, I'm prepping for a colonoscopy tomorrow. As some of you may already know, it isn't much fun. I probably won't get much sleep tonight but I'm hoping that I can sleep most of tomorrow, once the procedure is over.

Oh, and I'm totally weighing myself when I get out of bed in the morning to seek how much I've lost through the, um, elimination process.

Blessings be on everyone.
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Old 05-13-2014, 10:51 PM   #88
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good evening ladies!

Worthy - I like that! very glad the sun came out for you to enjoy for a walk. I've not had the procedure you've got to do..but heard the required fluids are ugh. best wishes for that!! and enjoy the lower number on the scale tomorrow morning.

Amy/Seabiscuit - glad it cooled off for you. We're waiting for it to warm up, lol. I'm sorry to hear about Snick's eye infection, best wishes for that. I read about your queries on the lap band on the other thread, big decision. I don't know what to say except I hope you find an answer that is good for you. and congrats on SO many volunteering hours!

Fi - really sorry that you had to suffer a day of depression pain..ugh. Very nice your guy could physically comfort you to fall asleep. Yes, weaning off the med sounds more do-able than a strict 50 percent cut.

lilturtle - - really sorry things are the way they are with your mother hand in there!

Fleur - I was thinking of you on Sunday! Was it last weekend you went to a retreat? Hey that co-worker was an insensitve lunk for asking about your Mother's Day. I hope the phone interview progresses to an actual one

Monte Cristo - I smiled so much at your comment of your grandmother who adores you! as she should! that is how grandmothers should be!! real sorry about your mom's actions, she is being so disrespectful to you and that is so not right. On a total unrelated topic, are your garden plants 'taking hold' well?

Hi to Ohio - are you okay??
Hi to Kathleen!
Hi to Chelsea
Hi to projectjudi
and 1life2liv, and Hope!

I will be staying at my work overnight for the next 3 nights, through Saturday. I'll be working in the kitchen during the days, and working in the Dining Room at night, at it is 23 miles away, so it just makes sense. And it makes money for me Oh! this is what I made today...100 servings of Lemon Bavarian Cheesecake (layer of lemon cake; layer of bavarian cream; thin layer of tangy lemon curd on top) 60 servings of peanut butter oatmeal cookies with a peanut butter filling; 65 onion rolls for sandwiches tomorrow. Hope that doesn't drive anyone crazy

Oh and Internet is very spotty there (it's deep in the woods) so I might be out of touch during that time.
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Last edited by VermontMom : 05-14-2014 at 07:21 AM.
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Old 05-13-2014, 11:18 PM   #89
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Hi Holly,

It's great to hear from you! I appreciate your good wishes for Snickers, we're heading to the vet early tomorrow morning. I think he is feeling a bit more lively but his eye looks a bit watery and a bit larger than the other one, poor little guy. Yes, I agree that Lap-Band is a huge decision but I think it could work for me because I have heard a lot of success about it and I think that it may be something to help me out. I have tried so many diets, I get frustrated and I gain the weight back. I was doing MFP the other day but I get bored and frustrated. Anyways, thanks for the decision. Your pastries sound yummy, good for you! I love watching The Food Network, it inspires me to cook more. Have a great night!

Hi there to Ohio, Fi, Believe, Worth the effort, Monte Cristo and Fleur De Lis!


Take care and have a great night...

Amy
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Old 05-13-2014, 11:54 PM   #90
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Red face Tired!

Just checking in quickly before I go to bed. Not enough energy to address everyone personally. Sorry! Finally walked on treadmill today for 30 minutes. Food pretty good, but always room for improvement, it seems. Reading along, but just very tired tonight. Thinking of all of you, especially those who are really struggling. Will say a prayer for our group and each of you tonight! Hang in there, everyone!
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