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Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

Ups & Downs Support Group: May 2014

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Old 05-09-2014, 08:11 AM   #61
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Hi everyone,

Believe- thank you! I love this group, everyone here is so friendly. Sometimes I feel it's a bit overwhelming to reply to everyone, but I enjoy the group support, thanks!

Worth the effort- I love to swim too. I find it so relaxing and it is so good for my mind and body.

Have a great day everyone!

Amy
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:19 AM   #62
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I admire those of you who address everyone in your posts. I do read but it is so hard for me to pulll it all together. Please know I do care about all of you and you have my full support.

My mom mentioned me moving down here a couple of days ago. She had been opposed to the idea 2 years ago. I'm scared to bring it up again because I fear she may have changed her mind. I think I annoy my mom. I really need a change. I've lived in the same town almost all my life. The only time I didn't was when I was in college and even then it was only 45 minutes away. If I was closer to my mom I would probably get out more. I just have to build up the courage to bring the topic back up.
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Old 05-09-2014, 04:28 PM   #63
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Hugs to you, lilturtle. I'm sorry you're going through a lot right now.

I have had a rough day, I need ankle surgery again. I welcome any private messages for support.

Have a good day.

Amy
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Old 05-09-2014, 08:28 PM   #64
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Hi there,

I just want to say I appreciate all of the support here, I didn't mean to scare anyone off by mentioning that I need surgery. You are all very kind and special, and I enjoy this group a lot.

Take care, be well.

Amy
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Old 05-10-2014, 11:03 AM   #65
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I'm feeling quite down and alone these days. I have no one in my life with whom I can discuss the trials and tribulations of my weight loss journey face-to-face. My husband considers it whining. He's a typical male: 'just suck it up and do it and stop talking about it.' He doesn't understand that talking is the way a woman de-stresses.

My mother sent me a recipe for cookies in the mail yesterday. For her, weight loss is a competition and she better win and have all the attention during the process and as the final result. Unfortunately, because my husband is not a social person, my friendships have passed by the wayside and I find myself very much alone, sitting silently, and staring out the window a lot of the time.

People I know do come to me often, seeking input, advice, and help but those same people don't seem to be available when I need someone to talk to. Really, it's the story of my life. The past few days, I've felt a need to just talk with someone but there's no one to listen.

Talk about what? Well, my exercise routine, for one. I've been going to the gym for about six weeks now and I can't say that I'm loving it. Although I've tried very hard to be positive and express enthusiasm, I find the rowing machine and circuit training to be tedious and boring and I don't see much in the way of results, either. I did laps the other day and, upon leaving the pool to rinse off under the open shower before heading back to the locker room, I was suddenly struck by the fact that everyone could see my hideously scarred legs. I hadn't even thought of that before but suddenly I was overwhelmed by embarrassment and wanted to hide.

I feel like I've fallen into a rut with my exercise routine but I don't even have someone I can invite to do workouts or even go walking with me. I decided to resolve the issue by paying someone to talk to me. I scheduled a consultation with a fitness coach for next Monday--then he called me and rescheduled to May 20, instead. Lord, I can't even pay someone to talk to me when I need to.

I told folks here about my doing a spring cleaning to donate items to a fundraising yard sale for a former co-worker who is severely ill and needs help to raise money to cover medical costs. Do you know, it took a significant amount of effort to get someone to come pick up the stuff from me? I offered to drop the items off on someone's porch but the woman sponsoring the yard sale did not want me on her property if she wasn't home. I tried not to take it as an insult but it made me feel bad. It was all so very strange. Finally, a niece of the woman showed up on Friday to pick up the items from my car. She was sweet and said thank you and was appreciative of my efforts to help her auntie but I no long felt good about trying to help. As she looked in the bags and boxes she rattled off how this aunt would take this and such-and-such cousin would want that. Just take the stuff and go. Whatever.

I don't expect to be treated like a princess but it would be nice to be treated with some respect for a change. I can't even lose myself in a pint of Ben and Jerry's to salve my wounded pride and God help me, I don't want to get on that elliptical but I suppose I don't really have a choice if I'm going to continue to make progress despite every feeling to the contrary. I just have to keep working; keep going; keep pushing.

For me, it is a very down and lonely day.
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Old 05-10-2014, 12:56 PM   #66
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Red face Hang in there, Friends!

Amy: I just now saw your posts. Sorry that you had a rough day yesterday and need ankle surgery again. I had to have two foot surgeries on the same foot exactly a year apart (July 2012 and July 2013) and it certainly doesn't help with exercise and the weight loss journey! But I guess you gotta do what you gotta do, right?!? Try to focus on how you will feel once the surgery is over and you are healed. Hopefully, you will be much better off after the surgery. And THAT is a good thing! When do you think you will have the surgery?

worththeeffort2: Oh, how I feel for you with working out for an extended period of time and feeling like you aren't getting results. I so often feel that way, and it is sooooooooooooo frustrating!!! "They" say that we should work out because it is good for our health and not for results, but ~ come on ~ who doesn't want good results?!?! I am so very sorry that you have no one to talk to face-to-face about your loneliness and weight loss journey. Good for you for making an appointment with a fitness coach! That is a very POSITIVE step in the right direction! And if for some reason you don't like this coach, keep searching until you "click" with someone. Having the right person to coach you can make all the difference! I pay a shrink AND a personal trainer to talk about my weight loss and other issues. I don't feel like there is any shame in that. It is all a part of taking care of ourselves, as far as I am concerned. Please hang in there and post all you want about your loneliness and frustration. This too shall pass. Keep up the great work with exercise and watch your food intake and you will HAVE to see results soon! Try to be patient with yourself. You have been doing SO well. Frustrations are bound to come up. It's all part of the process of getting healthy. I am sending you a great big hug and I hope you can feel it through cyberspace!!!

Trish: We have also experienced patdowns at the airport...... lots of times, actually; even ~ and especially ~ my handicapped daughter, because she sometimes sets off the metal detectors with her leg braces. I hope you will get the courage up to talk to your mom again about moving to Florida. YOU CAN DO IT!!! You will be glad you did! I will be thinking of you and sending you strength!

Gotta run. We are at the lake and going out for lunch. I will check in later and try to address the rest of you. Hang in there, everyone! Group hug!
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Old 05-10-2014, 03:51 PM   #67
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Hi there...

Worth the effort,

I hear where you are coming from. Some people in my life are more emotionally supportive than others, that can be frustrating, I relate to what you're saying. Keep the faith and believe in yourself. I've been trying to make new friends, many who I will miss when I move but it's good to reach out to others. That's great that you're reaching out here. Hugs.

Believe,

Thank you for your kind words. I wish more people were supporting me in this surgery but I have to do what's right for me. I will probably have surgery in the end of August. I saw my friend today, she is very sweet and kind. She helped me through the first surgery. We laughed and joked and smiled. I was invited to a family function next weekend. I'd like to go but I'm not sure if I will or not.

Have fun at the lake!

Hugs,

Amy
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Old 05-10-2014, 09:43 PM   #68
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Not a stellar day for me, but not a total loss, either. After an intense morning session of clipping magazines at high speed—I really work up a sweat doing this!—I suddenly hit the wall. I got stressed out, spoke in an unecessarily querulous tone to my sweetheart, and from there quickly slid into depression pain. Not really severe, but bad enough that I had to take a couple Geodons and knock off for the afternoon, if not the rest of the day. 'Got up later to watch the qualifying round of Formula One in Barcelona with my fellow F1 fan, Bob. After that I took another long nap. I may just give up on today and go to bed early.

I need to assemble a birthday present for Ignace (formerly Robine—she's gone back to the name she was given at birth) (pronounced "eeg-NAHSS") for putting in the mail to Belgium. Surely I can slot that in tomorrow, my day off. My niece Margaret & her son Gavin won't be coming over tomorrow, because they're up at Bob's mom's farm, so it will be a nice long day of rest and activities not related to the BERP.

I have spoken to the father of Grace, my great-niece, and he thought my idea of paying her a little bit (minimum wage, 'cause she's only 13) to help me sort my clippings sounds most excellent. I'm waiting for a call back from Grace herself, but it's getting near the end of the school year, so no rush...

worththeeffort2— I hear you! Bob is more supportive of my weight loss effort than it sounds like your husband is, but he still doesn't "get it." Like the other day I mentioned that I was going to order a couple pairs of lightweight capri leggings for walking during the summer, and all he could do was grumble about how many clothes I have already. He hasn't even paid attention as I've relegated one pair of pants after another to the charity pile because they were literally falling off me. I think your talking to a fitness coach sounds like a great idea! Why don't you call the person back and ask them to let you know if they have a cancellation before the 20th? I'll be thinking about you...and by the way, is there any chance you could give us a name to call you by? It doesn't have to be your real name. Names are so much friendlier than handles, don't you think?

Well, that's my news, and all I have time to write, y'all. Have a good Sunday, everyone! =smile=
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Old 05-11-2014, 08:55 AM   #69
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good morning and Happy Mother's Day, here is a pic of my beautiful Mom who passed away 3 years ago


Fiona -
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Originally Posted by Fiona W View Post
Holly— Your summer job involves baking? That sounds fun, but also kind of maddening, when you're trying to stay away from sweets. At least it would be for me!
Yes, it can be if I'm hungry..but actually because it's in a work setting, I'm able to treat it more as 'this is a work product, it is not for me'. I try to think, if I was working in a bank, I couldn't treat myself to money And my chef boss is very fit and lean, and only will pop carrots or romaine lettuce as snacks, I'm so insecure that I don't like to appear like a piggy if I'm seen eating my stuff Sorry you hit the proverbial and physical wall yesterday. I think the idea of the girl helping for the summer is great!

worththeeffort2 - -
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Originally Posted by worththeeffort2 View Post
I'm feeling quite down and alone these days..
I"m so sorry !!! I will star * your issues and at least let you know we are listening! *first, it can be so lonely-feeling when you want commiseraton on how hard it is to stick to a diet and work out to better yourself. I do think males try to offer problem-solving as opposed to listening to us just speak about our trials and tribulations. *As for your mom, that must hurt, to feel that she's competing in a competition of weight loss with you, ideally Moms should be thinking of their children's feeling first. *Doesn't it suck when you are always 'there' for people who need someone to listen to them, yet when YOU have the need for that, they don't care? so selfish of them! *I would have felt SO frustrated, when trying to make an appointment with the trainer, to be given such a long time to wait! and it is sad that we have to PAY someone to listen to us about our thoughts. * for your commitment to working out!! it IS doing good for you *I want to smack the lady who would not let you 'on her property' to donate sh*t!! what the ****!! and I'm glad the younger woman came to pick it up, but hey, weren't the items supposed to be sold for the benefit, not 'up for grabs'?? I hope this paragraph wasn't too hard to read but I 'm so sorry so many troubling things are piling on your now. Sometimes, just the next day might be a little better, so hang in there dear!!

Monte Cristo -
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Originally Posted by MonteCristo View Post
. I wish I didn't feel so responsible for everyone all the time...but I can't help it since I end up picking up the pieces when everything falls apart.
Oh, that feeling of responsibility towards your family must feel so heavy!

lilturtle -
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Originally Posted by lilturtle View Post
Well I may be moving down here. My mom found a place that I could afford that is like 10 miles from her that we are going to check out. It would be nice to be closer to my mom. My father passed away 2 years ago and he was the only reason I stayed in Pennsylvania. It's something to think about.
I think if your mom found that place you could afford, it means she wants you nearby

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Originally Posted by FleurDeLis View Post
I came home to flowers and a mother's day card today. Since he won't be feeling well to get them this weekend. It was so sweet, but not not what I dreamed of my first mother's day. No one wants the first to be without the child that made them a mother..
that is so sad, sweetie I hope the retreat this weekend is helping you through this first Mother's Day. We are thinking of you!

Kathleen -
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Originally Posted by IBelieveInMe2 View Post
I finally went to the store yesterday and stocked up on healthy items. Now, I just have to stick to eating the healthy stuff ~ in moderation! Worked out with our trainer yesterday and will walk the pups today for exercise. We are in the process of getting our backyard pool ready to swim in, so that will soon be an additional source of exercise! YAY! It was just installed at the end of last summer, so this will really be our first summer using it. I can't wait! It will also be wonderful exercise for my handicapped daughter. That's the main reason we put the pool in. All docs have always said that will be her best form of exercise. I feel really spoiled having a pool in our back yard, but I LOVE it!!!
You deserve that pool and I hope you have warm weather to enjoy it! and burn those calories, baby!

Amy - -
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Originally Posted by seabiscuit View Post
I have had a rough day, I need ankle surgery again
Amy
Oh no!!! that is crummy news ..really sorry to hear that! We are here for you I'm glad you had a good day with your friend. Oh and thanks for the CUTE pic of Snickers, he is a beauty

and hello to Ohio, Chelsea, projectjudi, 1life2live, and Hope

I missed 2 days of working out since going back to work, it will be difficult to fit it in, the only way I can will be to get up at 5 a.m. and do it then, before DH and DS wake up and are in the living room (that is where I do my thing). I can never do my exercise in the afternoon, when getting home from work.

I am down 7 pounds at 155. I have a range of jeans, crazy how the sizes differ! all different brands, but - the 8's are baggy in the butt, the 10's fit okay, I have an 11/12 that are OK, another 10 that is good in waist but tight in thighs...sheesh.

We rode about 80 miles yesterday because it was GORGEOUS! blue sky, mid 70's, few clouds, just so nice. I think we're more appreciateive of nice days because we hardly have any

A question - I should know, if I should talk about 'what I did at work' because it would maybe be triggering cravings, as my job is to bake desserts? I won't if it bothers even just one of you all.
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Old 05-11-2014, 04:19 PM   #70
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Wink Hi...

Hi there!

Thank you all so much for the support.

Hi Fi! Thank you for your kind private messages. That was very kind and thoughtful of you!

Holly- thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. I don't want to have surgery but I think my surgeon is excellent. I am looking forward to having my left ankle as strong as my right ankle. Thank you about your sweet comment on Snickers!!! He is my best furry friend.

Have a good day everyone!

I'm going for a walk...


Take care!

Amy
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Old 05-11-2014, 10:54 PM   #71
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Red face Back home again!

We just came home from the lake. It is always kind of depressing to come home because it means work and school for my hubby and kids the next day ~ and housework for me. YUCK!!! The kids will be out of school soon enough, though (June 5th)! My youngest (my daughter) is graduating from 8th grade that evening, which seems unreal. Time really does just fly by! My son will be a senior in high school next year. I can't even fathom the thought of him leaving for college yet! Anyway, we walked at the lake with the dogs on Saturday, but didn't get any exercise in today. Oh well, I guess I took the day off for Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day to all of you moms out there, BTW, including you pet moms!!! As usual, eating was a challenge at the lake, but I did better Saturday and Sunday than Friday. I need to really buckle down and get serious again this week!

Amy: How on earth did I miss that adorable photo of you and Snickers on the previous page?!? I had to scroll back after reading Holly's comment. Snickers is such a cutie! I hope you will go to the family function you were invited to next weekend, since you said you'd like to go! Sorry you don't have support about the surgery. Yes, you have to do what's best for you. And I am glad to hear that you have an excellent surgeon. Hang in there!

Fi: So sorry about all of the interruptions and distractions you have encountered with the BERP! The noise at your neighbor's house really sounds annoying. When will their work be finished? Glad that you will maybe get some help on the BERP from your great niece. It sounds like you are at least getting a lot of work done so far. It'll be worth all of this hassle and hard work when you have those adorable kitties there with you. (hearts) They will give you so much love and affection. It sounds like things with Robine/Ignace are definitely on the mend. I am happy for you about that. Interesting that she is now comfortable with the name that her parents gave her.

Holly: I am fine with you talking about your work day, including the scrumptious desserts you make, just for the record. Thank you for sharing that beautiful photo of your mother. I am so sorry she is not with you physically on this Mother's Day. I am blessed to still have both my mom and dad alive, but dad turned 85 and mom 80 this past April. So I am savoring the moments we are together, knowing that time is running out for them. I did not get to see my mom today since we were at the lake (and she wasn't; they have a place there, too), but we are going to celebrate Mother's Day together next Sunday at the lake. Something to look forward to! YIKES at getting up at 5am to work out! CONGRATULATIONS on being DOWN 7 pounds!!! That is awesome! So happy to hear that you finally had gorgeous weather and got out on your bike!!!

Trish: How is Florida? I hope you are having a wonderful time!

HELLO to everyone else! Hope all is well. Would love to hear from you when you get a chance to write!
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Old 05-12-2014, 06:37 AM   #72
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I want to thank everyone for their support. IBelieve, Amy, Fiona, and Holly, I appreciate all your kind words. It does make me feel less alone.

I'm feeling so down right now, its hard for me to put words together to write much. The last couple of days, I've done longer workouts on the elliptical. If I focus on actions--exercise and sticking to my eating program--maybe I can survive this current slump without stalling on the way to my goals. I just don't feel *good*, if you know what I mean.

Holly, go ahead and write about work, if you want to. It won't bother me. Glad you managed to get out for a ride yesterday. God willing, one day I will be able to wear a size 8 or 10! Congratulations on the 7 lbs lost. Great job.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day.
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Old 05-12-2014, 09:25 AM   #73
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I had a miserable day yesterday. Severe depression pain. I think the stress of the BERP is taking its toll. Only tentatively functional this morning.

Holly— I'm certainly OK with your writing about work. Please do... I look forward to hearing about a job you actually like and where your boss is not an ***hole!
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Old 05-12-2014, 01:07 PM   #74
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Hi there...

Believe,

Thank you for that sweet comment about Snickers! He is a bit tired, I was worried but the veterinary receptionist was nice and reassuring. I don't think that I will go to the family function, I would like to but I was just seeing them, I have to get ready for the move. Thanks though.

Worth the effort,

I'm glad that I was able to be reassuring and comforting. Hugs.


Fi,

How are you doing? Take care!

Have a good day, everyone, I am going to swim laps at the pool.

It's a bit warm here!

Amy
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Old 05-12-2014, 01:39 PM   #75
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My diet is going ok. I'm ready for my vacation to be over. i would trade all the stuff my mom has bought me for feeling like she actually wants me here. Friday can't get here soon enough. One day she talks about me moving down here then the next day she says it isn't a good idea. I'm just tired of all the emotions and not sleeping and smart comments. I took some malware off her computer and now she is complaining she has to enter her passwords. I don't even want to go to the pool anymore. It's not that much fun going by myself with no one to talk to while I am in the pool. I just really want to go home. I am never coming back down here again.
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