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Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

Ups & Downs Support Group: May 2014

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Old 05-06-2014, 10:04 PM   #46
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Wicked sore back muscles tonight. I went to the fitness center after work and did the rowing machine and circuit training. By the time I was doing my walk/jog intervals, my back was starting to seize up. I've used some Blu Emu spray on my back and am sitting with a heating pad. Thank heavens tomorrow is Wednesday and my regular day-off from working out.

Holly: I'm so sorry that your husband is unable to appreciate the work you did in the yard. I'm also sorry that he is unwilling to do physical labor. On a positive note, congratulations for all the incredibly hard work you did and the fact your yard now looks beautiful. Try to focus on the pride you should feel about a job well-done. Plus, you burned a butt-load of calories! We're all proud of you!

MonteCristo: Sorry about the situation with your father's fiance. Stay strong and maintain your boundaries.

Fleur: I'm glad you had a great day Monday and that work went well.

IBelieveInMe: I'm glad your headache is finally gone. Love the sweet puppie pix!

I hope everyone else is doing okay today. Sorry to not address everyone individually. Holly, you're WAY better at that than I am. Blessings be on all of you. Now, it is off to bed with me.

(P.S. I have to say, I'm not a fan of the ads for Breyer's Gelato Indulgences on 3FC. That's just mean! )
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Old 05-07-2014, 07:11 AM   #47
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good morning!

Worththeeffort2 - oooh your poor back! I hope it feels better today, and that today is your 'give it a rest' day But yay for working out so hard!

Yes, the side ads are mean! Sometimes I purposely visit a couple motorcycle related sites before coming here, and then the side ads are for motorcycle boots or insurance instead, LOL.

Kathleen - HI and glad you had a treadmill workout! and my face - stuffing was limited to a big apple with about 2 TBSP of peanut butter, could have been worse.

thanks for the commiseration I do know that he does appreciate the cleaning up, tidying up, throwing away, raking, everything that I do for this dump but just does'nt say it the way I want to hear it. And after I started banging things around in the kitchen, after the clumsy remark, he did say 'everything looks great out there" And I should remember that he truly does not 'see' things that I think are glaringly obvious, and sometimes there is a delayed reaction , especially if something from work was bothering him. And that stupid piece of 'lost' plastic? Apparently it is still out there, because our indoor thermometer thingy is showing the actual temperature outside too (a flippin' 29 degrees!! )

So I decided to go back to work today I have 4 large boxes of stuff to lug there (specialty tools/decorating, books, specialty cake pans/forms, etc) and the pans and such will need to be run through the dish machine (THAT is truly a joy to use, really) then put my stuff on my shelves, catch up with my chef boss, meet the new guy, say Hi to the maintenance guys and promise them cookies soon One week from today is Opening Day and everything has to be ready by then. I'm a little excited
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Old 05-07-2014, 10:52 AM   #48
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I just want to complain that Bob is a colossal crab when he's sick. He's had a bad cold, both nose & chest, for a couple of weeks now. Every time I try to interact with him about something urgent, he ends up chewing my head off. I'm sympathetic, of course, with the fact that he feels so bad, but it's really getting on my nerves. And I could use his help with moving things around for the BERP, too. He's too wiped out, though, to do anything physical. =big sigh=

I should be counting my blessings, though: at least it's evident by now that I'm not going to catch it from him. I had a sore throat one night, but I gargled with salt water and that was the end of that.

Another blessing: I got an email from my breeder saying the kittens are doing really well. She didn't have time to send new photos—because she's a special ed teacher, and the upcoming end of the school year means lots of paperwork to do—but she'll be more in touch with me soon. =smile=

Holly— Your summer job involves baking? That sounds fun, but also kind of maddening, when you're trying to stay away from sweets. At least it would be for me!

worththeeffort2— Sorry to hear about your back spasms! I've gotten those before: they hurt like nobody's business. I hope I don't have that happen when I start moving heavy books around, as part of the BERP. As for the nasty side ads, you might consider putting some ad-block software on your browser, or get a different browser where it's part of the package. I'm using a non-Apple browser on my iPad for that very reason.

MonteCristo— What I found striking in your story about your father's fiancιe is that it sounds like your dad is picking out the same sort of immature, hysterical personality for his 2nd wife as he did for the 1st one. Do you think it would do any good to point that out to him? Or maybe you already have...

Kathleen (& others)— I've been meaning for some time to share with you a technique for increasing willpower that I learned from that book called The Willpower Instinct. It's a slow-breathing exercise that's been shown to activate the part of your brain that's right behind your forehead, sometimes called "the executive control center": it's the part you use to make rational decisions. What you do is, lie down comfortably on your side or your back, and start by totally relaxing your belly muscles. Then imagine that your belly is a balloon that you slooooowly inflate when you breathe in. Hold it completely inflated for a count of 3, then slooooowly allow it to deflate. Pause for a second or two after the exhale. If it's going too fast, try inhaling and exhaling through pursed lips. Ideally, you should take around 5 seconds to inhale, 5 seconds to exhale, so it will feel like a really long time to you compared to an ordinary deep-breathing exercise. It may take a dozen breaths or so before you get the hang of it. Your aim is to get your breathing rate down to 4 breaths a minute, or 15 seconds a breath, but even if you don't achieve that, slowing your breathing rate way down will still work. Do the exercise for about 10-15 minutes. The best time to do this is before you're going to be facing a willpower challenge—before dinner, for example, or before your tempted-to-nibble time in the evening. But in case you're cooking for other people, it doesn't have to be right before the meal: a few hours before is OK, I think. I have found this exercise to be very helpful! It seems odd that breathing slow would increase willpower, but they've demonstrated the effect in brain scans, so I believe it.
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Old 05-07-2014, 12:47 PM   #49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiona W View Post

MonteCristo— What I found striking in your story about your father's fiancιe is that it sounds like your dad is picking out the same sort of immature, hysterical personality for his 2nd wife as he did for the 1st one. Do you think it would do any good to point that out to him? Or maybe you already have...
The thing is I don't think my mom wasn't like that originally. Honestly, I think she ended up with some kind of severse post partum depression that never got addressed and things just snowballed from there. So she ended up just running away and rebooted her life as if she was 18 again. Also, Dad never wanted her to leave, so maybe he likes that type of personality. I doubt it would do any good to point it out. One problem is that she is in the Phillipines. He met her online, and has been down there to visit her several times, but there was some legal snafus on her end, so it has taken nearly three years to work through the visa process. Saying anything at this point just seems mean now that so much time is invested, and my Dad is dramatic and would probably be all like "then I'll just be alone forever because I don't have the energy to start over again". Another big problem is I totally don't agree with my Dad's ideas about marriage...he really into the whole submission and husband being the leader and all that...and I'm NOT. That's the stupidest part about this whole thing. The fight was about Dad telling her not to bring up a subject anymore, and she keeps forgetting and doing it anyway. So he got annoyed, and he's so sensitive that he thinks that if you "forget" something you just don't give a carp about the other person, or that you did it on purpose. Anyway, the whole thing sucks, and I can't seem to get over it either. Writing about it here helps, but not much. I got so worked up last night that I ended up crying for a hour, and then I couldn't relax enough to go to sleep until after midnight. And I don't have anyone to talk to about it...

I've thought about sitting down with my Dad and having him talk to me about the relationship and what he sees him her and all that, but that seems like a totally weird thing for a daughter to do. I know we have an odd relationship anyway and I'm way up in his business more than a child normally is with a parent, but is that really my place? But then the divorce was such an unmitigated disaster I certainly don't want that to happen again, not just for Dad's sake (and my sanity) but there are all the kids to consider (and she has one too). I wish he didn't pick some one so far away...then I could have gotten to know her...maybe she isn't so bad, maybe I only hear about it or get contacted by her when she is in a particularly bad place. I wish I didn't feel so responsible for everyone all the time...but I can't help it since I end up picking up the pieces when everything falls apart.
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Old 05-07-2014, 04:14 PM   #50
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Well I may be moving down here. My mom found a place that I could afford that is like 10 miles from her that we are going to check out. It would be nice to be closer to my mom. My father passed away 2 years ago and he was the only reason I stayed in Pennsylvania. It's something to think about.

We went sandel shopping today and got some frozen yogurt. I got a kid's size. My goal whilde I am down here is to not gain weight. Not shooting for record weight loss while on vacation. I think that is reasonable. So far so good. Getting my hair colored in a little bit then off to the pool this evening. It's great getting out so much.
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Old 05-07-2014, 09:06 PM   #51
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Good evening, everyone. I am enjoying my night off from working out but I have my gym bag packed to hit the pool tomorrow after work.

Holly: I love to bake sweets and decorate cakes. I can't anymore because it is like being an alcoholic trying to tend bar but I use to spent a lot of time in the kitchen making all kinds of goodies. I cannot bring myself to get rid of my pastry bags and decorating tips, though (even though I haven't used them in almost 10 years!). I'm glad your husband eventually got around to acknowledging your hard work in the yard.

Fiona: Men are such babies when they are sick. I hope he's feeling much better very soon (and that he says thank you for taking care of him!). Can't wait to see more pictures of your kittens.

MonteCristo: Personally, I think it would be a loving thing for you to do to sit down and discuss the situation with your dad. You'd be doing it because you want the best for him, especially if you already suspect this relationship is already destined to end in divorce. You may discover that he's feeling more obligation than love for the woman at this point. If he's open to finding women online, he could simply advertise for a submissive. There are women who actually enjoy being dominated and ordered around. I don't happen to be one of them but I do know that they exist right here in the states. Any woman strong enough to leave her home and family in order to secure citizenship in another country through marriage is going to be an ambitious, strong-willed woman. A submissive woman would just settle for what she could get in her native country and not question it. It's something your dad needs to think about.

Lilturtle: It sounds like you've got something very exciting to think about. Imagine winters with no snow and lots of fitness opportunities because of good weather. Of course, after a horribly long winter, any place warm and green sounds like heaven to me right now!

I think I'll spend some time cuddling with my own husband now and thank him for all that he does around the house so that he knows I appreciate him.
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Old 05-07-2014, 09:24 PM   #52
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Howdy folks! I have two new pictures of the kittens: one and two. They will be three weeks old on Friday. If you happen to notice that their ears look rather too large for their heads, well, that's because they're entering what I call "the bat stage." Oriental shorthairs have large ears as adults: those ears develop way faster than their heads, so orientals go through a phase where they have these little faces and huge ears, making them look like bats. One person who saw our last pair said, "They're space aliens!" Whatever....it all comes together eventually, and they end up, as adults, looking very much like the cats in ancient Egyptian statues. That's because they're descended more directly from the North African desert cats that the ancient Egyptians domesticated, than are the domestic or American shorthairs most people have as pets.

And if that's not enough of the kittens for you, here's a little snatch of video. They're just starting to explore their environment, so the birthing box has been moved into a pen, to keep them out of trouble.

By the way, I think it's very sweet of y'all to be interested in my kittens...=big smile=
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Old 05-07-2014, 10:26 PM   #53
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Hey everyone!

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was pretty busy and got tired earlier than normal.

We started a walking program/contest at work. There are several teams and you record the amount of steps taken in time set aside specifically for the program. We also have a conversion chart to calculate steps for other activities like biking, swimming, yard work, etc. Yesterday I did an interval workout on the treadmill and tried a yoga class. Today I weight lifted and did a cycling class.

Food was great today. Spaghetti for lunch with some pretzels, a chocolate covered strawberry brought to me by the CEO (I couldn't refuse!!!!), and then three pieces of a frozen pizza for dinner. Also a small snack cake for desert. Cals came in at around 1200 today. Whoop!

I'm off work the for rest of the week (easing into the job). I'm going to a grief retreat at Fatima retreat house. I'm really looking forward to it. One of my coworkers paid for my registration (so blessed!) Even though I think it will be difficult, I'm excited.

Friday I'll be taking hubby to the oral surgeon to get his wisdom teeth removed. Poor guy, I'll feel so bad for him.

I came home to flowers and a mother's day card today. Since he won't be feeling well to get them this weekend. It was so sweet, but not not what I dreamed of my first mother's day. No one wants the first to be without the child that made them a mother..

Well, quick post and run for me. I'm exhausted! Goodnight!
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Old 05-07-2014, 11:27 PM   #54
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Hi there, Believe and Holly, thank you for your kind words about my volunteering at the hospital. . I have volunteered at four hospitals in my life and two nursing homes, I truly love giving back to health care and the community. I'm planning on trying to volunteer at a hospital when I move, I find it to be very rewarding. I am coming up on 200 hours of volunteer work at the hospital where I volunteer! Some of my co-volunteers have thousands of hours.

Fiona, your kitties are beautiful!! I love that orange marmalade color. Orange cats are very special and beautiful.

I'm going to head to bed soon, I watched the end of the movie Beethoven, such a great movie!

I find this to be such a supportive group, so encouraging! Thank you for this support!

Good night and sweet dreams!

I tried to attach a photo of myself and my sweet guinea pig, Snickers.
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Old 05-08-2014, 12:18 AM   #55
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My mom took my picture after I got my hair done. I hate pictures but I thought I'd share.

I don't know how to attach a picture. Here http://tinypic.com/r/2j47wk4/8
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Old 05-08-2014, 07:00 AM   #56
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a super quick check in, before I get ready for work, hi everyone! kittens are adorable, and lilturtle, you have really nice hair!
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Old 05-08-2014, 11:40 AM   #57
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I finally went to the store yesterday and stocked up on healthy items. Now, I just have to stick to eating the healthy stuff ~ in moderation! Worked out with our trainer yesterday and will walk the pups today for exercise. We are in the process of getting our backyard pool ready to swim in, so that will soon be an additional source of exercise! YAY! It was just installed at the end of last summer, so this will really be our first summer using it. I can't wait! It will also be wonderful exercise for my handicapped daughter. That's the main reason we put the pool in. All docs have always said that will be her best form of exercise. I feel really spoiled having a pool in our back yard, but I LOVE it!!!

worththeeffort2: OUCH on the wicked sore back muscles!!! I hope your pain has eased up some by now. Good for you for having that gym bag packed for the pool after work. Preparation and planning is so important.

Holly: Glad to hear that your DH finally complimented all of your hard work! I hope your first few days at your summer job are going well. It sounds like you really do A LOT for that place!

Fi: That is funny you mentioned The Willpower Instinct! I am reading it right now...... very slowly and in spurts, along with a few other books. Thank you for your summary on breathing techniques for increasing willpower. I will definitely give them a try! I need all the help I can get when it comes to willpower!!! I hope Bob feels better soon ~ for his sake AND yours! Last, but not least, thanks for sharing the photos and video of your kittens! So adorable!

MonteCristo: Good luck dealing with the situation with your Dad and his fiance. It probably wouldn't hurt to discuss your feelings about the situation with him, if you have that kind of relationship. You are in a tough position. Sending you a big hug!

Trish: Wow!!! How exciting that you might be moving to Florida near your mom! One of my best friends just moved there with her long-time boyfriend. It would be nice! Did you like the place you looked at? Please keep us posted. Good for you for getting a kid-sized yogurt. Thank you for the photo of you. Your hair looks great and it is so nice to have a face to go with your name!

Sabrina: Glad to hear that you are easing back into work. It sounds like the walking program/contest is going to be great for you! Good luck! You are off to a great start! Hooray for doing well with food and calories, too! I hope you get a lot out of your grief retreat. I will be thinking of you. So sweet that one of your co-workers paid for your registration! Good luck with your husband's wisdom teeth removal on Friday. Sounds painful! That is so thoughtful that your hubby got you flowers and a mother's day card before he is off his feet. My heart aches for you that you don't have your precious Isabelle here with you, since she made you a mommy, but you are every bit her mother!!! I will be thinking of you on Mother's Day and keeping you in my prayers.

Amy: Thanks for checking in! I am so happy that you find this group to be very supportive. I do, too! I am thankful for all of you!


Gotta run! Hubby is working on the pool and needs my help! Take good care, everyone!
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Old 05-08-2014, 01:04 PM   #58
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The kittens are so cute Fiona!

Nothing much going on here. Enjoying my little vacation. Going to the pool a little later. I'm doing pretty good controling myy eating.

I was thinking about going through security on my trip down here. I think I was singled out due to my size. Both times I went through I got a pat down. Does anyone else have any experience with this?
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Old 05-08-2014, 08:07 PM   #59
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Well, I was doing really well for several days there, regarding the BERP stress, but yesterday and today I've had all these interruptions. First there were the new kitten pics, which I wanted to put links to in various places, including here, and send to various people, which involved a temporary hassle with not being able to connect to the server for my domain. Then I went to the Co-op pharmacy to pick up a medication I'm out of, only to discover that it hadn't been called in by my shrink. It still hasn't, because I was unable to get through to his secretary today. =sigh= I'm also kind of flustered because the date has arrived when I need to wrap & assemble & write a note (in French, of course) for Robine's birthday present. Robine, for those of you who missed that kerfluffle, is a friend who lives in Belgium, who cut off communication with me abruptly in January, causing me a bunch of pain. More on her in a sec...Inevitably, I have strong feelings about sending her this gift. As I write these words, I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed!

But I'm trying to focus on the up side, the blessings: Robine and I are on pretty good terms these days. She actually wrote to me in email (!) that she's been in therapy for a few months, and that it's going much better than her previous trials of therapy. One result of it is that she isn't Robine any more: she's now, finally, comfortable with the name her parents gave her, which is Ignace (pronounced roughly "eeg-NAHSS"). ("Robine" was a handle she & I invented together during our long intense email correspondence, when I grew frustrated with her not having a name.) It also sounds like she's processing a lot of what happened between her & me with her therapist. That's really good news! And she put up a Flickr account just for me, which is called "un regard dans ma vie" (a look into my life)—lots of photos from her walks around Antwerp, where she lives, plus many of her own drawings and watercolors. That was a lovely gesture, and I've really appreciated the care Ignace took with it, setting it up so that it sort of tells a story, including a few photos of her handwritten to-do lists, open books with poems she wanted me to read, that sort of thing. The messages in the Flickr account are loud & clear: she values our friendship and does want to get together with me in person...some day. I am content to wait until she is ready, however long that takes.

There's also been the minor (HA!) matter of our next-door neighbor conducting an enormous landscaping project in his yard over the past week and a half, involving lots of people talking loudly, lots of heavy machinery hauling and spreading dirt, making tons of noise, driving over & damaging the roots of our beloved old silver maple—all right next to the big window over the couch where I'm sitting every day, clipping images out of magazines & catalogs. I can't move my project to another room, because I need the ample daylight from that window to see the colors of what I'm choosing to clip, so I can do at least some of the sorting as I work. I'm very weary of hearing that "BEEP-BEEP-BEEP..." of trucks and tractors backing up.

I just wish I could concentrate on the BERP to the exclusion of all else, which is dumb, because of course life goes on. I'm looking forward to Sunday, when I've promised myself a proper day of rest, along with making a collage I hope...

I've been meaning for some time to start going for regular walks, but I haven't done so yet. It drives me nuts to have to leave the BERP for even a short trip to the Co-op. It's like the only way I can deal with all the stress of what needs to be done is to be totally immersed in the project. Yes, I know, walking helps you handle stress much better. =sigh= At least I haven't eaten anything off-plan in quite a while, not even extra helpings of muesli.

Thanks so much, guys, for bein' there to write to!
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Current mini-goal: Get down to 260
Pounds to go: 15

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Mini-goal 1: 30 days binge-free —> done 12/21/13 & binge-free now
Mini-goal 2: Get down to 280 —> done 5/22/14

Last edited by Fiona W : 05-08-2014 at 08:11 PM.
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Old 05-08-2014, 08:35 PM   #60
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Went to the pool tonight after work. After about 15-minutes, only five laps (down and back). I am definitely not a strong swimmer but using My Fitness Pal to log my workouts, I've been surprised that swimming actually burns a lot of calories. IBelieveInMe2, you're going to love having a pool right in your back yard. I'm jealous (but in a positive way)!
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