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Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

Ups & Downs Support Group: May 2014

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Old 05-05-2014, 09:19 AM   #31
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Sorry I didn't check in yesterday: I have been working very long hours on the BERP, like 10 hours a day, but the progress is slow. Going through magazines and scientific journals one page at a time looking for useful images to clip is definitely going to be the slowest part of this project in terms of visible results. But the end of the clipping part is in sight. Next I need to clear out an area where I'm hoping Bob will build a nice-looking piece of cat furniture—not one of those things you buy in a store that have cream-colored carpeting on them, but something that will resemble a very simple, modernistic apartment building for cats, except made of nice wood with a nice finish. (Bob loves working with wood and is especially good at stains and finishes.)

Anyway, sorry to go on about that when others, like poor Judi with her hernia, are really suffering. I've been sleeping well: 10 PM to 6 AM for two nights in a row. It's because I'm doing physical labor all day. I think my right arm, especially my shoulder muscles, are going to be outstanding by the time this project is over.

But things aren't going so hot back in my home state of Texas, where my mother has Alzheimer's and started throwing tantrums in her special "memory care" facility, so she's been on a geriatric psych ward for two weeks. My sister is the family member who has to be there when this sort of thing happens, and she's all stressed out & angry about it. She took it out on me over the phone, and I wound up breaking down and crying. Then my sister hung up on me and I kept crying the whole rest of the day, not getting any work done on the house.

My family of origin is so horrible. I mean my parents were. They both physically abused me when I was a child, but I intervened to protect my little sister from all of that: I was six years old when she was born, so I was old enough to get between my parents and her and take the blows myself. My sister and I were very close all through her grade school years, but then I turned 18 and went to college 1400 miles away, and she massively resented me for doing that.

And that's basically been the story ever since: we build a fragile truce, she gets mad at me and it breaks down, and so on ad infinitum. She doesn't want me down there in Texas helping take care of Mom, though. (My dad died in '07.) She thinks I would make the situation worse. She thinks all these crazy things about me because my parents bad-mouthed me in her ears so convincingly for nearly 40 years, she's effectively brainwashed. =sigh= She sure can hurt me bad over the phone. She did it today. My eyes are so puffy from crying, I can just barely see out of them. I'm just hopin' to be able to get back in the saddle tomorrow. Normally Sunday is my one day off from the BERP, but today was blown to pieces by my long bawling jag, so I'll have to forgo my day of rest this week. I just hope I can sleep tonight. Sorry for all my rambling. I'll stop writing now and not subject you nice people to any more of my crap.
Wow Fiona, I had similar parents and an older sister - when she went away to college I was a little afraid fending for myself, but I would have killed for loving protection like what you gave. Unfortunately, the abuse had turned my sister abusive to me. Its nice to see the opposite happening here and I'm glad that things are better between you and your sister.
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Old 05-05-2014, 09:33 AM   #32
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Hi Everyone!

Had a lovely weekend...weather was absolutely perfect, so I spend both Saturday and Sunday outside working in the yard. Planted a couple of trees (Japanese Maple and White Dogwood) and started a batch of dwarf mondo grass. Then I cleaned out a couple of flowerbeds at my Dads and did some weedeating. I'm a little tired today from all the work, and I busted a couple of knuckles, but all in all it was a great weekend.
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Old 05-05-2014, 09:44 AM   #33
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good morning chicks!

Fi - that is so wonderful, your sister did that, so glad you told us And you are probably back to BERP-ing today

lilturtle - best wishes for the flight!! and we look forward to a WARM and SUNSHINY post from Florida!

Kathleen - so sorry about the migraine! I do hope it is gone by now. Have you told us the 'flavors' of your dogs? 3 is a herd!

Amy - did you get that box packed before dinner? (not nagging, really!)

worththeeffort2 - hope your eye appt. is routine and don't forget the--> Regarding the issue of working in a workout, that is truly a big thing to do but it will be so rewarding to have exercise a regular thing to do..like not "am I going to work out?" but "when am I gonna work out"

Monte Cristo , you are the yard queen!! I'm so glad you were able to enjoy the beautiful outdoors and got so much done! your yard will be a sanctuary.

Hi to pixellate, who posted with concern to Fi

Hello to Ohio, Chelsea, projectjudi, 1life2liv, coffeeshopgirl, and Hope

It is not raining at the moment, but it is gray and such low-lying clouds..gloomy. However the weatherguessers say sun tomorrow and Wednesday. I had planned to start my summer job on Wednesday, but I ... just... might... postpone to Thursday, so I can enjoy a nice day!
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Old 05-05-2014, 06:05 PM   #34
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Hi there!

Believe,

That is funny!! . How are you?


Holly,

I worked on the box, thanks, but it's not quite done. Maybe I'll finish it tonight.


Monte Cristo,

I love trees! They sound beautiful!


Have a good day!

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Old 05-05-2014, 08:58 PM   #35
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worththeeffort2- Visit home was great! Much needed! Today went well at work. THere was a fiesta and even though it wasn't for me, it still felt like it. Everyone missed me. Nice to hear that. Got lots of hugs!

Ibelieveinme2- Aw, that is wonderful! We have a box as well that we have several things in. Of course it is in her room. We haven't changed anything. I sometimes go in there to feel closer to her. It helps. I made sure to take picture of her with me to work to put on my clipboard. I work at a desk that is shared with other shifts, so I can't have a picture frame or anything, but my clipboard goes in my own little cubby so I know it is safe.

Vermont- Thank you! Sorry for the gloomy day!

First day back at work today. Went pretty well. Lots of hugs and welcomes. Was nice. I'm tired now, bedtime for me!
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Old 05-05-2014, 10:12 PM   #36
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...Visit home was great! Much needed! Today went well at work. THere was a fiesta and even though it wasn't for me, it still felt like it. Everyone missed me. Nice to hear that. Got lots of hugs!
aw how nice!

and I suck because I skipped your name in greetings ---> embarrassed face!

so nice you can have a picture of your angel at your work
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Old 05-05-2014, 11:19 PM   #37
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Unhappy I goofed!

Well, today we took a road trip to Pittsburgh to my daughter's Endocrinologist there. I had a stomach ache all day and was REALLY CRAVING chocolate. So.......... on the way home, at a restroom stop, I bought one of those "Whatchamacallit" candy bars that used to be one of my favorites. I haven't had one in years and periodically crave one when I see them in the convenience stores. Thinking that maybe it would help my stomach settle down (seriously!), and STILL craving chocolate, I ate the whole thing. I must admit that it was good, but not nearly as good as I had remembered. So I did make a mistake by buying and eating the candy bar, but I learned a valuable lesson for the next time I am craving something: It doesn't taste as good as I imagine it will taste. AND I am now reminded of the saying: Nothing tastes as good as being THIN will feel! However, since we were on the road all day, I just sat in the car. Uggggh, I feel FAT tonight.

Trish: I was thinking of you today. Hope all went well and that you are now in Florida relaxing with your mom! Enjoy your time there! Please post as soon as you can to let us know how things went at the airport. Sending a big hug!

worththeeffort2: Love your line that you "are declaring your independence from fat and (your) observance of today will be to hit the elliptical later!" Good for you! Nice way to switch up the Cinco de Mayo holiday to make it healthy! That is awesome about your life now revolving around your workout rather than food!!! You are on your way! Hope your eye appointment ~ and your workout ~ went well!

pixelllate: Happy to hear from you again. Sorry for the abuse you suffered, too! So sad. Please feel free to chime in any time! Thanks for supporting Fi!

MonteCristo: Your yard must look lovely! Yay for perfect weather and yardwork as exercise! Hope you didn't overdo it!

Holly: My migraine is finally gone today, thank God! My pups are: a 10-yr-old male Brittany (Spaniel) ~ red/brown and white ~ named Griffin, a 4-yr-old black male Cocker Spaniel ~ named Lucky, and a 1-yr-old white female Clumber Spaniel ~ named Lucy. Lucy, still a pup, is a real handful! Love them all to pieces, though! I am posting photos of Griffin and Lucy below, but I have tried for over an hour to post one of Lucky and it won't let me! Arrrrgh!!! Frustrating!!!

Amy: I am doing okay, but I'm frustrated that I can't be consistent with healthy eating and small(er) portions. How 'bout you? When do you move? How is the packing coming, my fellow procrastinator?!?

Sabrina: Glad to hear that you felt really welcomed back to work and got lots of hugs! So nice that you have a photo of Isabelle on your clipboard at work and her room to spend time in when you want to feel close to her. She will be watching over you always and you will always be her Mommy!

Hello to Everyone Else! Hope all is well!
Attached Images
File Type: jpg CBJ; dogs; Mom's 80th - April 2014 009.jpg (18.3 KB, 4 views)
File Type: jpg CBJ; dogs; Mom's 80th - April 2014 010.jpg (19.3 KB, 4 views)

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Old 05-06-2014, 09:02 AM   #38
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Hi everyone

Thanks for the well wishes and prayers. Your support is what makes me keep coming back here . I just keep telling myself that I'm doing the right thing and that everything will be ok.

Hope all is well.
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Old 05-06-2014, 11:08 AM   #39
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Hi there!

It's a beautiful day here!

Believe- thank you for your cheerful message! I am almost done with that box! My friend is going to help me pack this weekend. I move June 11.
How are you?

Holly- how are you doing?

Coffeeshopgirl- it's wonderful to see you!

I'm off to volunteer at my local hospital. I'm saying an early goodbye because I'll only have about 5 more days volunteering there as of today, I volunteer once a week. Take care!
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Old 05-06-2014, 01:17 PM   #40
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Feeling a bit down today. Apparently my Dad and his fiance had a little spat, and she contacted me all emotional and freaked out wanting me to talk to him for her. I mean really, do I have a sign on my forhead that says "free counselling". I'm sick of everyone needing my help. And my family wonders why I'm perfectly content to be single...like they set good examples of relationships! My dad asked her not to contact him for a couple of days, and she wanted me to be a go between. Yeah right. I told her no obviously (not getting dragged into that again). She gets all dramatic about how much she loves him and only lives for him and wouldn't be able to make it if he ever left her. Gag! She is SO childish. This is not what I expect from a 45 year old woman. I want my dad to be happy, but honestly, the more I know about her, the less I like her. I already have one should be grown woman in my life that acts like a teenager (my mom), I certainly don't need another. And this is making me crave sugar like crazy...not even one thought about sugar after the first few days, and now at the very first sign of family crap I want to dive headfirst into a giant chocolate frosty.
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Starting Weight - 250 (06/23/14)
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Mini Goal #2 - 230 (08/09/14).
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Old 05-06-2014, 01:27 PM   #41
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I'm in FL. I got to the airport at about 12:30 for my flight that was scheduled to leave at 3:28. No one was at the ticket counter until 2:20ish. The flight was delayed until 5:02. I got pat down and a full body scan in security twice (I went through once, went to McDs which turns out is outside of the secure area). The flight didn't leave until 5:30. The flight itself was uneventful. The seatbelt extender worked fine. Having two seats was a good idea. They pack people in like sardines. It's great to see my mom. Haven't seen her since Xmas. Oh both airports weren't too bad as far as crowds.

Sunny day (supposed to be 92)! Headed for the pool soon.
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Old 05-06-2014, 06:16 PM   #42
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Well, I'm workin' like mad on the BERP, which is going very slowly. =sigh= I don't really have much else to say. My mood is holding steady, even during the afternoons—usually my worst part of the day. I wish I could take a day off to make a collage, but until I begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I live and breathe for the BERP. One thing all this physical labor is doing for me: my insomnia is gone! I'm sleeping straight through, eight hours a night. I wonder if clipping magazines is enough exercise that it will speed up my weight loss: it sure does make me perspire. I'm content to wait and find out on my regular weigh-in day, the 22nd.

Anyway, I don't have time to greet y'all personally, but I'm sending warm thoughts in your direction!
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Old 05-06-2014, 08:02 PM   #43
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Feeling a bit down today. .... And this is making me crave sugar like crazy...not even one thought about sugar after the first few days, and now at the very first sign of family crap I want to dive headfirst into a giant chocolate frosty.
Gah is right about the fiance acting so childish! and trying to put you in the middle!! I HOPE the angst will not push you into having sugar when you've been doing so well

Coffeeshopgirl - we are here for you

Kathleen - Oh thank you for the pup pics! Griffin is cute and OMGosh at Lucy, what a CUTE face on that little girl Oh I am so sorry that the small indiscretion (candy bar) was made you feel yucky. Well now you know that they don't taste as good as you think, and the results are regrettable. Hang strong!

Hi Sabrina, how was your day?

Seabiscuit, I"m so glad you had a beautiful day, and you are so wonderful to do that hospital volunteer work .

Fi, you are making such a dent in your BERP! and very good to hear that the insomnia is gone.

lilturtle, so glad you made it! I would have been at getting there so nice and early for check-in and no one there! and delays. BUt now you're enjoying WARMTH and sun I hope and a pool

Hi worththeeffort2, Ohio, Chelsea, projectjudi, 1life2liv, and Hope!

Today was FINALLY sunny! So as I had no excuse, I was outside for over 2 1/2 hours raking, picking up branches, and cleared off our deck, which was a horror show of discarded crap, leaves, pine needles, dirt, ugh! It looks FANTASTIC now. The lawn is leaf-free. Soooo.....my DH comes home, pauses at the door before coming inside, and DOES NOT SAY 'WOW EVERYTHING LOOKS GREAT' or anything like that...he chooses to say, 'where is the sensor for the thermometer?" It is apparently a small piece of white plastic that was on the deck table...I immediately felt the blood rush to my face and get red..he would NEVER do anything like that physical work, I am the only one around here to do it, and that's the reaction??? I said shortly, 'well I guess I raked it, and it's gone, sorry' and just stalked away. I'm still steamed. I shouldn't get so upset but things like this make me want to be single!!!!!!!! It also makes me want to stuff my face out of anger, and we don't even have anything 'good' but i would do it with peanut butter and bread!!!
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Old 05-06-2014, 08:28 PM   #44
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Cool Hello!

Hello Support Buddies! Today was a gorgeous day! I walked my dogs for 25 minutes, but my eating wasn't great. I am going to walk on the treadmill tonight for some more exercise and aim for healthier eating tomorrow.

coffeeshopgirl: Happy to know that you are feeling our support! I hope you DO keep coming back! Hope all is going okay with the stress that you are dealing with. That's great that you are using positive self-talk with yourself. It really does help. Hang in there!

Amy: Happy to hear that you had a beautiful day where you are, too! Hope you took some time to enjoy it! Good that your friend is going to help you pack this weekend. You can finish that box! I know you can. "Just do it!" Nice that you volunteer at your local hospital.

MonteCristo: Sorry that you are feeling down today. That is so childish, unfair, and manipulative of your Dad's fiance to try to put you in the middle of their spat! Good for you for NOT taking the bait! Sorry this is all making you crave sugar, but DON'T CAVE IN!!! You have done so well!!! Do your best to stay focused on YOURSELF and YOUR life and YOUR needs. You matter! Be strong for YOURSELF!!!

Trish (lilturtle): So happy to hear that you made it to Florida okay! Your delay in leaving must have been so frustrating. But you made it through everything!!! YAY for YOU!!! Enjoy the sunshine , the pool, and time with your mom! Thanks for checking in!

Fi: Keep on BERPing!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! Glad to hear that all of the physical labor has chased away your insomnia and that your mood is holding steady. You can reward yourself later, when the BERPing is done, by making a collage. Thank you for taking the time out to post and say hello!

Holly: How are you? When did you decide to begin your summer job? I hope all goes well for you!

Chelsea (CDubsGotGoats): Haven't heard from you in awhile. Are you still reading along?!? Hope all is well!

Waving HELLO to everyone else!
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Old 05-06-2014, 08:39 PM   #45
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Talking Holly!

Holly: I just read your new post. Great job on the yardwork!!! So sorry that DH ignored your good deed and focused on the ONE thing missing. I hate it when that happens!!! Try to stay proud of your hard work and not let his comment deflate you too much! And, especially DON'T let yourself stuff your face out of anger!!! You will regret it. Just do this to him behind the door: ! That's what I do. Thank you for the puppy compliments!

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