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Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

Ups & Downs Support Group: April 2014

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Old 04-26-2014, 03:16 AM   #121
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Kathleen— It's late, and I'm trashed, but I wanted to say "Welcome back!" and also to correct something you said: I was not Trish's scale angel. i was just the go-between. Another person, who wishes to remain anonymous, wrote me a private message asking if I would get Trish's address so she could send her a scale via Amazon. After Trish returned to the group, she gave me her address. I gave it to the angel, and the angel sent the scale—yay!

As for the BERP (Big Entropy Reduction Project), it's just my all-inclusive term for a major effort to clear out all the piles of paper and to square away miscellaneous books & art supplies in a more orderly fashion. (Collage artists hoard paper: it's only natural that we do, because where else do we get our images from? =smile=) I'll also be giving away a lot, a WHOLE lot, of books. All of that has to be done before Bob and I can work together to clean our house and to make it a safe & fun place for the two kittens, who arrive in mid-July.
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Old 04-26-2014, 09:55 AM   #122
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Good morning, everyone. I suppose I should not be disappointed by a one-pound weight loss this week but I am a little bit. I did so much cardio this week, I was really hoping for two. Oh, well. Just got to keep working at it.

projectJudi: I ordered my suit from SwimOutlet.com. I'll paste a photo from the website below. The design helps hide my belly. I went by my measurements on sizing and it fits well. I did get a pair of swim shorts to wear over it to give me some extra length to hide my thighs a bit.

MonteCristo: I hope you are starting to feel a bit better. It is understandable that you are unhappy about needing medicine but on the plus side, you've discovered the medicine you need to help you feel better. Your mom may have set an anti-medicine tone for you early in life but you're an adult now and need to make the best choices for you based on your personal experience. Your mom isn't living your life; you are. Personally, I think you are strong to face down the opposition and do what you need to do for YOU. I congratulate you for working so hard to keep yourself well and I hope you come up with a way to make sure you don't miss anymore doses so you can continue to feel well.

Congratulations on the 1.2lb loss! I'm glad the no sugar thing isn't creating issues for you. Honestly, I hadn't thought about the fact I wasn't wearing glasses might impact my balance, etc. It was the longest I've gone without glasses during any kind of activity. Interesting thought!

Sabrina: Welcome to the group! I am so very sorry to learn of the loss of your beautiful daughter. I'm sure it is very difficult and a loss that you will feel forever. I wonder if your place of work would allow you to just stop in for a little bit this week, just so you can expose yourself to the environment and see how it affects you? It might allow you to know whether or not being around the children will be too much and help you make that final decision about moving on to another position elsewhere.

Lilturtle: I hope you take advantage of the pool access to swim some laps. After I did my laps this week, I entered the info into MyFitnessPal tracker and discovered that I'd burned over 300 calories in 30 minutes! Have fun sight seeing and checking out the historical locations. Hope you have a wonderful, relaxing trip.

Holly: So glad to hear you got out on the bike and had a quick ride around town. Hopefully, your weather will cooperate and you can get out again this weekend.

IBelieveInMe2: Welcome home! I'm glad you had a wonderful vacation and enjoyed perfect weather.

Reading about everyone working on spring house cleaning has me thinking that I have to do more than just stare at the cobweb in the corner of the kitchen ceiling and think, "I really should get out the vacuum cleaner."

We're having pretty gray weather this weekend so I was planning to shuffle over winter and spring/summer clothes. With any luck, none of my winter clothes will fit come next November but I can't quite part with them yet, simply because of the daunting thought of the cost it will be to replace everything. If I wait and try things on again next fall, maybe I'll be able to make do with some of the sweaters? It won't hurt to just pack them away for a few months.
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Old 04-26-2014, 02:56 PM   #123
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WELCOME BACK KATHLEEN I'm so glad you had perfect weather and it is so nice to be so complemented by you, for Fi and I being chatty and friendly I'm going to sprinkle extra for you, and I, and anyone else who needs to be covered with it

Weather-wise, it is yuck out there today! drizzly and 45, definitely not motorcycling weather but that's okay, i will be patient.

Today my exercise was Jillian Michael's 6 Week 6 Pack Abs, level 1 which is pretty brutal, I dont even want to think about what she cooks up in Levels 2 or 3!

to everyone and I hope this day is being good to you
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Old 04-26-2014, 05:20 PM   #124
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Seabiscuit- Thanks for the hugs! Nice job on apologizing to the receptionist. Sometimes we feel bad about our actions, but refuse to apologize for our actions. I'm sure it was hard to do, but it leads to a wonderful feeling.

Fiona- Thanks for the welcome. When I finally came to terms with taking my medication a few years ago, that was exactly how I kinda came to grips with it. I'm more me with the medication than without it.

Ibelieveinme- Thank you for the wonderful welcome. That welcome font is awesome, so.... Welcoming! Thank you also for sharing of your loss. Knowing others who have suffered child loss and seeing how they have experienced it gives my husband and I strength. I'm glad you too found strength in our faith. It is very comforting to me. I went to confession today and I mentioned to the priest that my faith and prayer life have been strengthened since our loss. This has been something I've wanted to happen for a long time (deepening faith, dedication to prayer, etc) and he said something that I have truly felt.. He said that God was using this loss to strengthen my faith and prayer life. It made me so happy to hear this type of confirmation in a way. We spent a day and a half with her while I was in the hospital, but she has had such a large impact on our lives.

Glad to hear you had an amazing vacation!
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Old 04-26-2014, 05:27 PM   #125
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I had a rough night. Despite being monumentally exhausted from clipping magazines, I was too keyed up to get to sleep, and then, after getting up and reading then trying again, without success, I slipped into severe depression pain between 4 and 4:30 AM. At that point I was not in bed, but downstairs on the couch. It started gradually with thoughts along the lines of doom, death, despair, disaster, destruction (I'm very aware of negative associations with the letter D), and then suddenly escalated into that whole-body pain that's like the worst experience of acute grief you've ever had. I started vocalizing, as I always do when the pain is that bad, but I kept my mouth closed so it was just low moans that wouldn't wake up Bob. I took some Geodon, but it didn't help. I took a Clonapin, hoping it would put me to sleep, but it didn't. I took more Geodon. I was sitting on the edge of the couch—rocking, panicky, sweating like mad, not knowing what to do. There never is anything to do. Finally, around 6 AM, I fell asleep. An hour and a half of that level of pain is...well, if you've ever been there, and I sincerely hope you haven't, you'll know how long a time that was.

I slept 'til about 10 or 11, I don't remember. I woke up feeling OK, not even mildly depressed, but very weak, and fragile. I've been clipping my way through a stack of magazines...but slowly, cautiously, without the usual rock-n-roll to set the tempo. As soon as I began to feel tired, I took my afternoon break.

I have no idea what set that off, or how to steer clear of it tonight. I'm getting enough calories and eating my daily muesli, so it's not the diet. Just stress from the BERP, I assume—self-imposed stress from this upheaval in my life, this complete departure from my normal life. I don't want to cut back on the BERP any more than I already have. Tomorrow is my day off.

I do think that getting more exercise, moderate exercise like walking, would help me weather the stress better. My 600 leg lifts a night just aren't enough. But I couldn't bear to go outside today, despite how lovely the weather is. I just feel too fragile.

Anyway, sorry to go on like this about myself again, but that episode has me frightened...I will carry on, at a moderate pace, and tomorrow I get to rest, maybe make a collage, do whatever I want all day long.

How odd and yet how reassuring it is, that I never once thought of eating carbos, let alone sugar. It's just not on my list of options anymore. I'm living proof that it really only takes a few months to unlearn a lifetime's worth of bad habits. The brain is malleable, and it does change when you change your behavior! =smile=
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Current mini-goal: Get down to 260
Pounds to go: 12

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Mini-goal 1: 30 days binge-free —> done 12/21/13 & binge-free now
Mini-goal 2: Get down to 280 —> done 5/22/14
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Old 04-26-2014, 07:05 PM   #126
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Hi there everyone,

FleurDeLis- Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, that was very touching.

Thank you to others who are so supportive here. I'm a bit tired otherwise I would reply personally.

I'm glad to have a quiet weekend here at home.

Take care!

Amy
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Old 04-27-2014, 03:53 PM   #127
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonteCristo View Post
The no sugar thing really hasn't been that hard, surprisingly. I still crave a coke occasionaly, and I made my little brother let me smell his ice cream sandwich the other day, but on a day by day basis it has been really easy.
how did I miss this the other day
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Old 04-27-2014, 07:10 PM   #128
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Smile Hello!

Thank you for the kind "Welcome Back"s! It is harder than I thought it would be to get back on board with healthy eating and smaller portions. We went to a sled hockey banquet for our daughter today and I ate too much food and even some dessert. Yesterday, I felt hungry all day long..... but tried to make decent food selections. I took our 3 dogs a long walk with my hubby, which felt good. But I need to get my eating in check if I am going to lose the weight I so want to lose.

Fi: Thank you for explaining the BERP again. So sorry to hear about your rough night. The pain you described sounds just awful. I have not experienced much physical pain from depression; usually just mental and emotional. That is bad enough. I can only imagine having physical pain mixed in. Hope you are feeling much less fragile when you read this. Great that you did not even think of carbs or sugar during that whole stressful time!

Holly: I appreciate all of the you sprinkled on me. Please keep it coming! Your exercises sound difficult. Anything Jillian Michaels scares me!

Sabrina: It is amazing how knowing someone for such a short time can change your life forever! Did you name your little girl? Our son was named Sean. I treasure the 28 weeks (in utero) and 14 hours (after birth) that we had him in our lives. We were able to see lots of ultrasounds of our twins since it was a high-risk pregnancy. I am happy and thankful for that. Though our little ones lived so briefly, their lives had meaning and they will live forever in our hearts!

worththeeffort2: Keep up with your cardio and your hard work WILL pay off! "They" say that when you lose weight at a slow pace, you are more likely to keep it off, for what that is worth. "They" also say to get rid of your "fat clothes" ~ but I did that and regretted it when I (unfortunately) regained all of the weight I had lost (and more). I had to buy new, bigger clothes AGAIN, which really s*cked!!! It was expensive, time-consuming, and depressing. Just my 2 cents!

MonteCristo: That cracked me up, too, when you said that you "made" your little brother let you "smell his ice cream sandwich!" Hahahahahaha!!! At least that SNIFF was calorie-free!!!

Waving hello to everyone else! Here's to a healthy week ahead!
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Old 04-27-2014, 07:38 PM   #129
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worththeeffort- I know it's something I can do if I have to, but I think the main issue is that I don't want to do it. I'm handling being around children better (I don't cry when I see them anymore), but I get pretty sad and depressed. :/ I know I don't want to do this job long term. I don't have a choice, as we need to pay the bills, so I will go back. I'm sure it will result in a lot of sadness and depression. I have some job leads, so I'm positive.

Fiona- So sorry to hear about your rough night. I had never heard about that sort of depression where it actually causes pain. I'm so sorry you have to go through that. I hope you enjoy your day of and get to relax.

Ibelieveinme- Her name is Isabelle Francis. She truly has changed her father and I. We couldn't be more grateful that God blessed us to have her in our lives for 38 weeks(in utero). We only had the standard two ultrasounds, but while we were in the hospital, we took many pictures with our camera. Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (an organization where volunteer photographers take professional pictures of you and your deceased child for free) also came and took photographs of us. We will be getting those in the mail sometime this week. I'm so excited to see them!!!!!!!!!!

I know you will get back on track in regards to your eating with no problem!
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Old 04-28-2014, 06:11 AM   #130
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Sabrina/FleurDeLis: Prayers are coming your way. I hope the pictures of your precious angel Isabelle help to bring you peace. As a surviving sibling of a stillborn child, I'm glad you named your daughter. My mother refused to name her daughter so all my life, I've had a sister with no name. It is strange to not be able to refer to her as anyone but "My sister."

Today is wet and raw. Spring certainly is taking its time arriving this year. I wish, wish, wish I could just lay on the couch and do nothing all day today but I need to go to work. I have a feeling this is going to be a long week.
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Old 04-28-2014, 07:40 AM   #131
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Hello friends!


Kathleen
Sabrina
Ohio
Seabiscuit
Chelsea
lilturtle
Fi
worththeeffort2
Monte Cristo
projectjudi
1life2liv
alita

I hope I didn't forget anyone!

Fi, I am so sorry to hear of your awful night! I hope the next day you were able to rest and are back to somewhat normal

Kathleen, I have more for you, me, and anyone else who needs it I have remembered your words to me, that we need to do what we know, to get the results we want! We can do it!!

wortheeffort2, I wish you could take today off too Hope your day goes smoothly .

Hello to everyone else

we had the most dreary weekend, weather-wise. Today the sun is shining for now, and supposed to get up to 54 (wow ) this afternoon, I will use that as my incentive to do productive things until then and then I'll get on my bike

I realize I forgot to take my one Wellbutrin tablet yesterday, I am so glad that it doesn't mess me up terribly if I forget a day or two.

I hope everyone has a good day and I look forward to hearing from you all!
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Last edited by VermontMom : 04-28-2014 at 07:41 AM.
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Old 04-28-2014, 10:13 AM   #132
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I had a good day yesterday, a really good day. Since it was Sunday, it was my day off from working on the BERP. (i'll explain once again that it stands for Big Entropy Reduction Project, in my house—I could also call it the Big Paper Removal Project, but BPRP is hard to pronounce. =laugh= I'm a collage artist, the old-fashioned kind where your only tools are paper, scissors, & glue, so naturally I hoard paper. My husband and I also hoard books, so getting rid of lots of books is also part of the BERP.) In the morning I wrote part of a letter in French to my Belgian friend, Robine, but soon the itch to make art became too strong to resist, so I spent the rest of the day happily ensconced in my collage room. I have a new piece most of the way done, but it needs some finishing touches I'll do today.

And then, around 6 PM, our niece Margaret and her 7-yr-old son Gavin arrived, our weekly get-together with them. While Gavin played computer games in Bob's office, Margaret helped me kick off an ancillary project to the BERP, which is that of sorting all the clipped images I'm generating as I plow through magazines into a nice set of twenty boxes I bought at the Container Store. The boxes are all different colors and two different sizes: they're all quite large but short, so they slot nicely into a set of bookshelves, and I've put labels on them like "People" and "Plants" and "Planet Earth" and "Purple" and so on—ten boxes for different image categories and ten boxes for different colors & patterns.

We had a good time sorting away, each of us working from a two-inches-thick stack of clipped images, laughing as we learned how to make all the decisions involved. For example, does a cool-looking black-&-white pattern of marbles go in the box labeled "Little Things" or the one labeled "Black & White"? We went for the latter choice.

It was especially fun for me to fantasize about how fabulous it will be to take down the boxes from the shelves and look for images in them, once they're all nicely stuffed with clippings. Margaret is such a good buddy to me: we think a lot alike about art and fashion, visual imagery in general, and we love each other very much.

And then, for dinner, we ordered pizza as usual, with a big Greek salad for me. Mmmmm...feta cheese, red onions, kalamata olives, those cute wrinkly pale green peppers, and lots of crunchy fresh lettuce. I do love me some Greek salad! I never even consider having a slice of pizza anymore: it's so much not a food that I eat, it doesn't even look like food to me. Yay!!

Now, darn it, I've written so much, I don't have time to give personal greetings, because I really need to start my work on the BERP for the day! Later, I promise. Know that I am thinking about y'all and rooting for you to make healthy choices, as I sit with my scissors and the next big stack of magazines.

And worththeeffort2, I think your swimsuit is just smashing! I love black-&-white, and that's a very nice pattern—looks like palm tree fronds and other tropical vegetation... =smile=
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Current mini-goal: Get down to 260
Pounds to go: 12

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Mini-goal 1: 30 days binge-free —> done 12/21/13 & binge-free now
Mini-goal 2: Get down to 280 —> done 5/22/14

Last edited by Fiona W : 04-28-2014 at 12:41 PM.
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Old 04-28-2014, 10:16 AM   #133
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Hi All!

I had a great weekend. Thankfully after that little blip earlier in the week I made a few adjustments to my routine to keep from forgetting my meds again. Now they sit right next to my contacts...no way I'll forget now! Anyway, so I was pretty much back to "normal" by Friday. Friday evening is pizza and movie night, so I always go over to my Dads.

Aside from my "issues" I haven't really introduced myself much, so I guess I will now. I have a pretty big family, I'm the oldest of nine kids, and we were/are all homeschooled. My parents are divorced, and my mom moved away, so Dad is raising / homeschooling all the kids himself. We are all really close so I spend a lot of time over there. The oldest of my sisters is grown and lives in Texas, and the next one is a sophmore in college an hour away from us, but all the rest of the kiddos (18-7) are all still at home. I tend to just say "the kids" and people get confused and think I have a bunch of kids, but I'm just talking about my siblings. I'm an accountant and I live with my two cats Lyla & Alexei and my dog Sydney. My dad has a big real estate rental business that I grew up working in, and I'm currently building up my own.

Ok, so back to the weekend. So I had a great time at home watching movies and eating pizza (I will not give up pizza ever, ever, ever! lol). Saturday was the most productive day I've had in months. First thing in the morning I had to change out the burner element on a range for one of my tenants. Then I spend several hours in my yard getting it all cleaned up for spring. Took ages because I hadn't done anything for months, but it looks beautiful now. Of course, Sydney loved being outside with me. After I fninshed the yard and Sydney and I were chilling on the deck, another tenant called and said their A/C was out (it is always something, lol). So after a bit of digging around in the electrical system (and a long troubleshooting call with my Dad) I figured out that the transformer had failed. Replaced that, and A/C was as good as new! By the end of the day I was pretty worn out (and it was like 100 degrees in that attic where I was working), but it felt so good to get that much done. I have back and neck issues that usually cause me a lot of trouble, and yardwork is one thing that really sets it off, but amazingly I haven't had any pain!

So I was so pumped up from Saturday that I ended up waking up like 6am on Sunday (I'm a sleep until noon kind of person) ready to work on the flower beds in the front yard...and it was pouring rain. So I cooked up a meal for this weeks lunches and had a nice long snuggle with my pets. Then I always spend Sunday afternoon at home with the kids. And we watched youtube videos of cats for ages, which was pretty fun.

So all in all, I'm feeling about the best I've felt in months right now. Oh, and I'm down another 1/2 pound.

Sydney - 3yo lab mix


Alexei (L) & Lyla (R) - 3yo Amercian Shorthair Silver tabbies


Sorry this post ended up so long...I guess I was just in a sharing mood this morning!
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Old 04-28-2014, 12:29 PM   #134
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Fi - I'm so glad you had a good day with your niece and nephew, and your niece helping you is great

Monte Cristo - thanks for telling us about yourself! And <gasp> you can replace a transformer?! That is so kewl! I am so impressed and thanks for the pics of your fur babies, I do like cats but am def a dog lover too and the lab is sooo sweet looking.

Warmer here today and not raining, YAY. The weekend was miserable, cold and wet. So I have to make myself get out there and do yard work, it is not sunny, it's 50 degrees and overcast but I can work in that. Really wanted some more sun if I get out on my bike, maybe that will happen.

My exercise today was from Fitness Blender, http://www.fitnessblender.com/v/work...ut-at-Home/fg/
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Last edited by VermontMom : 04-28-2014 at 12:30 PM.
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Old 04-28-2014, 02:52 PM   #135
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Thanks everyone for all the comments. I am reading along with everyone and thinking of you all.

I had a good weekend. I did a lot of reading and some other fun activities. I didn't sleep much Saturday night, so Sunday I was exhausted all day but I got a good night's sleep last night. I find when I don't sleep I am hungrier. So sleep is important to weight loss. There is a connection I believe. Nothing much planned for this week. This time next week I will be close to boarding that plane to go see my mom. It'll be nice to go down there for a couple of weeks. I will be hitting the pool for sure down there. We walk in the water and then float in the deep end on noodles. The walking is still good exercise. I sitll have trouble walking on land. I don't walk right (with a limp due to arthritis in my knees) and it makes my back hurt rather quickly. So far the weight I have lost has made no difference in it. I can still only make it like a block on land before I really need to sit down. God, that is so embarrassing to admit. I'm so fat I can't walk like a normal person. It has prevented me from getting much exercise. Hopefully with more weight lost that will change.
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