Hi everyone,

I am so happy to have joined this group. You all are so inspiring and helpful. I really enjoy hearing how you are doing, and it is so reassuring to hear that I am not the only one who has day-to-day struggles.

On that note, I was hoping to get some advice. I tend to do very well during the week - disciplined eating, lots of walking, cooking, etc. When the weekend comes around, that kind of goes out the window. I really hate this cycle.

Do you have any advice here? I know I should just force myself to stay in, continue to cook, etc, but eventually that becomes so uninspiring.

One other question: what do you guys do when you get a major craving for not great food? Yesterday, I got the biggest craving for fast food, and I am wondering what strategies you have for avoiding these temptations, especially when in the early stages of building up discipline and good habits.

Thanks believe in me you are very nice for taking the time to resPond to all of us
it's been a little better so far

Hey folks. I haven't posted in a few days because I've been so angry at something Bob did Sunday night I haven't been able to get my brain to function. But I think I can talk about it now.

Sundays are turning into our regular night for having our niece and her 7-yr-old son over, and somehow the conversation around the dinner table turned to the subject of sweets. =sigh= I didn't join in, of course, but there the three of them were, chatting away about chocolate and cake and banana bread and so on, going on about what sweets they like, which ones they don't like. If I were to repeat all the things they said about foods that are mostly sugar, I know it would drive you guys batty.

But I actually felt pretty well-defended and was handling it OK, until my husband brought up this stupid Internet game that's all about...you guessed it: cookies. My nemesis. And of course since Bob was stressed by the social contact, he got sticky-obsessional and compulsive about describing absolutely everything about this cookie game, which apparently entails all different kinds of them, grandmas who bake them, factories that make them, planets that are covered with them, and so on and so on. Except that he wasn't saying "them" the way I did just now, he was repeating the word "cookies" over and over and over again, to the point where my brain got completely fried. So I asked him politely if he would stop talking about the game and stop saying the word "cookies." He looked at me, registered what I'd said, and then proceeded to keep going, describing more and more levels of the game, repeating the word "cookies" so many times, finally I blurted out, "Bob!! If there were someone at the dinner table who had just quit smoking, you wouldn't start going cigarette-cigarette-cigarette-cigarette, would you?" Which made everyone stare at me of course, and I got really embarrassed, so on top of being freaked out, I felt like a total fool.

I only quit binging on cookies at the end of November. It hasn't been that long, not to break a habit that lasted for decades. Thanks to what Bob did, I spent the rest of Sunday night, until 4 in the morning, in a painful state of cookie craving. Arrrrgggh! And he didn't really apologize, either. He acted as though I was unreasonable to be so mad at him.

Ever since that happened, I've had a really hard time getting food into myself. They say that restricting is the flipside of binging, that if you have Binge Eating Disorder (BED), which I'm in recovery from, that you run a risk of going to the other extreme, and restricting your food intake in a way that's self-destructive. It's all part of the anorexia-bulimia-BED spectrum of eating disorders.

Every time I take like a couple bites of salad or turkey, my stomach clamps down hard and starts hurting, like I'm not supposed to eat. I know it may sound like a great way to lose weight, but believe me, it's really miserable-making. Already, before this cookie game thing, I've been having trouble getting enough calories into myself. I rarely eat as much as 1000 calories a day, and I can tell that it's slowing my weight loss down, because I've been colder than usual and really lethargic and my stomach hurts a lot. That's been going on ever since my friend Robine cut off communication with me on January 29th.

The last two days...I've hardly been able to eat anything at all. I kind of tricked myself into eating some cheese sticks in the car on the way to the post office and back. But salad and sliced turkey, with some kind of fish about once a week, are the mainstays of my diet, and I'm having a heck of a time getting my stomach to accept them. This has never happened to me before, so I don't know how to deal with it. I've always been a binge-after-binge-after-binge kind of person. I've never had problems with restricting. I guess I need to find a book about it or something, but my brain is very fuzzy from being in semi-starvation mode.

Sorry to go on so much about myself, but I needed to talk about it and bring it out into the open, so it would be less scary. I'll let y'all know how things go. Tomorrow is another day. Maybe tomorrow I can talk Bob into making an omelet for me: I'm sure I could eat an omelet.

Hello (again.............................)!
 

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo frustrated!!! :( I just wrote out a LONG post which included major personals to idgie_marie and Fi.............. and I LOST the post!!! :mad: And now I have to go work out and do errands. Don't know when I'll be able to take the time to answer you two (and others) again. :( I will make it as soon as possible!

Basically, idgie_marie, I try to find a healthier alternative to what I am craving (e.g., craving a chocolate milkshake.....eat one chocolate kiss) when an intense craving comes on. I find that if I restrict myself too much, the "forbidden" item becomes even more attractive to me and I end up pigging out on it eventually. If I absolutely HAVE to have something, I try to just have one or two bites. That is PROGRESS, especially in the beginning!!! Remember that it is about PROGRESS and NOT perfection! It doesn't have to be all or nothing! Oh, and on the weekends, try to have some sort of PLAN. They say that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. I personally HATE planning ahead, but it really does help. I also like to really focus on the good things I did during the week (and how good I feel about myself when making healthy choices) and ask myself (before eating bad stuff or eating too much), "Is this really worth ruining all of the progress I made during the week?" I think about stepping on that scale and which action will take me to the desired result, and TRYING with all my might to choose wisely. It is so much easier said than done, but those are a few tips. I had written a bunch more, but oh well, it's lost in cyberspace!

Fi: I am so sorry that happened with Bob. Seems very insensitive to me, too. For me, communication is not a strong suit with hubby and I, so I just eventually need to LET GO of my anger and resentment in these situations. Not the healthiest option, I know, but the only way I can function again after such an incident. I try to talk about it if possible, but if he is being unreasonable, it is easier to deal with it on my own. It would be nice to have an apology or acknowledgement of some sort, wouldn't it?!? I hope you two will be able to discuss the situation and you can get some resolution. If not, just try to do your best to let the situation go and not beat yourself up about your "outburst" and don't keep replaying the situation in your mind. It is done with and YOU SURVIVED!!! That is the main thing. Life goes on. Use your "brain over binge" technique to fight off those cravings! You can do it, Fi! You are so strong!!! Sending you a big hug!!! :hug:

Okay, now I have to scoot! Doing pretty well on eating and exercise, but no more pounds lost.............. YET!!! I will NOT give up, darn it!!!!!

Hi Everyone, I am following along.

Holly, He wasn't in the hospital for 2 weeks thankfully, but he was for a week and then we stayed in town another week while his parents were here. It was exhausting! It kind of broke down all of my food resolve and exercise resolve and then I started crying again and hiding in my bed... Sigh!

Fi, I am thinking strong thoughts for you. I spent many years of my life unable to eat/without being sick and it is not easy. I didn't find a solution until I started treating my anxiety(and it took another year or two for it to help!), so maybe talking things out with Bob would help to relieve those negative feelings and open up your stomach again. Or like Kathleen said, maybe taking some personal time to come to terms with the situation(internally not just interactively with hubby) would provide some relief for you. Just keep trying, some days are going to have time when you feel like eating, or when it is easier. I hope that soon it will clear up for you and I will be sending happy stomach thoughts your way.

I am struggling. Food wise, mood wise. It is always nice to come here, it helps to keep my head out of the black hole. I hate it when I feel so down and out of my own control, even though life is going well and the sun is back even. idk.

Hugs to everyone!
Chelsea

I definitely dress differently. Are you kidding me? Now when I put on clothes or buy clothes (even though I am not at goal weight) if is not enough for them to "look good" as they did when I was larger. (Because it looking good would have been as good as it gets). Now they have to look spectacular for me to buy them. :)
But I do dress differently on days that I feel huuuuuuge. Oddly though, sometimes simply going to the gym for a little bit, or coming back from a Spin class, is enough to go from feeling huuuuuuuge to suddenly feeling fit.
I think feeling "fat" sometimes has more to do with endorphins. And whether or not you've got them running the gamut of the body at that moment. :)
But don't worry, with Downs always comes Ups.
Keep trusting yourself and sooner or later you'll just get more Ups than Downs.

Thanks so much, Kathleen and Chelsea, for the supportive comments. It helped me a lot to make that long posting about what happened on Sunday night and how it was affecting my appetite & eating. I think I just went through a few days of being really angry at food in general for making me so miserable. Today I've been able to eat my turkey & salad & cheese sticks on schedule, so I'm not having those semi-starvation stomach aches anymore. =whew=

Where is everybody? Where's Trish? I wrote her a private message, but she hasn't replied to it. I'm worried about her.

Hello sweeties,

I apologize for not checking in more. I started back to school and have been trying to adjust. The first 7 days was sooooooooo hard. My daughter was home from college and I could not get a schedule down and my anxiety went up. It was awful. I started to think I couldn't do school and having major doubts. I got some grades back and they were pretty good so I think I might be alright.


I have really missed posting here. My weight has not improved. I need for spring to get here so I can get outside. I need the sun.


My birthday will be here next month, I will be 47.


I promise to be here more often. I won't disappear again.

Hello!
 

Sorry I haven't posted the past couple of days. Things are the same here. I have had some slips in my eating lately, but still staying healthy for the most part. I skipped exercise the last few days. Need to get back on board with that ASAP!!! A bit frustrated with the constant vigilance required to lose any weight at all. :( But I will NOT give up!!! I can do it!!! :carrot:

ohiofreespirit: It's so great to hear from you! Sorry you had a rough week starting school, but good to hear that you are hanging in there and doing well with grades. You can do it!!! :)

Chelsea: Sorry to hear that you are struggling. :( Hang in there! Sending you a big hug! :hug:

Earthling: Good for you for waiting for the things that look spectacular on you! I like your advice for iris. :)

Fi: Happy to hear that you are able to eat on schedule again. I am glad that it helped you to post about that Sunday on here. Always feel free to vent here and share whatever helps you! We are here for you and we care! :hug:

I've got the flu, guys. I got the shot last fall, so I'm hoping my immune system will be able to knock it out of the park pretty quickly. I've completely lost my appetite, but I'm trying to keep shoving around 1000 calories a day into myself—can't seem to handle any more than that.

Fi
 

Fi: So sorry to hear that you have the flu! :( Hope you feel better soon! Sending a big hug! :hug:


Wow, did I ever go off my eating plan today while celebrating St. Patrick's Day! :o Back on board tomorrow morning. Need to get consistent with exercise again, too. I've slipped recently. Still working out with trainer twice a week, but not doing as much cardio on my own the past couple of weeks. :( Someone please send me some :dust: quickly!!!!!

I'm pleased to report that the flu or whatever it was is gone as today, but just to keep me on my toes, my silly ol' brain delivered some serious depression pain for a few hours this morning. Oh well. Tonight I finally finished a pesky collage I've been working on for so long I was sick of it. I'm hoping tomorrow I'll be back up to full speed on my art and my letter-writing, because I've signed up for so much stuff I can't afford to fall behind.

I'm still having trouble getting enough food into myself—just don't have any appetite. It's very weird, definitely not my usual style. I hope these low-calorie days mean I'm losing weight. Saturday is my monthly weigh-in, and already I'm wondering what the scale will have to say.

Now I need to sign off and try to get to sleep at a reasonable hour. I hope tomorrow will be a nice day, so I can take a stab at taking a walk. Or at least get back with the program with my leg exercises...I've really slacked off lately. =sigh=

Hello! I am sorry it's been so long since I've said hey here :(

:welcome: to the new chicks!! Yes this is a great supportive place

I am just disgusted with myself that I am so weak-willed to not be able to stick to normal calories or eating. Really bad, sigh.

Fi I was boiling with anger also about the c**kies story! sorry about the flu and hope it is gone. I have to say I have never had a problem getting enough calories INTO me but as that can be a problem also I hope your stomach probs stop. Can you describe what your leg exercises were/are?

Kathleen, here is some :dust::dust:

Ohio, yay to you for managing to go back to school and getting some good grades! :carrot:

Earthling, I LOVE your faith that 'with downs comes ups', that give me hope.

Chelsea, I am sorry that you are struggling...we think we'll be OK when things are going smoothly and the sun is out, and when it doesn't happen, it is rotten isn't it.

irisV62 WOW congrats on losing over 60 lbs!! :carrot: I hope you can adjust to deservedly feeling a heck of alot smaller :)

Hi idgie_marie :) I wish I had specific tips/advice for your question on how to stay on track on the weekends, I do awful all the time lately :( so I'm no help. My only saving from fast food is that there is one fast food place 5 miles from our home, lol and I am too lazy to go out for that.

Hi Desper8, I guess we have all had awful binges when we are not hungry yet we stuff anyway. There are specifics in our psyche that are making us do that and somehow we have to try to find why we need to 'fill' an empty that is not even there sometimes .

justagirl, that is so very tragic that your dad had that incident when you were so young and it has affected you ever since.

I have been sleeping SO much lately, I just don't care. I don't see any reason to get out of bed, on my days off. I mean, I do the basics..dishes, vacuum, take care of the dog, maybe work out..then back to bed :( I love summer so much, with my great summer job, my motorcycle, just enjoying the beautiful Vermont countryside, yet right now that seems so far away as to be impossible.

Also HATING my current winter job boss, that he takes tip money from the jar, the cheap b@stard!! and makes horrible and mean comments about "fat" customers. His wife does, also. I am so self conscious to try to eat in front of them, I have a 7 hour shift and come on, doesn't a person get hungry in 7 hours?? and I bring my yogurt from home and stand n teh corner to try to eat/slurp it down in less than 2 minutes but then a customer comes in and I have to put it down to wait on them, while the boss just watches me. I HAVE brought it up, that I want 5 minutes away from people to eat, and he is just an a-hole, 'oh, Holly needs time to EAT, well I guess we can change things around so Holly can EAT something' .

OK work rant over :rolleyes:

Oh I guess I do have something positive to say :p I had to go to our family doc for him to OK my Wellbutrin refill, I had not been to the doctor in over 2 years (usually just for antibiotics for sinus infections every 2 or 3 years) and he said he wanted to make sure I had a pulse, LOL.

So he did a mini check up, listened with stethescope, took blood pressure, and I had to step on the scale (160) but he said "that's a good heart" when he listened to my chest; and said my blood pressure was 'good' (I think 130/80)

I guess that is enough to keep me working out, even though I am not doing enough for weight loss, I am keeping my heart strong and managing good b/p.

VermontMom: that is wonderful to hear about your heart & blood pressure! I think you're right: sometimes we get so caught up in the number on the scale, but really, the reason we should be doing all of this hard work is to keep our heart healthy. I am so sorry to hear about your jerk boss. Just reading about him made my blood boil. I have also been struggling with fatigue lately, and I have all of my fingers & toes crossed that spring has finally peaked through.

Fiona: do happy to hear you are feeling better! Were you able to get outside for a walk? I hope so!

IBelieve: Sending you some will power dust! :)

The winter finally seems to have broke here in Chicago. Who knows if it will last, but it has been a big lift to my spirit. I have been struggling with chronic fatigue - just no energy - and working from home doesn't help that. It got up to 50 degrees yesterday, so my dog and I went on a nice 30 minute jog/walk. It was so lovely. I have begun the couch-to-5k program to have some type of structure.

Hope you all are doing well! Sending lots of positive thoughts! :)