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Heartbroken..

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Old 02-27-2014, 07:59 PM   #16
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Ever hear the phrase "We accept the love we think we deserve"? From what you said, his last girlfriend was a beeotch who treated him like a piece of trash. Just *maybe* he likes to date women who are self centered jerks and you are a wonderful friend, a person who he can confide in and talk to about everything.

Some women are the same way, perfectly nice guy wants to date them... uh, nope. Giant jerk face makes a move and.. *swoon*... they're in love.

Just my humble opinion. I avoid drama. When I dated my husband if he was a drama filled jerk of a guy, I would have been out like lightening. If he had been disrespectful or showed any signs he didn't value me, I'd be gone. I think it really says something that he has spent all this time with not so pleasant women. It says something about him, not you.
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Old 02-28-2014, 12:41 PM   #17
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I hope you are starting to feel better.

For another angle on this, he just may have honestly felt that he would never get into another relationship after that breakup. That may not have been a lie. I know I had that feeling after a bad break-up.

Chin up, you will get through this.
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Old 03-08-2014, 10:46 PM   #18
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I really feel for your situation. I've never been interested in dating, and I've only been in one relationship, so I felt highly unqualified to offer advice here... but I'm gonna try anyhow. lol

Although I've only been in one relationship, I've had feelings for two other guys in my life that I thought were swell. I can usually separate friendship and crush feelings in my brain, so when I liked these two guys I was pretty sure the feelings were mutual based on the way they acted around me. The first was in high-school, and he ended up dating our mutual close friend instead! I didn't really allow myself to become distraught over it, but I remember being disappointed because he saw me as "one of the guys" and nothing more.

Anyway, flash forward to when I was 19 and I developed a crush on one of my younger brother's friends. He was a senior in high-school, but very intelligent and such a nice dude. Again, I got that "one of the guys" comment.

These two experiences combined with a lifetime of never really being "that girl" who was asked out/flirted with made me feel like I was always destined to be the best friend. In fact, the one guy I WAS engaged to has contacted me recently saying we are better as friends. LOL It's almost funny when you think about it!

The reason I'm sharing my experiences is this. It can be ridiculously easy to confuse feelings or be on different wave-lengths with someone. In male/female friendships this can be particularly tricky, because you can have mutual feelings of like - a lot of like, even - but one could be thinking "romance" and the other could just as easily be thinking "best buddy." It can suck sometimes, and I am not trying to take your situation lightly, but it's extremely common for this to happen. Out of the two experiences I told you about, the second hurt me the most because A) I didn't see it coming because of the way he acted around me, confusing that general "I like you, you're cool!" for "I also crush on you hard core!" and B) I had lost 93 pounds and was finally over the "It's because I'm fat" mentality. Sometimes it isn't because we're fat, or have frizzy hair, or hate wrestling (yep lol), or whatever else. It's because... well, he wants you as a friend.

I can definitely guarantee that even though you liked him a lot, if you wait on the guy who mutually crushes on you, you'll be better off for it.

Okay, and I feel so weird for giving guy advice, but I did it! lol
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Last edited by Hamoco350 : 03-08-2014 at 10:48 PM.
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