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Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

Ups & Downs Support Group: February 2014

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Old 02-16-2014, 02:25 PM   #76
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Let's try this again!
Losing a regain of 31 pounds: 8.0/31 gone
Mini Goal 1 (again): 180.0
Plan: South Beach vegetarian

Last edited by penmage : 06-16-2014 at 08:44 PM. Reason: Deleted
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Old 02-16-2014, 08:26 PM   #77
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Red face Hello!

I am coming here instead of eating more food after dinner. I have been hungry all day long, it seems. Made some poor choices in the afternoon (eating extra stuff), but had a good dinner after working out for 30 minutes on treadmill and doing some step-ups on a step platform. I was really disgusted with myself this afternoon for eating extra when I have so much weight to lose, so I am happy that I was able to regroup this evening. I guess I need to focus on one meal and one workout at a time again..... and not just one day at a time. I am so sad and frustrated about what a serious food addict I am (or have become). I don't think I was always addicted to food. It became a problem after my difficult pregnancies (several years ago). We lost one of our twins (1st pregnancy) due to extreme prematurity. They were born at 28 weeks. Thankfully, our (surviving twin) 17-year-old son is alive and well today! Then we had another difficult journey when we learned (about 3 years later) that our daughter would be handicapped. We had her Spina Bifida lesion repaired in utero..... and that was downright surreal. Then, she was born at 31 weeks, so back to the NICU we went. I didn't sign up for THAT twice in one lifetime!!! Anyway, after each of these events, and with the toll it took on our marriage, food became my comfort. In addition, I began another healing journey from sexual abuse and major family-of-origin dysfunction around this time. I continue to touch base with my therapist when needed. I am doing so much better than back then and our marriage was miraculously saved, but the food addiction remains. I feel weak for not being able to conquer this problem.

penmage: I am so sorry that another guy disappeared on you. Please hang in there!!! You are NOT ugly and you are NOT fat!!! That was rude and insensitive of your mom, IMHO, to say what she did. If she wanted to offer help, it could have been stated much gentler. I get sick of people trying to "help" and make things seem so easy..... when they haven't walked in my shoes. Even at the age of 47, my parents aren't always very tactful when trying to "help." Sometimes, they drive me downright CRAZY!!! My point is that you are NOT alone. Keep on doing the best you can and all will be well.

Fi: You are SO strong!!! Great that you have not succumbed to the cookie monster during this stressful time!!! That is a HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT!!! You should be so proud of yourself!

Hello to everyone else!
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Old 02-16-2014, 11:08 PM   #78
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penmage— I just want to back up what Kathleen said: you are NOT ugly. I don't need to see your photo to say that, because your sweet personality comes through in your postings, and that personality is what lights up your face. These guys who bond quickly and then un-bond just as quickly are not what you are looking for: you want a real friendship, because the friendship is the foundation of any good relationship, and a real friendship takes time—face time, in person. Do you know what I mean, or am I just sounding old-fashioned?

Kathleen— Wow...that's some serious stress you've been through, for most of your life, it sounds like. I am SO impressed with how you've held your marriage and your family together! As for your turning to food for comfort, that's completely understandable. One of the truisms about overweight women (I prefer the term "fat" because it's just descriptive, but I can tell you don't like it) is that they get in the habit of give-give-give to everyone else in their lives, and the only way they give to themselves is food. It sounds like you're off to a good start, with your workouts, in giving more to Kathleen, but you need to develop some more ways that you soothe and comfort yourself. Reading, meditation, listening to music, a hobby, a class, taking naps...I'm sure you know the list. What do you like to do, or what have you always wanted to explore, that you've been denying yourself?
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Current mini-goal: Get down to 260
Pounds to go: 12

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Mini-goal 1: 30 days binge-free —> done 12/21/13 & binge-free now
Mini-goal 2: Get down to 280 —> done 5/22/14

Last edited by Fiona W : 02-16-2014 at 11:46 PM.
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Old 02-17-2014, 11:18 AM   #79
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Well it has been a while since I have been here. I have not really been trying to diet lately. I think with the holidays and several family birthdays over the last couple of months that I got off track. Oh and yes the exercising has not been going that well either. It is no wonder that I have been getting sick lately. So perhaps it is time to get back into some type of normal activity.
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Old 02-17-2014, 01:06 PM   #80
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pemage.....it is that guy's loss for just disappearing. You don't want a guy who will do that. Sometimes it takes a long time to find someone. I've been told they often appear when we aren't even looking.

My diet is going ok. Still haven't been weighed though. Sigh......maybe I need to just suck it up money wise and buy the scale.
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Old 02-17-2014, 02:32 PM   #81
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Let's try this again!
Losing a regain of 31 pounds: 8.0/31 gone
Mini Goal 1 (again): 180.0
Plan: South Beach vegetarian

Last edited by penmage : 06-16-2014 at 08:44 PM. Reason: Deleted
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Old 02-18-2014, 11:47 AM   #82
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good morning all, sorry it takes me so long between posts. I don't have internet access at home and i have to be cautious about how much time I am on the message board at work.

I hope that everyone is doing as well as they can. Life always seems to be throwing these challenges at us and it is impressive to see how strong all of you are and how well you manage each challenge. No one is perfect and sometimes we may slide backward a bit, but I do seem to notice that when that happens, I usually (not always) have an ah-ha moment that helps propel me even further forward than I was before.

I went to a psychiatrist and she has added Paxil to my already existing dose of Cymbalta. Seems that 120 mg of Cymbalta is the max dose they will prescribe. I get to start that tonight to see if it helps. Oh and she also added valium so I can sleep at night. I have a very hard time sleeping because of the pain that is non-stop.

So, now if I can only sew my mouth shut so i stop eating, the world will be peachy.
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Old 02-18-2014, 07:11 PM   #83
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Unhappy Heel Pain

Today, I ate much better than I have been, but now my heel hurts really bad and has since last evening when I did the treadmill at the gym. My hubby thinks I probably have plantar fasciitis. I feel like I can never get the whole picture right! I know my foot problems are not helped by the excess weight I am carrying, but I need my foot health so I can do cardio to lose the fat and weight! Arrrrrrgggggggh!!! I cannot tell you how frustrated I am!!! I ordered a special pair of shoes from Footsmart and a foot stretcher that helps plantar fasciitis and I bought some orthotics for pain in the heel/plantar fasciitis. I will do all I can to work around this condition until it heals, but I also want to just rest it if that is best. I will probably call my foot doctor to get advice. (I've had 2 foot surgeries on the OTHER foot in the past year. That has been the foot I've worried about..... until yesterday when this pain popped up.) I began taking Advil Liquigels today for the pain, which helps. I think I must have done it the night before last when I ran for one minute (during my walk) on the treadmill at home. I also did some step-ups at home, which I had only done at the gym until then. I haven't run since my 2 foot surgeries due to pain and swelling. I noticed that I was struggling on the treadmill at the gym last night, and ~ when I put my regular shoes on ~ my heel hurt so bad I could barely walk! I swear there is always something holding me back! And when there isn't, I hold myself back! I could just scream, but that won't help anything, so I am writing this to all of you. Thanks for listening to my rant!

Fi: You gave me some great "food" for thought! I am thinking about my answer to your question about what have I always wanted to do that I have been denying myself? I need to ponder that one for awhile. Thank you for sharing your insights. BTW, I ordered Brain Over Binge last week. It should arrive sometime this week or next (free economy shipping, so it's taking awhile).

meandu: Thank you for posting! Best of luck to you in getting back on track!

lilturtle: Glad to hear the diet is going okay! I hope you get to weigh yourself soon. That must be so frustrating not knowing! Keep on plugging away in the meantime!

penmage: Good luck with South Beach this time around! You can do anything you set your mind on!!!

Kat117: Don't worry how often (or not) you post. Just do your best to post when you can! It is always good to hear from you. Glad to hear that you went to a psychiatrist. I hope the addition of Paxil will help you! Your non-stop pain sounds terrible!!! Glad she gave you something to help you sleep as well. I sure wish your pain would subside. Hopefully, getting more/better sleep will help at least some. Haha, I need to sew my mouth shut to stop eating, too!!!

Waving hello to everyone else! Please post when you can to let us know how you're doing!
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Old 02-18-2014, 10:44 PM   #84
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Howdy folks! Sorry I was MIA for a few days...I got quite distracted by the issues with our niece with the 7-yr-old son for whom she needs an after-school babysitter. Some very good news on that front: I chose to exhale the negative energy of being angry at how Bob's sister treated him, and inhale the positive energy of how much I do care for this niece and am pleased that she's moved into a place that's just 1/2 mile away. (She's always been my favorite of our 4 nieces & 5 nephews.)

In other words: (1) I haven't even spoken to my sister-in-law about the whole thing and don't plan to; (2) on Sunday night Bob & I went over to our niece's new place to admire how she's fixed it up, meet & greet the youngster, and make tentative plans for Bob to pick up the boy after school at least 1 or 2 days a week, perhaps more, and take him home to play games, watch TV, or whatever he & Bob choose to do. We're also planning to have our niece & her son over to our house soon: Bob will keep the boy amused with computer games or TV, while I get to renew my longstanding friendship with our niece, and show her some art we have that might look nice on the bare walls of her new place. She even volunteered to help me organize my messy piles of books and art supplies! This deal could potentially work out great for all four of us.

Meanwhile, I'm continuing to work through my feelings about the break-up with my Belgian friend—every day a little closer to feeling at peace. My handful of new French-writing correspondents is a big help. And because the theme on my collaborative collage blog was "Love" this past week (for Valentine's Day), I even made another collage about the breakup, incorporating a French phrase that some of you might find useful...although I hope you won't need it!

Kathleen— Sorry to hear about your plantar fasciitis! I've had that before, so I know how painful it is and how long it takes to heal. Do you have any trails near you that you can take walks on? I find that my feet do much better when I'm walking on a earth/gravel type trail than on sidewalks or gym floors or treadmills: the earth is spongy and has some give to it, which is easier on your heels and soles. On the subject of food: I don't want to burden you with excess advice here, but have you made a habit yet of assessing your hunger and fullness on that -10 to 0 to +10 scale? I've found that if I consciously pause partway through a meal and ask myself what level of fullness I'm at, I'm quite comfortable with much smaller meals. You know the drill: when you get to +2 or +3, stop eating. You don't have to clear your plate, and when you do that little pause every time you eat, you'll find that you'll be giving yourself smaller portions quite naturally. The food is always there to warm up or whatever if you get hungry later. And if you only eat to +2 or +3, your stomach will shrink, adapting itself to your not eating as much.

Those of you who are at, over, or just under 300 pounds: Please consider joining us on the 300+ February Chat thread—in the 300+ support section. It's an amazingly supportive environment, and you'll get lots of positive feedback. I like to post both there and here—2 threads bring you double the positive energy! And those of us over or in the neighborhood of 300 pounds have a much longer journey ahead of us, so we have issues in common, like how to maintain focus over the long haul.
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Current mini-goal: Get down to 260
Pounds to go: 12

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Mini-goal 1: 30 days binge-free —> done 12/21/13 & binge-free now
Mini-goal 2: Get down to 280 —> done 5/22/14

Last edited by Fiona W : 02-18-2014 at 10:57 PM.
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Old 02-19-2014, 11:44 AM   #85
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Fiona I'm going to check it out. I get so overwhelmed at the amount of weight I need to lose so often. It feels hopeless at times. I've cut my calories by more then half and the weight should be falling off of me but I don't see it. A few people have noticed but I just can't tell. It's really making me feel like giving up.
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Old 02-19-2014, 01:11 PM   #86
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Hi Everyone, sorry I have been out. I can't really post much today but wanted to get some stuff off my chest. On thursday last week my partner was in a serious bike accident and we were at the hospital for 4/5 days. At first they thought he had a seizure, but after many many expensive tests have ruled that out as well as anything related to his heart. We are still dealing with a scapula that is broken all the way through in two places, and a concussion which has caused him to not remember anything that happened(wear your helmets!!!!) I haven't had a good cry about it yet, so am carrying lots of stress in my tummy which has caused me to not eat enough, and when I have been able to eat it has been something fast(read bad) so I could get back quickly. Also, since I have been at the hospital and at the hotel with his parents(they flew in from HI) I haven't done any exercise at all. Aaaand my hands are doing terrible. I dreamed last night that I could wear skinny jeans and was super thin and stuff, then woke up this morning still squishy. BAH.

Sorry for the yucky negative post, I'll try to get back to each of you soon and in the mean time am sending hugs and good thoughts. I wish I could do more.

Chelsea
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Old 02-20-2014, 11:19 AM   #87
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Unhappy Oh my gosh!

Chelsea: I am so sorry to hear about your partner's bike accident!!! That sounds awful! Was it a bicycle or motorcycle? Yikes! No helmet?!? Scary stuff!!! He is lucky to be alive! Yes, you are carrying a lot of stress from this and everything else. Allow those tears to flow if need be! Sometimes a good cry really helps! Be patient with yourself during this rough time. I am sending you BIG HUGS!!!

Fi: Good for you for reframing this thing with your sister-in-law in a positive light! Yes, exhale the negative and inhale the positive energy! Right on! Glad to hear that you are getting closer to a place of peace each day after the break-up with your Belgian friend. You just keep making those collages. Just looking at them, I can tell they would be therapeutic! You do great work! I don't really have any trails nearby, other than paved walking trails/paths. I am babying this foot and icing it, and it is beginning to feel a bit better already. Spoke with the nurse at podiatrist's office yesterday and got some guidance for treatment until it feels better. She said to keep a close watch because it can easily become a chronic condition. I definitely do NOT want that!!! So I will take it easy while it heals. I was able to ride the bike yesterday at the gym (okayed by dr.) and worked out with weights with trainer this morning. I just HAVE to keep moving so my weight loss program doesn't suffer. I feel ready to lose this weight now. Interesting enough, I am reading Geneen Roth's workbook called Why Weight? and she advises having a dialogue with your/my fat. As odd as it sounds, I did the exercise and it really helped me. I realized that, in addition to food, my fat has become a companion through some really tough times for me. And as painful as those times were and as much as I hate the fat, I am hesitant to let that part of me go. Wow! What an insight that was! Thinking it through, I have made a conscious decision that I DO now want to let go of the fat. I am ready to move on from that part of my life. My life is much better now and those tough times are over. I do not need the fat to be my companion anymore and it isn't protecting me from anything! My new healthy body will be a better companion than my fat body ever could be. I will feel better and my outside will match my inside (which is much healthier now). Anyway, I have tried to keep Kathryn Hansen's hunger scale in mind, but I so easily forget all of my tools when eating. I am really working on eating only until satisfied, because I have developed a bad habit of eating until I am full. Then, I feel overly stuffed moments later. I don't like that feeling anymore. Also, as you said, I need to shrink my stomach with smaller portions so that I am satisfied with less food. I appreciate you reminding me of that hunger scale. Your advice is always wise and helpful and I welcome it!

Trish: I know what you mean about feeling overwhelmed with the amount of weight you need to lose. I feel that way, too, since I am at a new all-time high. Sometimes, I feel like giving up, too, but I have made a conscious decision that I will NOT give up on myself. I don't want to just "let myself go!" I will lose this weight or go down fighting!!! Fi's over 300 pound group sounds great! I hope you will check it out and get support there, too! You really do deserve to be healthy! Try to take things one day and even one meal at a time. You WILL get there one pound at a time! Remember that the weight didn't come on overnight, so it won't come off overnight either. I can't seem to get that through my thick skull! I want immediate results and tend to want to give up when I don't get them. But I will NEVER give up on myself! And I hope that you won't give up on yourself either!
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Old 02-20-2014, 11:32 AM   #88
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I'm not doing well with the other extreme. I've probably only had about 1000 calories the last two days combined. I've been kind of down and stressed though. I just don't feel like cooking and for the most part all the food I have needs to be cooked. I never find a healthy balance.
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Old 02-20-2014, 11:39 AM   #89
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Stressed for my sister who is having some boyfriend issues. They've been together a while now (over a year) and since graduation, she's starting to doubt his work ethic and at this age that's not a good thing. He's been looking for work for months now with NO MONEY being put away into savings. I know the economy is hard, but he's had experience as a waiter. As least try and get something part time so a little bit is being put away.

I'm worried. They're so good together, they motivate one another, and they click so well, but financial crisis can put a huge strain on relationships, and if he doesn't put forth some more effort, I'm afraid things are going to get rocky over here. =(
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Old 02-20-2014, 10:40 PM   #90
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Let's try this again!
Losing a regain of 31 pounds: 8.0/31 gone
Mini Goal 1 (again): 180.0
Plan: South Beach vegetarian

Last edited by penmage : 06-16-2014 at 08:43 PM. Reason: deleted for privacy
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