- Hey, at least you're exercising! I'm the opposite of you. I've got the eating pretty well straightened out (although I'd absolutely eat a bread sandwich with a side of bread right now), but I'm piteously behind on the exercise. Maybe we should help each other
And no, I'm not a Buckeye fan (I know, I know...), but in my defense I grew up in the South and didn't move up here til 22. So my football allegiance was already set! Also, I'm sending you a PM.
- Cheers for an anxiety-free day! And way to go at the gym. I saw Despicable Me 2 when it was in theaters. I think I liked the first one more, but not by much! They were both super adorable. I want a minion.
- I'm sorry you're having refill problems! I hate the stupid finger-pointing game of "Who messed up". I don't CARE who messed up, the pharmacy needs to give me my PILLS.
Did you end up being stuck inside today? We got less snow than forecasted, and I initially thought I'd be stuck inside too. Granted, I didn't go anywhere anyway, but I COULD have!
I'm doing fair today. During the day it's much easier to distract myself, but nights are hard. I brought my cat into my room early this morning (like 3am) to cuddle with me so I could fall asleep.
I'm not overly bothered by what my former-friend did (obviously I didn't appreciate it and I'd prefer if it hadn't happened, but it could have been taken sooo much further, you know?), what I was bothered about was how Justin would react. He has a history of being cheated on, and I was afraid if he found out later, he'd think I invited the attention and deliberately kept it from him. So I told him the truth when it happened, hoping he'd see that I'm being honest and I'm not like his exes. Before this, we were just fine. Clicked great, texted most every day, talked on the phone a couple times, no problems. And then this. And now *poof*
The match is still open on e-Harmony and we're still friends on Facebook, but it's been 2.5 weeks now. Admittedly, I'm sort of giving up hope that he'll get in touch with me, but I can be stupidly optimistic at times, so there's a teeny little thread hanging on desperately.
I have sort of a rough dating history myself (dated a guy who turned out to be a molester, then I was engaged to someone who was emotionally manipulative and had an anger problem, then the most recent boyfriend told me to pick out a ring and then broke up with me weeks later because he just wanted to be friends), but I finally thought I'd found a good one, you know?
Is it too much to ask for something to go easy for me?
Have a great, safe evening all! You guys are the best.
[Added early 2/6 instead of making new post]
Ugh. Bad night, guys. I have texts and pictures from Justin I can't bring myself to delete. And any time I try to listen to a voice mail, it plays one he left me a few weeks ago first, back before he disappeared, and I can't bring myself to delete that either. So I have to hear it every time I miss a call and they leave a message. I feel pathetic being so broken up over this whole situation, but I really thought he was the one. Which I know sounds silly considering we've never even met in person yet (if ever...), but I feel like, sometimes you just know, and I knew. In that way that you know the layout of your house even in the dark. I suppose I metaphorically "stubbed my toe" in this instance though!
Even if he decides he's no longer interested, is it too much to ask to have him, oh, I don't know, tell me? At this point I don't know if it would hurt more or less than this horrible limbo. Maybe he needs time to process it, like Holly (I think it was you, Holly) said. And maybe I'm looking at this from a girl perspective, but if something awful happened to Justin, I wouldn't disappear for 2 weeks to think about it!! What all is there to process about "I went to a friend's house and he sexually assaulted me, so I left and called you because I care about you and don't ever want you to think I'm a cheater like your exes" ?
I just... I don't understand. He's sent me amazing texts, telling me how I'm the woman of his dreams, he can't wait to have me in his arms, I'm his one fish in a sea of a million... and then to just disappear! Am I so desperately lonely and so desperately wanting to be loved that I got played?
Part of me is pathetically hoping that he's just been insanely busy (I know one week, previously, he worked 97 hours. So it's possible) and will get back to me. The rational part of me is saying if I really mattered to him, he would have found time in the last 2.5 weeks to text me or call or message me on Facebook. Sometimes I don't like the rational part of me.
But even then, if he does show up, would I even really want to be with someone who could ignore me for weeks at a time? Where I'm clearly going to be second string behind his work? I told a girlfriend of mine, about a month ago, that if he really works as much as he says he works, I can kinda see why his previous girlfriends cheated. Being ignored is freaking lonely! Not that that's any excuse, I just understand the reasoning.
And to add just a bit of levity to the situation (because otherwise I'm seriously going to cry), the "creepy stalker" in me wants to look him up in the phone book and show up on his doorstep this weekend and be like "WTF dude?"
Sorry for the epic add-on. I just needed someplace to let it out. I can't talk to my parents, as they don't know about what happened, and they're not good "talking" people anyway. I'm glad I have you guys!!