Overwhelmed but still fighting - returning member! (x-posted)
It has been a LONG time since I was posting on 3FC - I was in college, living in the US, and lost a lot of weight, but unfortunately a good chunk of it was through purging along with diet and exercise. It's been what, 6 years now? 8? I'm now going to be 26 in two days, living in East Africa, with my husband and two recently adopted children, 4 and 5 years old. I'm also running a nonprofit supporting their orphanage and trying to raise enough money to create a children's village for the kids to stay in when they reach five and would otherwise start boarding school (PM me if you want the website!). I'm stupidly busy and WAY over committed and generally exhausted, and back up to about 190 pounds.
I have no energy to spend on eating well, and eating at ALL in this country can be difficult - everything is made from scratch, and the power and water are intermittent at best. We're currently on day 7 (YES, seven) without running water in the house, for example. Fruit is great and cheap and easy to get, but can make you really sick if you don't wash it well enough, and I still don't eat enough of it. My husband and I are usually so tired at the end of the day that we cook the kids spaghetti and hot dogs or something similarly uninspired, and then around 9 or 10 pm drag ourselves out of bed for whatever food we can throw together. And chocolate is one of the few luxuries we can get, so it's hard to resist!
The internet often only works in the middle of the night, so my sleep patterns are also seriously messed up because I'll stay up all night working and then try to sleep during the day. I am a million miles from my normal support system and have a billion people counting on me, and I'm terrified I'm going to let them all down. Finding the energy to care about how I eat when I'm going through all of this is really hard, but I think I need to do it if I want to start feeling better.
I am really hoping to get a few things out of being back on the forum - paying more attention to what I'm eating, getting tips and ideas from other members on how to eat healthy when you're insanely stressed and overwhelmed, and frankly depressed, and maybe even some social support - it's SO TOUGH in this country and I feel alone a lot of the time. It would be great to connect with other moms, especially adoptive moms, and pick your brains on how not to totally screw up my kids. I adore them beyond all reason, and they know that without a shadow of a doubt, but I worry that my stress and anxiety is affecting them. Which of course makes me more stressed and anxious. Love it.
Thanks for reading, I'm trying hard to take the first steps to feeling better, so it would mean a lot to hear from you!