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Ups & Downs Support Group: December 2013

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Old 12-01-2013, 04:58 AM   #1
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Smile Ups & Downs Support Group: December 2013

Hello Everyone! If you have been following along, this group started at the thread "Looking for Support Buddies." We formed a nice little support group and decided on the title Ups & Downs. This is the new thread ~ the first listed under this title. If you just found us, to the group! I hope you will join in so we can keep the support flowing. If you found your way here from the original thread, thank you so much for following us to our home. This is our space. Please write as much or as little as you want about your own personal Ups & Downs on your weight loss journey. We can only learn from each other if everyone is willing to pitch in and post something. My sincere hope and prayer is that each person who joins the group will take at least one positive thing out of it and also contribute at least one positive thing to the group. There are so many resources out there for weight loss help, and I want this to be a positive, supportive, peaceful place where we can come together and help one another along this road of Ups & Downs. We decided on this title since the weight loss journey is often filled with ups and downs, and because life ~ especially life on medication ~ is full of ups and downs. Let us hope for more Ups that we can share, but also prepare for and support each other through the Downs! Anyone who is willing to be a positive support for others and/or is seeking such support is welcome here.
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Old 12-01-2013, 05:23 AM   #2
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Smile Hello members!

Fi (Fiona W)! I am so relieved and happy to hear that your traumatic experience of sitting around the Thanksgiving dinner table was in the past!!! I am sorry that you experienced it at all, but I was thinking, "Wait, I thought she wasn't going to her sister-in-law's dinner. What happened?!?" Thank you for that clarification. I am sorry to hear that you experienced such a profound sense of loneliness on Thanksgiving day when your husband was away at the gathering. It sounds like you have some insights as to why you were lonely, though, which is great! I also think it is good that you identified and acknowledged what you were feeling in the first place. Often, that is the first step. Did your husband enjoy the gathering? Did you tell him about your loneliness while he was away? Just curious. You don't have to answer that if it makes you feel uncomfortable in any way.

Chelsea (CDubsGotGoats): Did you find us here and how are you doing? Congrats on not overdoing it on the pizza the other day!!! That is wonderful progress and that's what it's all about! Thanks for sharing!

lilturtle: I sure hope you find us here and continue to join in. I want to support you during your potential lapse in medication. How is that going, BTW? Any new developments or sources of help? Hugs to you!

shr1nk1ngme: It sounds like you are doing well! Your yams and sugar-free pumpkin dessert sound yummy! I hope you were able to get back down to low-carb eating again the next day. Either way, I hope you find us here and join right in!

seabiscuit (Amy): Are you still around? I hope so! Please tell us more about Overeaters Anonymous. I have been curious about it for awhile. Do you think it is helping you?

ladyrider: Are you here? Please post, if so! We care about you, too!

CrystalClear: How 'bout you? Did you find us here? I hope you will join in!

These were the people that had posted at the original thread. If you just found us, PLEASE POST and tell us a little bit about yourself! You are a member of the group if you are willing to post and be a positive support to someone else. You will be glad you did!

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Old 12-01-2013, 12:41 PM   #3
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Hi Believe-

I'm still here! I was away for a few days and I am under the weather. I like OA, I have a sponsor and I go to meetings. It is a twelve step program, there are face to face meetings, online and phone meetings. It is not a diet, it's a way of living. I think OA is helping me, I like it.

Take care.

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Old 12-01-2013, 01:39 PM   #4
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Smile Hello seabiscuit!

seabiscuit: I am so happy that you are still with us and found the new thread! I hope the others make it over, too. OA sounds great! I have thought about finding a group near me, but I am afraid to commit to it. That is one reason I started this group. I need the support of others, but don't really want to join a face to face group right now. I hope we can be a nice supplement to your OA group. Please feel free to share any insights that you learn at OA with the group. Thanks for posting!
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Old 12-01-2013, 03:31 PM   #5
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Thumbs down P.s.

seabiscuit: I am sorry to hear that you are not feeling well. I am just now getting over a bad cold. It is that time of year.
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Old 12-01-2013, 06:14 PM   #6
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IBelieve— Yeh, my husband knows I was lonely on T-Day, but I'm not sure he gets what an enormous effort I'm putting into this weight loss project and binge-free project. I'm trying to do it one day at a time, but I've been reading so many good books about how to get free of emotional overeating, it's a strain on the brain. This afternoon I had some severe depression symptoms, but they got better after the sun set: that's typical for me.

Anyway, it's great to see the new thread up and running! Thanks for the work you've done to make this a good place to come and support each other!
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Mini-goal 1: 30 days binge-free > done 12/21/13 & binge-free now
Mini-goal 2: Get down to 280 > done 5/22/14

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Old 12-01-2013, 07:04 PM   #7
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Hi Believe-

Thank you for your kind words and get well wishes. I am feeling better but I am a bit tired. I want to try to not overeat, well I have been trying, sometimes I do better at it than others.

Have a good night.

Amy
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Old 12-02-2013, 01:03 AM   #8
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Smile Good Night!

Fi: Happy that you have jumped onto the new thread with us! Sorry you have experienced some depression symptoms today, but happy to hear that they did subside. Interesting that you typically feel better once the sun sets. I tend to get sad when the sun sets. I'm not crazy about the dark. I guess we all have our own unique emotional patterns. Please share the titles of the good books you are reading about emotional overeating. I probably have some of them. I tend to strain my brain with all of the information in self-help books, too. But every little kernel of knowledge helps in this difficult journey we are on. I can relate when you say that your husband probably doesn't understand how much effort you are putting into your weight loss and binge-free journeys. I feel the same with my husband. Since my body is still carrying all of the excess weight, it appears that I am not trying, but I am working on the inside of me right now, which might be the most challenging part of this whole ride. I need to get right on the inside, though, if I am going to be able to make the changes I need to make on the outside. I need to work on loving myself enough to make myself and my health a priority in my life. Since I have so much baggage from the past, this is not an easy task! Although I have come a long way, I still feel like I have quite a bit more work to do on the inside. Hopefully, I will be able to tie it all together one day soon! I will NOT give up on myself. I just won't! BTW, congratulations on 10 days of NO emotional eating!!! That is awesome!!!

seabiscuit: I am happy to hear that you are already feeling better! Hope you get your energy back soon. Thanks for posting! It is great to have you here.

CDubsGotGoats, lilturtle, and shr1nk1ngme: How are you? Please post as soon as you can ~ if only to let us know you found the new thread. Hope you are all okay.

Have a great week, everyone!!!

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Old 12-02-2013, 09:23 AM   #9
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Hello Long time Depression section poster, I have been on WellbutrinXL for years now. I gained with Lexapro and still felt suicidal so obviously that was not working for me, and made the switch to Wellbutrin about 7 years ago.

I find I can easily, so easily let myself slip into a down mode just by negative thinking, and I can fight it, depends on how much oomph I am feeling. Generally pretty content but terrible self-image and always, always comparing myself to others.

I can't seem to get down to goal, I just eat too much, and the wrong things; I do work out almost every day though.

I know Seabiscuit and Ladyrider and am looking forward to getting to know others here
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Old 12-02-2013, 12:01 PM   #10
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Well, I've had enough of this depression: my shrink told me to call him if I continued feeling bad, so I'm doing that today. Ever since I got off the Effexor, I've really been dragging. If it were "just" blue moods and low energy, that would be one thing, but I experience even moderate depression as physical pain, like a cleaver jammed into my chest. If I were feeling that right now, no way could I be writing this posting, but I tend to do better in the mornings and evenings: afternoons are my h*** times. Anyway, please don't fret over me: I have hope that between my shrink and me, we'll find a solution.

Holly 'Nice to meet you! That is SO cool you are a biker chick: I bet your ride is gorgeous! I love candy-apple red.... I know what you mean about the negative thoughts tending to drive down one's mood. You're probably long since familiar with the concepts of cognitive-behavioral therapy, but I'll just say that I got a lot of help from David D. Burns's Feeling Good, because it enumerates all the different forms of distorted thinking during depression. I also got the book of his that's a workbook with exercises you do: just following the practice of writing down my negative thoughts, identifying what types of distortions they were, and then challenging them, on paper, with positive statements, was really a life-saver for me, back in the 1980s when I had my first big episode. Even all these years later, when I have a negative thought, I try to say, "That's a depression thought of type X or type Y," and then detach myself from that thinking.

IBelieve Speaking of detaching oneself from unhealthy thinking, the book I read just a few days ago that has the potential to be a real game changer for me in the area of emotional eating is Kathryn Hansen's Brain Over Binge. (You did ask what I'd been reading... =grin=) Hansen's personal story of being severely bulimic w/ exercise purges is quite different from my own of rather more restrained binges w/o purges, but nonetheless I am very excited about her simple but powerful technique for how to stop binging once and forever. I don't want to spoil it for you by giving a lame summary: if any of y'all suffer with having strong cravings for unhealthy foods, you owe it to yourself to read this book. Hansen writes very well and really takes you deep into that moment when an urge for emotional/compulsive/binge-type eating is upon you, and tells you what to do in order not to give in.

Amy I hope you keep telling us more about your experiences with OA. I've never been to one of their meetings, but when I was first trying to get a handle on my emotional eating, I found the concept of abstinence to be very helpful. Except instead of calling it "abstinence" I called it "taking a vacation." I took a long vacation from my Big 3 trigger foods (cookies, candy & donuts), in which I pretended that they were out in the world somewhere bothering other people, but they couldn't bother me because I was on a sailboat (see my ticker) having a grand old time, with no cell phone or any other way to reach me. I was astonished by how much easier that was than my previous pattern of "whiteknuckling" through protracted battles with my urges to overeat. I'd be curious to hear about your experiences with abstinence, or whatever else you've learned from OA that has been helpful.
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Current mini-goal: Get down to 260
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Mini-goal 1: 30 days binge-free > done 12/21/13 & binge-free now
Mini-goal 2: Get down to 280 > done 5/22/14
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Old 12-02-2013, 12:36 PM   #11
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Hi, Just a check in to let you know that I found the thread! I will get on later to check on how everyones weekend went, and share how mine went as well.

Thank you all for checking on me!!!
Chelsea
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Old 12-02-2013, 02:28 PM   #12
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Cool Checking In!

Holly (VermontMom): Welcome to the group! I am so glad that you posted here. I feel the same as you described about feeling generally content (after years of working on my depression) but having a terrible self-image which tends to drag me down. I am working so hard on myself that I drive myself (and my family) crazy half the time, but I am determined to improve my self-image and self-esteem so that I care enough about myself to lose this excess weight. Neat that you already know seabiscuit and ladyrider! I hope that you will enjoy this group and get something positive out of it. You add to it just by posting. Hope to hear from you again soon!

Fi: So sorry that you have been dragging and battling depression, but happy to hear that you are calling your shrink to do something about it. That is a wise move. Hope he will be able to provide some relief for you. BTW, you are worth fretting over and I am concerned about you, so please let us know how things go for you. I just want you to feel better! Thank you for yet another book title for me to explore. It sounds like I need it, but I have others to read, too. Would you put this book (Brain Over Binge) before the other 2 you recommended earlier or suggest reading those first? [I already have the other 2 you mentioned. Just need to read them.] I appreciate all that you share with the group!

Chelsea (CDubs): Thanks for checking in! Happy to know that you are still on board!

lilturtle and sh1nk1ngme: YooHoo!!! Are you still with us? I sure hope so! Waiting to hear from you! Hope all is well with both of you.

ladyrider and CrystalClear: Hope to hear from you as well!

Food has gone pretty well so far today. I still need to exercise. Will aim to check in before bed. Sending my best to all of you! Please post when you can.
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Old 12-02-2013, 02:41 PM   #13
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Talking Hi

Hi there!

Fiona- I am glad that you and others are interested in my experiences with OA and the OA program. I had over 90 days abstinence before, at times it did feel like white-knuckling but I think I was better off without a lot of the foods that were causing me trouble. I am struggling to get abstinent again but I am refraining from a lot of the trouble foods, and I feel so much better without them. I ordered some AA materials, one of the books came today. AA and OA are very similar because they are both twelve step programs and they both involve refraining from substances. I wanted to go to my OA meeting today but I have a cold so I stayed home. I like the online meetings, they are very supportive.

Holly- Welcome to our group!

Take care, everyone. HUGS!

Amy
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Old 12-03-2013, 09:01 AM   #14
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Well, I called my shrink yesterday. He and I decided together that I should try going back on a low dose of Effexor. He says he has another patient who's on both Cymbalta and Effexor, so it's not totally unheard of. Sometimes I think I need more meds at higher doses just because of how big I am!

It will be at least a few days before I see if this change makes a difference, but already I feel more hopeful, just that we did something.

IBelieve In response to your question about whether you should read Kathryn Hansen's Brain Over Binge before your other books, I'd say it depends on whether you identify yourself as a binge eater. Do you get intense cravings for unhealthy food? Do you have episodes where you eat more than you usually would in a short period of time, feeling out of control as you do so? Do you do this out-of-control eating in secret and/or alone? Do you have feelings of shame &/or disgust afterwards? Those are the characteristics of what's called Binge Eating Disorder (BED). I only just recently realized that I do have BED. What Hansen's book is enormously helpful for, is learning how to say "no" to those urges to binge.

'Wishing everyone a happy Tuesday... I hope y'all will all check in every day, if you can, for support on your weight loss project! =smile=
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Current mini-goal: Get down to 260
Pounds to go: 15


Mini-goal 1: 30 days binge-free > done 12/21/13 & binge-free now
Mini-goal 2: Get down to 280 > done 5/22/14
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Old 12-03-2013, 09:38 AM   #15
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Red face Healing Tears

Fi: I found The Emotional Diet book, by Bill Cashell, last night and dove right in. When I got to the part about seeing myself through another's eyes, I chose my son who died shortly after birth. As I saw myself through his eyes and read the meditation in the book, tears began to flow freely. What was so profound for me was that I was able to feel my goodness (through my son's eyes) and cry for myself about some traumatic things I went through in my past. This was so good for me to experience, because I have a lot of difficulty connecting to my own worth and sadness for myself and the little girl I was. Even in therapy, I can discuss the way I feel without really connecting to the emotions and truly feeling them, so this was very cleansing and helpful for me. Thank you so much for recommending that book. I noticed that I had read part of the book back in 2010, but never finished it. I think at the time I wasn't aware that I was truly a food addict. This time, I am committed to reading the entire book and doing the exercises in it. I think the book is going to be especially helpful to me in my quest to FREE MYSELF from my obsession with food. It is especially helpful because it refers to online tools that can be used as a supplement to the book. I am excited for what lies ahead in the book and for the continued healing to come! Such a great resource!

I am so happy that you are already feeling hopeful since you have worked out a plan with your psychiatrist. There is no shame in going back on a low dose (or even more) of Effexor if that is what your body needs to function at optimal mental health right now. Relief is just around the corner! Hang in there!

Amy: Please tell me about the concept of abstinence from OA. I am confused about it. I have some OA books, but I never get too far in them because I struggle with this concept. I think I am equating abstinence with NOT eating at all, which is obviously impossible. Any light you can shed on it for me would be helpful.

Waving hello to everyone else! Please post when you can!
Here's to a great day!

Last edited by IBelieveInMe2 : 12-03-2013 at 09:39 AM.
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