Hi! I, too, am recovering from major depression and anxiety. After one manic episode years ago, I was diagnosed bipolar (and apparently will always have the diagnosis and meds to go with it). I have been on anti-depressants, mood stabilizers, and anxiety meds for a very long time now, and ~ while one horrible side effect has been significant weight gain ~ I thank God that the medications (along with long-term therapy) have helped me to cope and be (somewhat) productive in my daily life. It sounds like maybe you would benefit from an anti-anxiety med (I take Buspar daily and Klonopin only as needed) more than an anti-depressant, but I am no doctor. Tell your therapists and doctor about your anxiety and if you feel any tendencies toward depression, so that they can guide you in the right direction. I highly recommend cognitive behavioral therapy for depression, anxiety,
and weight loss! It has taken awhile, but I finally found the right combo of meds for me and after years of therapy with a few different therapists, I finally feel like myself again. I couldn't have done it without therapy, meds, and especially (last but certainly NOT least) my strong faith. That is just my 2 cents. I understand your hesitancy to go on meds, but if they can enhance the quality of your life, it might be worth it. If you do go on meds, ask the doctor to first try meds without weight gain (or with
minimal weight gain) as a side effect. And, whatever you do, DON'T go on Zyprexa!!! I gained 60 pounds in less than a year because of the drug and the insatiable appetite it gave me. Still trying to get the weight off!
Best of luck to you!!! Trust your gut and your doctor (if he/she is trustworthy)!!!