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How to get over a broken heart?

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Old 04-28-2013, 08:20 PM   #1
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Default How to get over a broken heart?

Sorry if this might be a bit long..

So there was this guy and we met at work. He was my boss. We started out as friends but when I was promoted we grew closer and it slowly led to us being more then friends. We became close (talking every day, hanging out and such) and intimate but never made anything official. (I think it was the age thing I was 24 and he was 39) well we stared working together again at the same office but we were still intimate even though it was against company policy.

Well someone it reached corp. that we were together and a lot of drama happened. The vice president pulled him into his office and told him if he even heard a word that we were so much as talking they would fire him.
I ended up quitting but didn't want to end our relationship. I tried to still talk to him but he ignored me and finally blocked my number for 90 days... its now been about seven months and I find that I still think about him daily...

Please help. I miss him so much but he refuses to talk to me..the last time I heard from a mutual friend he asked her about me a few times but me and her had a falling out so I no longer talk to anyone at that corp. anymore..

its effecting my mood and weight and I'm the heaviest I've been in a long time.. I just don't know what to do..
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:29 PM   #2
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I know most people won't think the age difference is a big deal but I do. What he wants in life and what you are going to want are two different things and in the end it never would've worked out anyway. He's 40 and BTDT, you're 24 and haven't even begun your life yet.

He blocked your number for a reason and you will have to move on. Don't ponder what could've been because it was just sex and nothing more.

Find a new guy closer to your age/interests.
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:38 PM   #3
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I'm generally one who doesn't care about age. But I agree. He blocked you for a reason. It's not an easy thing to do, getting over someone. But it's doable and takes time like everything else. Focus on you. Doesn't mean you can't think about him. But realistically, you can't do anything other then working on yourself. Use this as motivation. To get back out there.

Everything is healed with time.
Hope you find happiness soon.
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:37 PM   #4
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Hey there-

I can relate to your story. I, too, dated a guy who was older than me and when things didn't work out he blocked my number. It has been about a month and a half since he and I parted ways and now I think we are both better off. I hope that you will find that you are better off without this guy too. Some things are meant to be, some things aren't.

Just a word to the wise, since he blocked your number, I wouldn't go over to see him, email him or call any other number that he hasn't blocked. When my ex blocked my number, he eventually called the police because I was in contact with him too often and he got scared or angry, I think.

I think about my ex often too and there is still pain there but I am finding that the time is healing the pain and that I am better off. I hope you will realize that you are better off without this guy too.

Overeating is something I deal with too, but I am trying to find more ways to cope with things other than to eat through my emotions. What are ways that you can take care of yourself?



You'll get through this!

Last edited by seabiscuit : 04-28-2013 at 09:38 PM.
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:46 PM   #5
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To point out the obvious, his career is more important to him than you.

So, why in the world would you want to be with someone who would treat you that way?

Thank your lucky stars, you did not get stuck with this dingbat, move on! You can do better!

You deserve better!
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Old 04-28-2013, 10:11 PM   #6
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As trite as it sounds, time heals all wounds. I wish there was a cure for a broken heart but in my experience it took time to get over it. I dated a fellow grad student for 4 years and I think having to see him after breaking up, nearly every day, made it harder.

I think a clean break is best. Please stop trying to contact him and focus on getting on with your life. I know it hurts now but it will get better.
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Old 04-29-2013, 01:54 AM   #7
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Hey dear. If he blocked your number and not interested in talking to you then move on. MAke new friends and find a job and I know first love is tough to forget but that is not your first love who just used you and then for his job security leaves you.
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Old 04-29-2013, 02:20 AM   #8
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Are you able to turn these emotions into work out aggression. If you can I would get a punching bag or something like that to work these feelings out. Ball your eyes out and pump up the volume while you're hitting the sh@! out of the bag. Then maybe look up some affirmations and write them in a journal. Or find some sort of biography about someone who overcame life's hurdles in order to put your pain into perspective. Time heals everything, or at least it dulls the pain. For right now distraction I think would be key.

Okay, that's enough rambling for me!
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Old 04-29-2013, 12:19 PM   #9
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This is the time when you put on your big girl panties, pull them up and look ahead to your future without him. He's made it very clear what is important to him and it's not you, sweetie. You've got to move on. Put a close to that chapter of your life and start a new wonderful on. You are so young and there is so much ahead of you. Enjoy it, truly.
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Old 04-29-2013, 12:44 PM   #10
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I agree with Janelle. it is not the age it is the job. He must be very insecure in his job ,after his talk with the boss, His career is most important now.
PS it is never good to mix romance and work. Business and pleasure don't mix well in the same office.
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Old 04-29-2013, 01:53 PM   #11
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I know it's hard to accept, but he doesn't want to be with you. If he did, he would contact you. Like others have written, he is putting his career first. Think of these qualities that he has, is he worth it? NO. He was using you. He's a jerk. I hate guys like that. Do you really want to be with someone like that? You are so much better than him. Focus on yourself for you, move on for you, build up your self esteem and self worth because you are better than that. There are so many other guys out there waiting for someone like you.







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Last edited by Stars : 04-29-2013 at 01:59 PM.
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Old 05-03-2013, 02:22 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mickeypnd View Post
Sorry if this might be a bit long..

So there was this guy and we met at work. He was my boss. We started out as friends but when I was promoted we grew closer and it slowly led to us being more then friends. We became close (talking every day, hanging out and such) and intimate but never made anything official. (I think it was the age thing I was 24 and he was 39) well we stared working together again at the same office but we were still intimate even though it was against company policy.

Well someone it reached corp. that we were together and a lot of drama happened. The vice president pulled him into his office and told him if he even heard a word that we were so much as talking they would fire him.
I ended up quitting but didn't want to end our relationship. I tried to still talk to him but he ignored me and finally blocked my number for 90 days... its now been about seven months and I find that I still think about him daily...

Please help. I miss him so much but he refuses to talk to me..the last time I heard from a mutual friend he asked her about me a few times but me and her had a falling out so I no longer talk to anyone at that corp. anymore..

its effecting my mood and weight and I'm the heaviest I've been in a long time.. I just don't know what to do..
How are you doing Mickeypnd? Please let us know.
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Old 05-03-2013, 05:47 PM   #13
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Hey girl, hope things are looking up. I know it SUCKS when stuff like this happens, but try to take it as a sign that something BETTER is in store for you. There are men out there who will value you, for you...they are damn HARD to find...but they are out there. That you were willing to quit your job to maintain a relationship with him and then for him to cut you off is disrespectful...NO man is worth being treated disrespectfully. Stay strong, keep looking forward...avoid looking back except to learn from mistakes.
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Old 05-05-2013, 01:19 AM   #14
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Here are some quotes, I read when my heart feels like it will never mend.

“That's how it is with relationships, it's a part of life, and all the great love songs and poems and films have been written by people who were standing where I was that morning as Simon shut the door. Doesn't make it any easier though. ”
― Jane Green, Straight Talking

“I had to get over [him]. For months now, a stone had been sitting on my heart. I'd shed a lot of tears over [him], lost a lot of sleep, eaten a lot of cake batter. Somehow, I had to move on. [Life] would be **** if I didn't shake loose from the grip he had on my heart. I most definitely didn't want to keep feeling this way, alone in a love affair meant for two. Even if he'd felt like The One. Even if I'd always thought we'd end up together. Even if he still had a choke chain on my heart.”
― Kristan Higgins, All I Ever Wanted







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Old 05-09-2013, 10:25 PM   #15
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i had an experience where i had been 'the happiest girl in the whole usa' and then basically instantly it was gone. like that without even a conversation. to this day. there is no getting over it. but dating your boss??? never a smart thing.
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