Ever since we upped my topamax to 50mg I have been so... stable-everyone around me says so. They say I'm stable, normal, etc. And I agree. My thoughts. The way I think has totally changed. I miss my old way of thinking a little but it's for the best. I just feel.... sane. Idk how to explain it. It's amazing. I am so happy! Topamax probably didn't do it alone but it was more like the finishing touch. My bipolar is under control. My friends actually want to hang out with me! My dad is happy to see me appearing normal! My mom is happy I'm a step closer to functioning in society! Everything is okay now. I feel like how I felt when I was a kid (Before bipolar) except not sad (I was bullied). But I guess while I had a severe depression episode once I developed a daydreaming coping mechanism (escapism) so that has to go it's kinda screwing up my focus in school. I hope you all find your right meds some day <3
I know I will have an episode again some day but whatever lol at least I've got the right meds for me.
It's amazing what happens when you find the right meds. I've been relatively stable since last June. Takes a while to get used to. I still get sad sometimes, but it's for valid reasons. I seriously don't miss the debilitating depression and psychosis.
Awww thank you both! It's so great to feel normal and stable! I had completely forgotten what that was like. Now I remember. Before I couldn't relate at all to teens my age. But now we have so much in common so my friends don't feel awkward around me anymore! I know it won't last forever. But at least now I know the next episode won't either Again thank you guys for your support!