3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Depression and Weight Issues

Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

Stretch marks and depression

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-07-2013, 09:38 PM   #1
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 338

S/C/G: 181/148.8/129

Height: 5'3"

Default Stretch marks and depression

When my boyfriend's ex added me on Facebook, I made the mistake of accepting the invite. He's totally over her but I'm not over how unattractive I am by comparison...

He hasn't seen all of my flaws yet, I've been careful to cover them. I have faded stretch marks pretty much all over my body. What made me worry, initially, was the double take I swore I saw him do last night. I raised my arms above my head and my shirt sleeve slid down, revealing some of the marks. I swore I saw him jerk his head back around so I lowered my arms immediately and made sure to keep everything covered the rest of the night.

I'm afraid that once he sees them, he'll lose interest. He admitted that his previous relationship was all physical attraction so I'm worried he won't find me attractive once he sees them because I'm fairly certain he hasn't yet.

I don't know if I should just act "normal"...or if I should say hey, look, I've got these marks and I'm worried you'll see them and freak... I hope this isn't TMI but it's kind of a pain making sure the lights are always off and then making sure I put something on right away, just in case... >.>
Doomkitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-07-2013, 10:18 PM   #2
A determined quirky chick
 
Quirky Chick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Des Moines, Iowa area
Posts: 111

S/C/G: 265/227/160

Height: 5'8"

Default

Hi there. Sorry to hear you are upset and stressed over this. I'm afraid I can't tell you have to hide all imperfections. But I just wanted to add, just because he said that's what his last relationship was about, that doesn't mean that's what yours is about. Circumstances can play a big part. Try not too order-judge yourself too much. I'm sure you're a nice person, and if he is too, then you have nothing to worry about. Hope you get to feeling better.
__________________
Long-term goal


Basic goal



One for each 5lbs lost
Quirky Chick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-07-2013, 10:27 PM   #3
Senior Member
 
ladyrider72472's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Northeast Arkansas
Posts: 1,187

S/C/G: 275H/159/165ish

Height: 5'10-5'11

Default

Lovedancelive, first of all let me give you this advise.... DELETE her from your friends list.... I lived in the shadow of my ex's ex..... and it just about drove me bonkers. I am about 5'11, she was barely 5 feet.... there is NO comparison in us two and I about drove myself nuts trying to be something I wasn't (petite). That is my advise as far as that.

If you feel that badly about your stretch marks, I would lay it on the line if it bothers you that much, so you are not trying to keep up a fašade.

Also, keep in mind if he does not love you "stretch marks and all" then you probably don't need him.... b/c what happens if you should have children? ALMOST everyone gets them with pregnancy.

IMO, I think it is your insecurity and he probably has not noticed......

THat is just my .2 worth. Good luck!! But I am serious about deleting her from your friends list... it will drive you nuts.
__________________
ladyrider72472 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-07-2013, 11:01 PM   #4
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 338

S/C/G: 181/148.8/129

Height: 5'3"

Default

@ladyrider

Thanks, I might do that because I don't see why she added me at all, honestly. She hasn't said a word to me, I haven't said a word to her, so I don't get it...all I'm doing now is thinking, "I wish I weighed 110 like her..."


I asked a friend this same question at the same time I posted this thread and his advice was to act more normal. Don't bring it up but don't really hide them either. It makes me so nervous, he's been such a great guy, I hope that doesn't change, I hope he really is a good man...
Doomkitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-07-2013, 11:10 PM   #5
Senior Member
 
BreathingSpace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 506

S/C/G: 183/166/135

Height: 5'6"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyrider72472 View Post
Lovedancelive, first of all let me give you this advise.... DELETE her from your friends list.... I lived in the shadow of my ex's ex..... and it just about drove me bonkers. I am about 5'11, she was barely 5 feet.... there is NO comparison in us two and I about drove myself nuts trying to be something I wasn't (petite). That is my advise as far as that.

If you feel that badly about your stretch marks, I would lay it on the line if it bothers you that much, so you are not trying to keep up a fašade.

Also, keep in mind if he does not love you "stretch marks and all" then you probably don't need him.... b/c what happens if you should have children? ALMOST everyone gets them with pregnancy.

IMO, I think it is your insecurity and he probably has not noticed......

THat is just my .2 worth. Good luck!! But I am serious about deleting her from your friends list... it will drive you nuts.
yeah, I have to agree. I did the same thing and was constantly comparing myself to her. It was ridiculous really. I was so insecure. I was also terrified he would see any of my physical flaws too so I kept things hidden.

After breaking up from this dysfunctional relationship, I now realize I should be with someone who loves me for everything I am inside, and everything on the outside of me IS A BONUS.
__________________
"There is simply no way for the scale to accurately measure the most beautiful part of your spirit".

Check out my BLOG here for weight loss woes, yoga and life!

BreathingSpace is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-07-2013, 11:19 PM   #6
Trying to be in the 160s
 
IanG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Washington, D.C.
Posts: 3,971

S/C/G: See my siggy ;)

Height: 5'8"

Default

Own those marks. They are yours.

He won't mind. I never have.
__________________

Running because of Diana
Believing because of Sue
Elvis lives!
Getting fashion advice from Sum
ReillyJ and Carpediem saved my knees!
Don't believe the hype. EAT MORE FISH.
If the bar ain't bendin', you're just pretendin'!
IanG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-07-2013, 11:24 PM   #7
Senior Member
 
zoesmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Gainesville, GA
Posts: 1,121

S/C/G: 293/ticker/170

Height: 5'6"

Default

Those are your battle scars....proof you have overcome what a great majority can not do. Those are yours and what is your is worth loving. It is your imperfections that make you perfect. If he is for you, he'll see that. And you know, deep down, that is the truth.

And he was probably just a little excited to see a slight bit of skin. Some men really are just that shallow to care about scars and whatnot...but in my experience, most are not
__________________



Stage 1: Mini Goal 1: 265 pounds - complete 1/12/13; Mini Goal 2: 250 pounds - complete 4/17/13; Mini Goal 3: 225 pounds - completed 10/21/13
Stage 2: Moderate Obesity BMI - completed 11/26/13; ONDERLAND; Overweight BMI
Stage 3: work in progress

One for every 10 pounds lost:

Last edited by zoesmom : 04-07-2013 at 11:26 PM.
zoesmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-08-2013, 12:18 AM   #8
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 338

S/C/G: 181/148.8/129

Height: 5'3"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by IanG View Post
Own those marks. They are yours.

He won't mind. I never have.
Thank you.

And thank you to everyone else who responded, I'll just try to show some confidence!
Doomkitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2013, 04:33 AM   #9
No More Diets!
 
lovely30's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 38

Default

I agree with deleting her too. If you are going to compare yourself every single day, it's so not worth it. Most women have stretch marks. If he doesn't like them, it's his loss. Besides, hey may have only liked her for looks, but he may appreciate you more on a deeper level. No one connects with every person on the same level.
lovely30 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2013, 02:29 AM   #10
Start to Love You
 
katieJames27's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 38

Height: 5'5

Default

Hi,

She is ex for a reason. Delete her from your Facebook. As for the stretch marks, love them, they are a sign of victory!
katieJames27 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2013, 02:46 AM   #11
Junior Member
 
Dagmar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 17

S/C/G: 296/275/135

Height: 5'6"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by zoesmom View Post
Those are your battle scars....proof you have overcome what a great majority can not do. Those are yours and what is your is worth loving. It is your imperfections that make you perfect. If he is for you, he'll see that. And you know, deep down, that is the truth.

And he was probably just a little excited to see a slight bit of skin. Some men really are just that shallow to care about scars and whatnot...but in my experience, most are not
Oh that is great advice. Imma gonna keep this too.
__________________
Dagmar is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Has anyone 300+ female lost weight and had skin shrink back? going2bskinny Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss 25 02-24-2011 11:38 AM
Stretch marks, How do you deal with them? Fattycake Weight Loss Support 38 02-04-2009 07:00 PM
Depression and Cutting? BabyBrownEyes Depression and Weight Issues 16 07-20-2007 06:54 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:34 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2