[livelaughlovesunshin]

I don't know where to start and I am never good at putting my words out there so please excuse me if I am ramble.
I am 26 years old and the mother of two kids, they are 2 and 3 years old and absolutely mean the world to me. I feel like I have missed out on so much and it breaks my heart. For example, they had a joint birthday party at this really cool place. I rented the room to ourselves (family and friends). There was a two story slide, a few inflatables, obstacle course, etc. It was great watching them have so much fun but when they were scared to climb up the slide for the first time or climb through the obstacle course to get to another slide, they asked my brothers to help them. Mama is too fat to do anything like that.
It's other stuff like going to grandpa's house and watching them have fun with everyone else in the pool or the jacuzzi cause I am just too damn fat and too damn ashamed of it to join in.
I always wanted to be that Mom that ran and played with her kids. That took them to fun places and could keep up with them. It just breaks my heart that they are growing up so fast and this time is just so precious. I wanted to do the Mommy and me gymnastics but let my weight stop me. I wanted to take them ice skating, again I let being ashamed of being the biggest person there stop me. I could go on and on.
I guess it is pretty pointless posting this, I just wanted to get it off my chest and I am so embarrassed to tell anyone in my family this. They would never understand or I would get the "I told you so."

[Remington90]

The point is, you're doing this. You're working towards that goal. According to your SW/CW you've lost 25.5 pounds. that is AWESOME. You're not going to let another day float by due to your weight. You've made a lifestyle change that will impact you and your children. Be very proud of yourself! It's one thing to vent about something like this with a tub of icecream in your hand, you're venting out frustrations that should be what motivates you. You've got the best motivation right there! I know kids remember things when they're little, but you've got some important years coming up with them, too. And thats equally important.

Keep on keepin' on and give yourself a pat on the back.

And who cares what negative things the family would say. This is for you and your kids. Instead of being embarassed about the past, be positive and embrace the present and the future.

You've kicked arse so far and I'm sure you'll continue.

[AlmostMe]

It's not pointless to share this - this is a support forum. :-)

I totally understand your motivation. I want to be that mom, too. And I am getting there.

OK, they're only little now - so you have ages of time to be running around with them yet. The important thing is that they REMEMBER a fun mom who was running around with them and you can still be that mom.

But the main thing is here is not fatness but fitness! You can make some HUGE strides with your fitness while losing weight - and soon you'll be chasing after them and sliding down slides! I remember when I was too fat to go down a slide, now I can! (Not that he's into that so much anymore, he's 5). But there are very few things you can't do because of your size. You can go on the soft play, you can go in the pool, you can go up the climbing frame.

You are making those changes to your weight.

You can also make the changes in YOUR MIND. There are lots of activities that you CAN do but your shame is holding you back. In my opinion it's far worse to be a mom who shows her kids that it's ok to let fear hold you back than to be a fat mom. (And I'm not criticising, I'm held back from many things by fear - but not the playground equipment.)

Besides it's more fun to get in there than to sit back and watch.