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My sad situation

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Old 04-28-2003, 05:08 AM   #1
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Default My sad situation

Hi! I have been a member of 3fc.com for a while, but never really took advantage of it. I sometimes post or just go through the site reading.
I know I have to lose weight and I want to, but why can't I get motivated?

I have been dealing with depression for about 3 'know' years of my life. I know I have had depression for alot longer, but never went to the doctor until 3 years ago. I am on medication and I do feel great, but I still have my set backs and some issues.
For example, if I am an emotional eater. I eat when I am bored, sad, angry, if somebody pisses me off, or just because. I want to lose weight, but I want to do it my way with support, but not be pushed. Does that make sence? I love my husband dearly, but sometimes he just makes me darn mad. I know deep down, he wants me to lose weight. (I am at my heaviest ever) So he will say stuff like: "You like garden salads ...eat that!" But then sit there in front of me and eat a juicey burger, not really understanding how frustrating that is for me. He treats me great, but some things he says, hurts me and he thinks he is helping. He said: "If you drink this, your skin would clear up!" Instead of taking that as a supportive comment, I take it as an insult to my skin!" So then before I know it, I am stuffing my face dwelling on my skin. Now don't get me wrong, I have good skin, but I am 30 and have acne all the time because I drink alot of pop! Another bad choice of mine. I know my hubby is trying to help, but sometimes I just get mad and deliberately eat. Why can't I just take constructive critisism? I guess that is where my depression personality comes into play. I take things a little more seriously than most people. I worry lots.
Does anyone have any solutions for me to show my hubby exaclty what I am looking for? I don't wanna be pushed or I don't want to be made aware of my faults, but I need him by my side! Boy this is so tough to explain. Help!
Islandgurl29
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Old 04-28-2003, 09:03 AM   #2
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Islandgurl............
This one is "a little tough" because if you are a little "overly sensitive" with your husband.you may be from people in here! The last thing we want to do is hurt your feelings.we want to help your feelings!

The first thing that came to my mind in reading your post is..........you and only you CAN help yourself............sometimes WE must take charge of our own destiny no matter what others eat,drink or say! I sense you recognize that! I can tell you are smart!

So my suggestion is......START doing something today by making some changes somewhere! Take charge of your own destiny!

Dont be aggressive with your hubby but be ASSERTIVE by telling him how you feel and what he can do to HELP you...........if you want him to help you.

You can WIN at losing........believe in yourself and start today!

Sincerely,
Cin
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Old 04-28-2003, 09:46 AM   #3
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Hugs to you !!

When something comes easy to a person it is VERY difficult for them to understand just what your going thru. My hubby is very thin, only recently has he put on 20 lbs b/c he quit smoking. He's been struggling to lose it for over 6 months now and every day after work he say to me "this is hard, I can't lose one pound and its very frustrating" so my reply to him was "WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!!" Its hard for someone to help unless they've been their themselves. My dh has never said to me lose weight although I know deep down he wants me to, I mean who wouldn't, its a healthy way to be.

How to become thick skinned you ask. Thats gonna take some time. First thing I think would help is accepting yourself for the way you are. Tell yourself okay, this is me, and I'm okay with it. I can chang this if I want. Nobody can do this for you. When your hubby says stuff to you, instead of the instant... he is attacking me. Listen to his words and say YES, your right, he's right (I do love salad), he's not saying this to hurt me, he loves me and wants to help. Instead of the instant disagreeing, stop your thinking, shake your head yes, and just think about the exact words as if your saying them to yourself. By the way, why can't you have a burger ? have a salad and 1/2 a burger. Don't punish yourself.

I know this is hard b/c I eat at every single emotion too, I mean I don't even need an emotion

Give yourself a little breathing room Island, if it doesn't work today, try again, never stop trying.

I used to be so sensitive, I mean real bad but I guess w/age and experience, it doesn't seem important to me anymore what people say, or how they say it. Its just not worth it. Whats important is me, and my life.

Hang in there !!
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