Hi novangel!
Good job on sticking with it and working through the anxiety.
I think it is a good idea to push harder sometimes. You need to feel out your limits and the burn will be higher and you will get stronger. It will also help with your anxiety. I used to freak out just because I felt like my heart skipped a beat. The more weight I lost and the more I worked out the better I felt. Your body can take a lot and we just need to believe in it. Pushing it on a day I feel great really helped me increase my workouts and get a lot stronger.
Regarding the moon phases, I just wanted to tell you that I do believe that the moon has a great influence on us. I moved from Europe to North America a few years ago and was surprised that nobody really believes in it here. In Europe lots of people consider moon phases and even star constellations in their daily life. For example for hair cuts, gardening, farming for sure!, even mood swings, dreams and nightmares, etc. And I am not talking some nature freaks, it is something people discuss every day and is part of a normal daily life. Over here people just think I am crazy (so I just don't talk about it anymore!). But I do know that I get crazy dreams, can't sleep, headaches happen more often, mood swings etc. I don't look at the calendar and go "oh right full moon, now I can't sleep." but I can avoid a lot of that if I check the calendar and make sure that e.g. I am as relaxed as possible during full moon.
Everything seems a little more intense during that time and it can affect you negatively or positively. As you said the moon does influence the ocean, so why not us?
A little off topic I guess but I find that people in Europe are more in tune with stuff like that. (I don't want to offend anybody ok? I am just pointing out what I experienced.) I notice a huge difference with a lot of things. Food for example. There is fast food in Europe but I still think people are more connected to where the food comes from and do a lot more homecooking and gardening. I have never met anybody with allergies like lactose or gluten intolerance or even a nut allergy in 30 years living there. Not sure why (and I am sure there are people but just way less I guess).
Medication is a huge difference too. Where I come from a lot of home remedies are used and a lot less medication (and smaller doses!). Here everybody laughs at me because I only take one regular strength aspirin for headache and I am good and I had to tell my dentist to dial down the freezing because the dosage was way too high. I am on a quarter of a kid's dosage now.
I guess what I am saying is, try to work with your body and listen to it. Test your limits regularly and concentrate on relaxing and feeling in tune with your body. Make sure your workouts are fun and not a burden. If your heart starts racing, stop, relax, listen. Figure out what it is telling you. Does it come from your heart or your mind?
On the home remedy thing, did you try stuff like cammomile tea for relaxation? Some essential oils help to, maybe if you workout at home you could use those while you workout?
Yoga might be an idea too. It is a lot about breathing and flowing with the movements.
Keep us posted ok?
I was so proud of myself I actually cried. Lets hope I can keep on keeping on. *fingers crossed
