One of my first steps toward recovery...therapy

[aliasihaya]

So I've finally done it! I've finally made an appointment with a therapist. I've avoided it for a long time. I have been going to a psychiatrist for the past 5 years for depression and a mood disorder. And I'm on a cocktail that keeps me a bit 'even' but it doesn't really help the depression. But through it all I've always wanted a magic pill. Well after many avoidances of my weight gain and the issues along with it, I've enlisted the help of a trainer and nutritionist. However, I don't adhere to their plans. I don't know why. I feel better when I do. But in the heat of the moment I always do the wrong things. So my nutrtionist highly suggested therapy to figure out why I make the choices that I make.

Now I've done therapy before. In college I went through it. However we made a huge decision to cut one of the toxic people out of my life...my dad. Unfortunately it's never sat right with me. I don't necessarily regret it, but I wish I'd been stronger to deal with him as he was so that we'd have a relationship now when I know that he needs me the most. So ever since then I've been nervous about therapy and how a therapist can affect my life.

But I think the nutritionist is right. I need to figure out why I'm fighting so hard to do the things that I need to do. Yet, I'm sooooo nervous. I don't really want to air my dirty laundry (and I have a lot of it) to a complete stranger. It takes a lot mentally to do this and it's emotionally exhausting. So if you don't click with the therapist then it can be even more detrimental. But I have to take the leap right? I need someone to talk to. Someone that I will tell the things that I hide from everyone. But I'm worried that all of that won't help. I'm worried that I'll pour my heart out and it wont' make a damn difference.

So what would you do? Have you been to a therapist? Has it actually helped?

[theox]

I don't have much experience with therapists, so I can't say much about that. I suspect that therapists are a lot like psychiatrists (a group I have more experience with, unfortunately) and every sort of medical professional - some are wonderful, some are lousy, and most are in-between, and there has to be some sort of connection between the pro's approach and your needs. If you give a therapist a reasonable chance and make an honest effort to help yourself and it's still not getting you anywhere, give somebody else a try. I didn't meet the doctor who correctly diagnosed me and introduced me to the tools I needed to deal with life until last year. Don't give up. Plus, you're not likely to be asked to share everything at your first session, although it's important to be candid at the beginning. S/he won't be a stranger for long, and s/he's probably treated other people with problems as bad or worse than yours.