Need some advice

[JanetM]

Hi everyone, I'm new here....I'm a Mom to a 12 year old boy and a 4-1/2 year old girl. I'm the biggest emotional eater. My kids have some medical stuff going on and I feel like I'm losing control.
My son has many issues with anxiety, I feel guilty because I know that I have passed this onto him....he also has to see a specialist because he may have thyroid issues, he is on the small size.
My daughter was born with a birth defect on her skull....when she was 10.5 months old she had a 6 hour surgery, well we found out this past December that she didn't heal properly and will need another surgery this fall. I'm a mess and food is my comfort.

I started dieting and working out, but I have no motivation at all. I'm feeling sorry for myself and my children. I just want to be healthy for them. My husband is wonderful...he is very supportive and tells me a beautiful and that he loves me no matter what. I'm 70 pounds overweight. I feel like I'm drowning.

[JOLINA]

To help treat anxiety, go to the library and read the book "Phobia Free" by Dr Harold Levinson. He is a pediatrician and has helped a great number of children and adults also.

You can also search for more info on the book in the internet ... and buy it from Amazon.com.

It is very helpful, and you will be very happy you read it. It will make a huge difference in your life.

Dr. Levinson's office is in Great Neck, NY. You can also call there for more info.

[JanetM]

Originally Posted by JOLINA

Dr. Levinson's office is in Great Neck, NY. You can also call there for more info

Thanks for the info, I'm in Canada. There is more resorces for adults then children in my area, but after a 4 year fight I got my son the help that he needed.

[QuilterInVA]

The key is that you said you want to be healthy for your children. Weight loss is all about choices. We choose to eat those foods that will support our goal or we don't. Eating will not help your children at all. It could, in fact, have an effect on your ability to care for them. Food might comfort you for an hour, but then guilt sets in and that is worse. You need to find other outlets for comfort. I quilt or work Suduko puzzles. My husband was ill for 6 years and confined to bed. I was his sole care giver because we have no family so I do know where you are coming from. I hope everything comes out good for your children. Remember, if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else.

[agrievingmommy]

I can totally relate Janet. When my daughters (they died) were sick and in the hospital, we would go straight to the cafeteria anytime something bad happened - a surgery or a procedure. When there is nothing you can do sometimes you just feel so helpless and food does bring momentary comfort when all else seems lost.
It is a daily struggle and food is always what I turn to - it is a constant battle for me.
But someone said here once that life is hard. It's hard without my daughters here - I can't change that. It's hard to be fat and overweight. It's hard to turn away from food and make a different choice. We all have to pick our hard because life is just hard.
Just wanted to say I'm sorry and that I know how hard life can be with sick kids...

[IsabellaOlivia]

You have to want it not for your husband or kids. You have to want it for you or else you will always fail at losing weight.

[butterflymama]

I too understand using food for comfort. I have dealt with anxiety and depression my whole life and self medicated with food. It is hard when you don't have your "medication" to fall back on to.

My son is a healthy kid but he does have Reactive airway disease so when he gets a cold or flu he develops temporary asthma. I get very stressed and anxious when this happens. I lost my first born at birth do to SMA which caused her lungs to not develop fully so that increases my anxiety around my son.

I am in a good spot mentally now in terms of lifestyle change and weight loss but this is the first time my son has gotten ill in my journey (started beginning of apr) and it was so hard to not have food to numb myself. However I reminded myself that my binging on crappy food would not help my son or give any real fix to my anxiety in fact it would make me feel worse. So instead I did my yoga DVD a few times and I asked my DH to remove some chips in the cupboard that were left over from my niece babysitting. I also talked to my DH about what I was feeling.

It is hard seeing our children ill and feeling powerless but the best gift we can give them is a healthy parent. Positive healing compassionate vibes to you and your children.

[VermontMom]

I am so sorry you have to deal with these huge, huge challenges. I can't imagine how it must be, it hurts so much when you feel helpless and so worried about your children. You are to be congratulated that you have started dieting and working out. You might not feel like you have any motivation now, but once you start feeling a little better physically you will want to continue. I'm glad your husband is supportive and loving

maybe feeling that YOU have at least a little control over SOMETHING in your life will be what keeps you going on

[luckymommy]

I know how it is to have anxiety over your child. I have a son with a disability that is never going away. Daily life is a real heart wrenching, anxiety provoking struggle. I also suffer personally from chronic daily migraines. I used to eat all of my pain, all of my depression and all of my anxiety. But where did it get me? It only exacerbated all of the problems. I don't know if I"ll ever stop being an emotional eater but I can tell you that now that I'm on track with my eating, everything is so much easier to tolerate. That doesn't mean any of my problems are different, but I am different. I also feel like I am not just a blob, but a woman who is starting to even feel sexy once in a while! You can do this...even when things are tough and imagine..if you can do it when things are rough....it will give you so much strength and confidence!