Depression and Weight IssuesHave you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!
momof4 - way to go on the mile!! Sorry your hubby was not happier for you. My BF does not get as excited about these things as I do, either, and it can be a buzz kill.
Maybe I should switch out the coffee for a zantrex... I love my coffee but I think it is discoloring my teeth =(
Hi Katt! Good luck with the insurance - can be such a pain. I hope the therapist can help.
Aunty Jam, I always worry about not speaking up enough at the Dr. or about the opposite - overemphasizing things. Glad to hear you are doing better w/out a med change, though =) Good luck on your upcoming races. I have run some 5ks and they are a lot of fun.
VermontMom, shopping for new items can be frustrating AND fun in spurts. I got my car a little over a year ago and the whole process kinda drove me crazy but there were moments I really enjoyed.
I did a little walk/jog yesterday - first "real" exercise in weeks now. I'd almost gotten back into a routine before getting sick, but I totally lost it this past month. I am super stressed out trying to figure out what I'll be doing in terms of a job this summer and thereafter, and which side of the country I'll be on. Family wants me east, boyfriend wants me here... and I really can't decide what I want. I'm back and forth.
ok just a quick post cause no one is up to really talk to and I have stuff to make for girls school tomorrow
The last two night I just want to bawl....I know my husband loves me but don't know if he's "in love" like wouldnt it show? We are more like roommates at times. I wanted him to watch a video today that i really liked and he ended up flat out blowing me off. Like it was something kinda important to me....I tell him bout my gym accomplishments and he shrugs them off. I run the computer for youth and do the songs and he micro manages me doing that and most of the time does not talk nice like he would if it was someone else, after a private convo with someone he had the nerve to say now remember that was brought to us in confidence so don't be telling anyone I said have i done that before?? I knew he would do that like i am a kid....He gives me orders like I am his employees at work..he got made cause he put his sweatshirt in with the rest of the 50baskets of laundry and expected me to see it and NOT dry it...like I have no other worries.....he doesn't ask to take me out dinner but asks different guy friends to go out to eat.... Not saying im perfect cause I know im not and I don't feel like this ALL the time but its more lately. YES Ive tried talking to him and he changes things but only for a little while because he was just doing them cause i asked (ex. I asked him why we don't kiss like when we were dating...ive tried...so he did for the next 2 days) Any time I bring things up he gets defensive or says im not right....I KNOW HOW I FEEL....This is close to how my dad is with my mom...and I NEVER wanted it to be like that. He is better than my dad and doesn't demand things from me....I feel so stuck because ive tried A MILLION ways to bring it up and either im wrong and took it the wrong way or he didn't use that tone or i am right and he will "work" on it....I get marriage takes WORK but if you are IN LOVE with that person showing them your love shouldn't be hard...living together is what takes the most work....idk maybe I am wrong...but now Im bawling...and this isnt an emotional depression downer...this is something that I cant keep shrugging off....Im not in any way saying i want to leave cause i don't...I just want to loved and the things that are important to me for him to at least show attention to. LIKE I WORK HARD......the other day I scrubbed the kitchen on my hands and knees an cloroxed the whole thing and he said not one word till i texted him....but it didn't matter then what he said cause i had to ask... yes I know this is part of being a mom and doing your job with no credit at all..I guess i should wipe the snot and tears off and put my big girl panties on now and go make my kids snacks, get the laundry moving, clean the downstairs up, get the boys school stuff ready, my gym bag packed, clothes for 6 kids laid out, breakfast bowls and spoons out, do the dishes so I have spoons, oh yeah and put away the groceries I just went and got after i got everyone in bed........
:'(
Last edited by momof4under5; 03-24-2011 at 11:37 PM.
Thanks Iris i need it!
Like I want to just stay up all night an clean and organize thinking maybe I will get his attention and just a positive compliment from him...I tried writing a note tonight but honestly I sat there and thought there is no point cause its just going to make him mad...i dont know i dont know I dont know...Im gonna try and sleep a few hours and see how I feel in the morning...I have to be up early to do the boys school and finish the girls snacks...
Last edited by momof4under5; 03-25-2011 at 10:55 AM.
momof4 - also from me!! I also have gotten so irritated, when we do some hard physical cleaning (cleaning up everyone else's messes!!) and it DOES NOT GET NOTICED until we point it out..then it seems so petty that we have to point it out..'look what I did'...well it does deserve notice, and thanks, or a compliment.
Marriage IS hard but i think you are trying your best, and I wish your DH would see that and throw a little bone your way, like a compliment on the house or the work you do.
I have a dreaded call to make, have to call the local hospital and ask that my monthly payment be reduced; they coerced me into a high payment with the threat of Collections; but we were late on our property taxes this month and after only 2 days got a $67 penalty. sheesh! So I have to ask to have the payment lowered. I will ask...I know they will say no..and I will have to say "I hear you ...but this is all I will send".
Ugh, still feeling so down. I shook it off for a little while last night by drinking a couple glasses of wine but obviously that it not a good every day solution! My only support in my current city (heck, side of the country) is my boyfriend and it's really eating at me. I've been here almost 3 years and aside from the boyfriend who I've been with about a year and a half I haven't connected with anyone on more than a superficial level. And I have tried. I am miserable and I want to move back "home." While I haven't really maintained a lot of my friendships there, I feel more like I am accepted and welcome and I have at least more than one person I can talk to. Don't really know if that would fix the problem, but for one thing I'm sure it would upset my boyfriend. He's willing to move in the future but is finishing a PhD program so it's not a current option.
Mom I've been reading how great you are doing at the gym, Congratulations!! I'm sorry your hubby won't open his eyes and nurture your relationship. And feeling like roommates is a sign. I wonder if you present it to him as a third party, since he counsels, tell him a woman in the congregation presented you with a problem within her marriage and how she is afraid of where it is going and what would he suggest to help this couple. And if it sounds good say, alright lets do that. Sometimes it helps to step back, this way you can let him know how you feel without him going defensive etc. Plus you get to step away as its in the third person and stay unattached an unemotional. Its just a thought, I would hate for you to do like I did and ignore things and end up where I am.
vermont did you make the phone call? Reading what you have to go through makes me agree with auntie jam, I'm glad I'm in canada.
auntie jam that is great that your hubby has found some work, that is great its a start and who knows where it could lead. And congrats on the running!!
Iris how are you today?
Hope how are things?
Marie how are you? did you make it back to work?
Hi to ems, kattt and everyone else
Not much new around, the snow is finally starting to melt, we still have feet and feet of the stuff. But the road is almost clear so maybe that will prod me to get out walking. Had chinese take away last night and boy was the scale up this morning. That sodium, wow!!
Anyway I wrote a novel when I didn't mean to. I have to get some dishes done and get to the grocery store.
Take care everyone and enjoy what is left of the weekend.
K
Buddly - that is such awesome advice!!! about presenting it as a parishioner's dilemna. Very smart! I hope it works for momof4!!
I did make the call - at about 10 am on Thursday? got a recording that the Business office couldn't take the call, leave a message...and I did. They did not call back Thursday nor Friday. I wonder if they are avoiding me? haha. I really shouldn't be so freaked about it, I can handle myself politely even if someone is being hostile. I just need to document calls/names and such. I just want to stress to you all that I DO honor my debts, just let me take a little longer to pay them!
I am in just such a blah mood. Spring seems SO far away (we too still have deep deep snow and it was barely out of the 20's today) and even once spring is here, I have to scrounge to find a replacement motorcycle on a limited budget...sorry I keep getting back to that, but heck ... it was my true joy in life (yeah, yeah, besides being married and a mom, lol)
HOWEVER the countdown is 19 days until Im out of the yucky winter job!!
Hi everyone hope everyone is feeling ok, huggs for those who dont
mom - you poor thing, I dont really know what to say honey, marriage is a pain in the arse (mine is no better) I hope things pick up for you soon xxx
Iris - i moved county when i got married I have made no friends in 4 years not even with the mothers at the school my girls go to, they hear my essex accent and thats it. i am home sick to
Buddly - I went back to work on wednesday it was ok but i have lost the heart for the job as I am leaving in 4weeks for a better job, i am abit worried about going into tomorrow as I got drunk with my work pals on friday, i have a mouth on me and I cant remember what i said and to whom.
Vermont - Goodluck with the hospital, im avoiding my calls as I owe them money as my insurance didnt cover the full works, its such a racket!
ems - how you getting on with the shape ups?
So my week has ok ish it started very badly then got a little better once i went back to work, then the drinking binge on friday night wasnt one of my greatest idea's and caused a argument with HD.
I had a therapy session on thrusday and im not sure how i feel about it, they talked alot about my mother (evil woman) and my marriage and the problems i have in it, then my drinking and pill popping (legal pills) they want me to go to AA and NA, im not sure i want to do that just yet.
Oh well another week ahead i have to tell my scary boss i am leaving, thats gonna be a hard one and im not looking forward to it my diet is not going to good nothing has changed in months still the same, its starting to get to me.
mom im so sorry your having a hard time it sounds like you need abreak from it all and that your husband needs an eye opener to see how good he has it with you. I would have it out with him and tell him your not happy with the way things are going and things really have to change as it is making you ill. xxx
Buddly i had a chinese aswell this weekend hehe xxxx
The shape ups are good thanks marie. Im glad you went to therapy they do go over things you dont really want to but it does help to get it all off your chest and then start to move on xxxx
Ug! I'm a little freaked out. My step d has been in a bad mood, posting crying faces and so on on FB. I kept asking her what was wrong and she wouldn't say, today she actually opened up to me and told me it was about her bf. I replied back honestly and as best I could but I know it wasn't what she wanted to hear. I'm worried now she'll clam up again, I know I did the right thing by being honest but without giving the sympathy she wanted will she not talk to me again? I'm not used to this whole "Mom" thing... I'm not ready for a 17 year old!!! She's literally half my age! Gah!
WTH???? Now an engineer is contacting me??? What could they possibly want from me???
Thank you to all the advice and caring!!! BUDDLY y didnt I think of that!!! I am going to reply to each one but only have a few minutes its been a crappy monday already late for everything, then found out someone is suing the gym for my foster daughters finger...honestly she is not disabled hasnt complained bout the pain...now it looks poorly on me cause they thought I was doing it...err..have caseworkers coming, lunch, paperwork, cleaning, then boys school and some major reorganization. MOST of my stress comes from NOT being organized or have a place for stuff so when I need it I know where its at and from looking at my mess of bookshelves and movie shelves..sooo I HAVE TO eliminate that stress and my laundry...I have bout 5 loads left to wash and 7 loads still to fold...that stresses me out!!
Did have a good weekend one of my teen girls was competing for miss teen pennsylvania...she lost i am not sure how cause she did great but....once she saw me she just broke down....I love them girls sooo much!!! Then one of my other girls (my girl) had some people posting how horrible of a person she is on her fb and I just LOST it...I left a post FOR EVERYONE to see..that is bullying and harassment and I WONT PUT UP WITH IT!! I went all momma bear on them...DONT mess with one of mine...Her parents wont step up but I will. She is bordering depression over situations and wants to cut and that will not help her..but her step mom told the therapist she isnt suicidal or depressed...when she is at times...But I know these girls are in my life for a reason and I will do what I have to!!! If it means reporting people trying to bring them down then I will!! She gave me her password and I am checking her fb so they cant try n send her private messages....anyways...I love these girls and wont watch people mess with them!!
ANYWAYS-AUNTYJAM
I only signed on to post to you about ur teenager...Think about when you were a teenager and you were hurt about your bf or relationships. To you it was the end of the world. As adults we are like screw them and move on....its not like that. Young woman find their worth in the eyes of men. I have found my teens will text me they need to talk and they just come sit on my counter why I cook and just tell me details that mean nothing to me but me JUST LISTENING means everything. It is important that they KNOW you care...if that means you just nodding and saying Im here for you and support you....then thats what it is (i mean as long as your not supporting harm...lol) When they are hurting it is important to not lecture.....the LAST thing when they are upset is to hear a mom speech (even though its tempting)....Let them talk and vent and then later bring it up and be like I was thinking maybe you can handle it this way??? because then they don't feel attacked or like your just being mom!! Sometimes they just want someone to listen and understand!!! BIGGEST thing is to not even talk negatively about the guy or what they should or shouldn't do but help her UNDERSTAND HER WORTH!!!! Remind her that she is a wonderful person and remind her of her positive traits and talents and that any guys would be happy to be with her!! Girls today do not get reminded of the positive they just see what they aren't compared to their friends!!!
So even tonight if you bring it up to her and let her know you care and you've been thinking about her. Then she sees it as you listened and thought about it and because its an issue to her its on your mind!!! There are girls who have harmed themselves over relationships one in our town a few months ago killed herself and NOBODY saw the signs..it was over her boyfriend.....SO I try to make them LOOK AT THEMSELVES and HOW WONDERFUL they really truly are!!!! Build them up!!!
I hope you don't take this post negatively and I don't know what you said but I do know if I go all mom wisdom on my girls they shut me off and wont talk...so you have to go in a round about way and they must learn from their mistakes....Go back to when you were a teen and how you felt!!!
VermontMom, how annoying that they didn't call back! I hope you can get something worked out this week.
Marie, that's horrible that the other moms are so snotty. Guess people don't ever grow up. I hope things are going ok for you at work today... I have had a few drinking occasions where I've been embarrassed later but things I didn't remember.
ems and buddly, I'm craving Chinese food now!
Aunty Jam, don't know about your stepD but I was a miserable teen. If she's anything like me she might clam up for awhile but I bet it doesn't last. Mom my usually said things like, "I know how much it hurts and I wish I could make it go away, but it just takes time." Basically staying out of it but being willing to listen.
momof4, that's awesome how you stuck up for your girl! Where in PA are you, by the way? I am from Lancaster and I miss it.
