[nystyle]

I am a 27 year old male. The reason for posting is simply lately I have become more depressed than ever about my weight. I was always a heavy kid and I come from a family where no one is really obese but every one has a "full stomach." I was heavy as a kid. Then in College I was able to drop down to 162. I didnt do it the best way as usually Mondays I would have hockey late. Get fast food after. The Tuesday was school, then work, then another teams games, etc so really I only ate meals Monday, Wednesday, Saturday. I also walked 7-9 miles 5 days a week.

The in 2005 I hurt my knee. Had to have surgery. For 6 months I couldnt do anything. Even the exercise bike was too much. After the 6 months I ballooned up to 220. I was able to get down to 215, then 210 by returning to activities. Then I started lifting weights and added 15 pounds of muscle to go to 225.

Last summer I had problems with my legs from all the walking I had been doing for years with really no rest. For 6 months all I could do was the exercise bike 3 days a week. When I did it I would be on for 90 minutes at a time. My weight stayed at 225. Now of a sudden as I return to my long walks (7.5 miles 3-4 times a week and cardio for 30-45 mins the days in between) I notice I am up to 235. I have stopped lifting the weights as it wasnt good for hockey. I have done diets the past 5 years where for 6 months I wont eat any fast food. My weight didnt change. I have done diets where I'd eat what I wanted. The weight didnt change. It keeps going up but nothing has changed.

My doctor tested my thyroid but nothing showed up poor. I have tried xendarine but it didnt do anything. My doctor said I can try some diet pills that are prescription but I have read many have been linked to cancer.

Last November my uncle, a big guy, passed. I rmeember every one describing him as "the heavy set man." I dont want to be known as that when I die. I am 5'9, 240 pounds. My girlfriend tells me when we are out "show me some one that you feel you look like them." I dont see people as fat or skinny, black or white, etc so it isnt easy. Then I will say that one and she will say I look nothing like that.

I always feel that even though I see others as people and I am not prejudice at all I feel people judge me for being heavy. My depression really kicked in when my girlfriend got the wii fit. it sees me as obese and I dred going on that thing.

I am really just looking for help with how to accept myself. It has finally hit a point where I feel like I am an outkast and if my gf and I ever break up then I will be slim pickens and not good enough for any one looks wise. I am tired of having a good hockey game and having some one on the other team come up to me and say "you're really good... for a big guy."

[Rhythm]

I used to be 240 lbs too. And I'll tell you this, losing weight is definitely doable.

I think you might not be focusing on diet enough. It's awesome that you have a great work ethic when it comes to exercise, but diet has 80% of the impact.

Calorie counting works nicely, but personally I'd recommend Atkins as it really works well for me.

Good luck sweetie. And keep your chin up.



Oh, and I forgot to say -- You are NOT destined to be fat. I've been a fat girl my entire life. It was all I'd ever been, and all I ever knew. I couldn't see myself being any other way.

There's nothing special about me, I'm an average person just like you. And I WILL reach my goal. So there's no reason why you can't. Please, please, please believe me. I spent years being a pessimistic about my weight, and I really held myself back. I don't want you to do that to yourself too.

[therex]

i totally agree with everything rhythm said.

I didn't start exercising until i hit 180, and everything before that was just calorie counting. I also think you should try and experiment other exercise like swimming, or water aerobics. I'm sorry to hear about your depression too, but you have to realize that being at a lower weight is not a guarantee for a happier life.

[Robin41]

I was a 5'10" and 292 pound woman and I wasn't a lost cause, and neither are you. It was a year of watching every single piece of food or drink that went in my mouth and working out at least four times a week. Then of course, there is a lifetime of maintaining.

You barely mentioned food in your post. To lose the weight you're going to have to make the effort to improve your diet. It's calories in versus calories out; there's no getting around it. You can choose to do this; you don't have to learn to accept yourself as the big guy. You can change it.

[Simona]

I'm 330lbs and I felt that way for the LONGEST time. Then I thought...if I am a lost cause...what's the point of continuing day to day. I HAD to change my thinking or else life just wasnt worth living anymore.

YOU CAN DO THIS! We didnt gain weight overnight. There is no magic pill, no magic cure. It's going to take time and effort.

When I first started exercising I had to do Chair Aerobics because I couldnt stand long enough to do a fitness routine. Now, 4 months later I'm doing HIIT and Tabatas. It'll get better and it'll get easier. You have to put in the time and effort and realize that YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Nobody is destined to be fat. We do that to ourselves.

[hairchick40v]

I agree with Rhythm, Atkins or a diet like Atkins that really cuts the carbs out of the diet is the way to loose... Diet is 80% of the equation... I am losing right now 2.3 lbs a weeks without exercise, cause I am too fat and don't want to hurt myself... I have done calorie counting and low fat, but its the carbs for me... They are the devil, and when I don't eat them I loose!!!

There is alot of good info on here about low carbin, which ever one you choose!!

[mom with issues]

Boy, do I feel for you. I am losing weight I gained when I had my last son. He is now almost 10. As for prejudice, I experience the most from my own family. My mother HATES that I am overweigt (fat). I am 5'6" and weighed 215 when I started. I am down to 185 and have been stuck there for a while.

Don't use diet pills. I think they are dangerous and don't really help much anyway. At least not from my experience, although I never tried prescription. But it is all about diet. I started losing weight when my family all started eating healthy. No fast food, no sugar, no refined white flour. No bread, no junk food. One of my sons has digestive issues, so we have pretty much cut out all dairy (and it has helped tremendously). We eat fresh fruits and vegetables, lean beef, chicken or turkey (no pork). I lost those 30 lbs. just be eating this way, no exercise. And I feel so much better too.

I think that focusing on what you are putting in your body is important. Eating healthier makes me want to be more active too. People say that it's too expensive but I look at it this way - I don't buy soda or any type of junk food so I'm saving a lot of money there. And I love the look on people's faces when I tell them that my family doesn't eat junk food. They are amazed. And I don't miss it at all.

Best of luck. I know how depressing it is, but you can do it. And I understand how badly you want to be thinner. We all do.

[bright83]

I guess I am different than everyone else but what worked for me was excersise first and then implementing the diet changes. The diet changes seemed like such rigid and depressing things to me when I frst started so I just started with excersise.

In the beginning I could barely walk 3 miles so that is what I started with. Then as I gradually got in better shape I upped the amount and types of excersise I was doing. Also, I made myself try all sorts of different excersise types. I promised myself that if I took any type of class twice and hated it that I could quit...but I had to atleast try twice! I actually ended up falling in love with yoga and water fitness that way!! Even though I was eating the same crap I was still losing weight because of the workouts. Seeing the scale go down encouraged me to start eating better. It was also easier to say no to some high calorie meal when I had just busted my butt at the gym!

To be honest...I still don't eat very well but I do focus on portion control and making sure I eat for the right reasons...not just because that peice of cake looks amazing!!

Also, in the beginning I was really focusing on my health more than on weight loss. Although I had been overweight my whole life, I have just recently gotten to the point were the weight was bad enough to inhibit my physical fitness. Somehow it was easier to get motivated when I thought about making my back pain go away instead of losing a certain amount of weight.

One more thing...you might benefit from some sessions with a therapist. I know I personally have so much ridiculous baggage from my years of being overweight. I also deal with depression and anxiety as well so I am also on meds which you probably don't need. However, I will say though that if you are depressed that could be causing the lack of motivation. Once I began treatment for my depression....my motivation and eergy level went through the roof! Not sure if depression is an issue for you but its still worth talking to a therapist!!

[fivestone]

It might not be a bad idea to have a few sessions with a registered dietitian (important to go to a real RD and not just someone who claims to be a nutritionist.) They can take all your measurements, calculate your metabolism, body fat percentage, and ideal weight for you PERSONALLY to the decimal point, and help you develop a fitting diet and exercise regimen that WILL work. I've seen it happen. You don't have to keep going to them for months and months, if you find it expensive. But it might not be a bad place to start.

[dragonwoman64]

Originally Posted by bright83

I guess I am different than everyone else but what worked for me was excersise first and then implementing the diet changes. The diet changes seemed like such rigid and depressing things to me when I frst started so I just started with excersise.

My bf, who's at a good weight for his height now, when he was younger had problems with being underweight, and then problems with being overweight. I'm telling you his story, bec it seems to me it fits more to your background. He focused on exercise more too, keeping a set routine he followed no matter what. He didn't really change his diet. He didn't eliminate foods, but he started reducing how much he'd eat of it.

are you a member of a gym? I think getting a routine that fits your goals and lifestyle would be great, maybe you could work with a trainer for a little while. I think feeling like you're in control of the weight, exercise will go a long way to alleviate the depression. Good luck!!