Depression and Weight IssuesHave you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!
Trish, I will have to google the firm wave, not sure what that is. Glad you are feeling motivated.
Lovebirds, welcome to our little corner. Congrats on being able to get back to working out.
Leenie, my is still up.
I was off today so I slept in and also took a nap. What's with me and the napping? I did workout with exercise tv. It was a strength/cardio workout. I also stayed within my calories, so yay. Tonight I made some awesome stuffed pork chops. I don't know if you guys have tried 'laughing cow' cheese but it is awesome. It's kinda like cream cheese. I used the lite garlic and herb and mixed it with spinach and mushrooms. The cheese only has 35 calories per wedge. I'll probably do it with chicken next which will be a little lighter than the lean pork chops.
I don't remember if I said or not but we are doing The Biggest Loser at work. It started this Monday and will run for 6 mths. My goal is to still be working at it till the end. If I am I should be in much better shape, literally and mentally. I'm hoping it will provide some extra motivation.
Trish, the firm wave looks like a great workout and fun too. Let me know how you like it. Adding the balancing aspect is really supposed to speed up your results. Keep me posted.
Hope I use laughig cow cheese on sandwiches all of the time, it does a good job of taking the place of both the mayo and the cheese. It is creamy enough to give you a little bit of moisture that you need from mayo and then it is cheesey too. I also like it spread on a cracker (portion controlled of course) and a little turkey, so I have a nice cheese and cracker and meat snack. Yummy!!!
SOOOO..... VERY VERY depressing today weighed in at my highest 137...I am going to die...ughh not because thats my hightest but because it just keeps going up and up and up....
I actually fell asleep last night at 11 and got up at 7....Took a little nap and that was it...was tired again at like 10:30-11 and of course my husband had me get the kids so they could watch the movie too and have time with him...totally woke me up...ughhh..
DH is off work and on some heavy meds and muscle relaxers for his neck and spine...if this doesnt work they will have to shoot coritzone down his neck...not cool
ok well thats bout it!!! take care!!
Hello everyone - and I should make personal notes to everyone because I do care about all of you - but I want to make sure to connect to momof4 because, sweet one, I think I am just good at covering my horrible thoughts, while appearing to be 'okay'. Yesterday was another lousy day, I got up at 8:30 and had coffee, then went back to bed..got up at 1:00 pm, made myself work out...then went back to bed. With lots of 'down' thoughts. Like 'what's the use of life' and "why bother doing anything when it just has to be done again". Husband just said 'sorry you had a bad day'. But I went to bed thinking "okay, your bad days usually just last one day, so tomorrow should be better". And today was better!
vermont- thanks but still even you are like ok tomorrow will be better...if I could think like that instead of the will this ever get better mode....
Well was way stressed before church but it ended up being awesome!!
Got a pair of aero pants in the mail today..totally excited..they fit but anymore weight and they will be too small.....
dh still in pain....taking care of him since he hasnt moved off the couch since yesterday afternoon when he got home!!
thats bout it...will try an do personals tomorrow!!
After my 2 yr old got in trouble for not staying in bed I went out and waited to see if she was going to stay in bed this time...I hear "Kiwa Kiwa...Mommys MEAN" Kira says "I know I want papa"...Im SOOO MEAN...Why is it I try to be nice to them and give them a inch and they run with it??? my 7 yr old came home from church and told papa he had a horrible night. My dh says Why..Ethan says cause mommys not going to feed us anymore...LOL. I said NO thats not what I said. I said " Until you guys start listening to mommy and helping mommy Im not doing the extra stuff like snacks...I never said I wouldnt feed you" So he goes up to bed and comes back down and goes here mom and hads me the 2 dollars he has saved. I said wait whats this for. He says this is for everything you do for us.....UGHHHH So I explained to him that I dont want his money Mommy does those things because I love him and mommy wants to, but when you guys dont treat mommy very nice it makes me sad and so I want you guys to treat mommy right.
Kids ughhhh...they had me sooo pushed to my limit actually over my limit before church...I hate the feeling of being pushed to the edge of the cliff and you cant stop I HATE THAT FEELING. But really I guess I am going to have to be tough for a while and not give them an inch be SOLID and get them into more of a structure so Im not stressed out. So tonight I started with bed time!! Because we will let them sleep on our floor or camp out in the living room or watch a movie...then when we want time to ourselves we never get it because they think they can get us to give in...So there needs to be only one night a week they can do that and NO EXCEPTIONS!!!
I love being a parents and love my kids but I hate having to do the tough love..but really if you dont it teaches them such bad habits and no consistancy in life!!
so sorry to do the mommy venting again but HEY my downstairs is clean including my spotless bathroom!!! I even wiped down walls...they were bad imagine with a 2 yr old potty training, 3 yr old trying to wipe her butt, 4 yr old, 5 yr old and 6 yr old boys with not so good aim...YUCK!!! but its better now!!!OH AND THE TOOTHPASTE...It looks like they brushed everything in the bathroom EXCEPT their teeth!! haha
Today was a very long day...I was the mom, the nurse, the youth pastor, the cleaner, the cook...I can say i pretty much did it all today...and glad its over ready to start another day!!
Well since its 3 am and I have to be up at 7 and I want to read some of a new book i got i best get going!!!
I just finished making chili for our cookoff tomorrow. I made a texas style with beef stew beef instead of ground. It turned out pretty good I think.
I'm finding it hard to juggle work, school, working out and dieting. If I do a couple of them, I end up leaving out another. I guess I can't be perfect but they are all important. If I just didn't need sleep...
Momof4, you are doing a very difficult job and doing it well. I'm impressed with all the housework. What are aero pants?
Leenie, I just notice for some reason that you are 5'10". I always picture you a little shorter, don't know why.
Only half read the posts today... I will catch up over the weekend...
Its been such a horrible week or should I say two weeks... I've been trying not to vent but I have more or less figured I have had it...
2 weeks ago my step-mother went completely looney to say the lease... She started flipping out the someone was linked to her computer and her cell phone.. and she accused me of doing it. I am not that smart with computers for one even though I do know a lot. It ended up causing her a nervous breakdown. She has been in the hospital for almost 2 weeks now. She still keeps saying that she is going to get everyone in trouble that has contact with her. She thinks she is doing something illegal. Which she is not. My brother and I have been all over her computer. She also keeps yelling at the doctors and nurses telling them that they are going to be fired for treating her and that since her name is in their computer the hospital is going to get shut down. She shakes like crazy. All of this I know from my dad. The switched her meds earlier this week and hopefully that will help. I still don't know when she is coming home... I have been so mad at her because she blamed me from it. She has had a habit for blaming me in the past which pisses me off and normally I have let it go... This time I can't. I refuse to talk to her or even go see her. Everyone thinks I am wrong for being this way. Am I? So I am stuck...
My schedule is also off.... I have been at my dad's everyday after school taking care of my son from 3:30pm - 10pm. I do as much studying that I can but I don't get into it like I do when I am home... I don't mind being with my son... That is never a problem... But I had set a time when I would go home to study and a time when I would be with him...
My diet has been thrown off.... I have been gaining instead of losing. Whenever I am at my dads all I do is eat... I don't know why... So I have to work on that....
I have been doing better about exercising... tho... I took the elliptical out of my room. I just couldn't do it... My legs are so weak.. that I couldn't do more than 3 minutes... So I brought my gazelle in my room. I can do that with no problem... So that has been my workout.. I just have to keep at it...
I found out after doing a PDR Exercise for my Pharmacology class that the Clecxa I have been taking for depression has messed up my moods bad... I am going to take to the doctor about stopping it...
I'm having a great week so far. I go to a clubhouse designed for people like me with mental health problems, for the purpose of rehabbing me to go back to work. One thing I've always had a problem with is consistency, and this more than anything is what interferes with my ability to work. Getting up and just doing it. Depression messes with my sleep, and if I haven't had a good night's sleep, I can barely function in the morning.
Hubby doesn't quite understand this. He is (thank God) blissfully unencumbered by mental illness, despite having grown up as an abused child. All he's got is a bit of social anxiety. Driving a bus for a living and going to church on Sunday is about all the intermingling with people that he can stand; he is so not a party person, although he can deal with small gatherings if it's people he knows well. There is also a touch of PTSD that comes out in the form of occasional nightmares, and he has had almost no contact with his father since turning 18.
He knows I am also an abuse survivor, and he does understand my own diagnosis of PTSD. But as for the depression, he doesn't get it. I also have the biochemical imbalance that goes along with diagnosed mental illness. He doesn't. He can cope. I can't, without professional help and medication.
So at my last therapy session, my hubby and I came up with a deal. I will try to get up and get going even if I've had a bad night, and he will not minimize my successes by saying, for example, "You only went to the clubhouse once last week." Instead he'll say, "Hey, good for you. You went to the clubhouse once last week. Let's try for twice this week."
And so far this week:
On Monday the clubhouse was closed for MLK. On Tuesday I had a *very* bad night and couldn't sleep, but I would have missed the clubhouse anyway due to my therapy appointment where we made this deal. It had been scheduled for 11:30, but I was unable to wake up sufficiently to go. I kept falling back asleep and *dreaming* that I was getting ready. I roused myself enough to call the therapist, fortunately found that he had a 2:00 opening, and napped until it was time to get ready for that. Then I made it there. Which pleased hubby, therapist, and me.
On Wednesday I still hadn't had good sleep, but I went to the clubhouse. Then to my group therapy session. Then out with my husband and daughter, impromptu, since he works second shift. It so happened that I arrived downtown to go to the Y at just the time hubby was starting his lunch hour, and that my daughter had happened to get off from college and was riding his bus on the way home, and that the Y isn't far from the bus transit center or the litte diner where we met-- a string of convenience, but it was very much fun. After dinner, to the Y.
Hubby's bus brought me home around 10:00, when I enjoyed a good hot bath and went to bed somewhere around midnight, after hubby had come home. But I woke up around 4:00 and could not get back to sleep. I have to get up at 6:30 to get to the clubhouse by 9:00 anyway; that's the way buses run.
So, on 4 hours of sleep over the last 48, I made it to the clubhouse on Thursday. It's open until 5:00, but I was planning to leave at 3:00 (when the actual workday ends) and go to the Y again. Nothing doing. At 2:00 my body hit the brakes. Staff knew I was on a sleep deficit, and nothing at the clubhouse is mandatory, so they had no problem with me going home and going right to bed.
Which brings me to why I am on the computer at 3:15 in the morning. A couple of hours ago I woke up hungry, not having eaten since lunch, and decided I'd make lunch for tomorrow at the same time. I'm just waiting for the beef to cool so I can cube it and it won't melt the mozzarella. A few cherry tomatoes, some celery slices, some turnip cubes, and some mixed nuts, and I've got a healthy low-carb lunch.
The coffee pot is pre-set, my gym bag is packed, and my clothes for tomorrow are laid out. As soon as my lunch is prepared, I'm going back to bed until 6:30. Clubhouse and the Y tomorrow. Then hubby and I both have the weekend off.
That will make three days I went to the clubhouse this week. Hubby says he's proud of me.
Last edited by LovebirdsFlying; 01-22-2010 at 06:17 AM.
Reason: Didn't realize how long it was; posted a warning.
didnt get a chance to read all the post I gotta wake up a lil more will read them later today.
Hope-aeropostale pants. i have to order them offline in order to get my size!
Trying to look at things in a more positive light today... Last night I went to bed at 2am... I have finally started to talk to my best friend again. We have been talking for a few weeks now.. and I am extremely happy that we are talking again... While we were not talking I always felt like part of me was missing. We finally made plans to hang out on Sunday... We are also working together on our diet/exercise plans.. SO hopefully it all works out
I am on plan with my diet today... Which is so good... I feel a little hungry but I know I can't eat until 5pm so I am doing my best to wait... Hopefully I will stick to the food schedule I made for myself... I also exercise on the gazelle and busted my butt or I should say my legs.. I burned 127 calories when I normally only burn 100... There is a plus.. plus I am doing abs and weights.
I also went to Barnes and Noble today and found a 90 fitness journal. I write all my food, and exercise in it... I did my calculations and I can only eat 1450 calories a day to lose weight.... Which is alot better than eating under a 1000.
Have a bunch of homework to do. Have a good day all
Gotta go to work and close again today. Day 3 of closing and I'm so glad I open tomorrow. I really wish I was off today. I've got a test next week and I need to be studying a little every day. That hasn't happened yet.
I ate a little too much yesterday. Why does that make you want to eat more? I don't get it. Well, just wanted to stop and wish you all a great Saturday.
is still up. 
I don't know if you guys have tried 'laughing cow' cheese but it is awesome. It's kinda like cream cheese. I used the lite garlic and herb and mixed it with spinach and mushrooms. The cheese only has 35 calories per wedge. I'll probably do it with chicken next which will be a little lighter than the lean pork chops.
but I want to make sure to connect to momof4 because, sweet one, I think I am just good at covering my horrible thoughts, while appearing to be 'okay'. Yesterday was another lousy day, I got up at 8:30 and had coffee, then went back to bed..got up at 1:00 pm, made myself work out...then went back to bed. With lots of 'down' thoughts. Like 'what's the use of life' and "why bother doing anything when it just has to be done again". Husband just said 'sorry you had a bad day'. But I went to bed thinking "okay, your bad days usually just last one day, so tomorrow should be better". And today was better! 
can't play, I'm at work and have a busy day ahead.
I guess I can't be perfect but they are all important. If I just didn't need sleep...
