November 2009 Chick Chat - Come Join Us

hope4me · 11-11-2009, 01:41 AM

Wow Momof4

, didn't know it had come to this. I can't imagine how hard that was for you. You are right though, you have to think about your kids and what is best for your family. It sounds like you did all you could. I'm so sorry.

Things will turn around.

Havisham, did we miss your birthday? Or is it still coming? I know 40 is coming, right? I've got 1 1/2 years to go and it is stressing me too a little.

Marbear and Vermont

Buddly, Heather- would love to see you...

I got the dogs washed and all of their bedding and such. I vacuumed and did some other things. It's funny how you still dont feel good about what you did unless the whole house is clean, at least I don't. I worked so hard and still there are plenty of spots I wouldn't let anybody see. I really need to get this house in order because it's just weighing on me heavily for some reason. I also want to decorate for Xmas soon while I'm in the mood. I didn't do anything last year and I don't want to do that again. Better get in bed.

VermontMom · 11-11-2009, 10:13 AM

momof4, that is so sad

but it sounds like you have tried your best and all you could do was let her go

I have bookmarked in my head that Havisham's bday is the 19th

so we will be sure to give her lots of balloons and flowers and hugs and virtual birthday cake that morning

hope4me, know what you mean about the housecleaning - I do one thing, and it makes everything else look worse

Hi

to everyone else

momof4under5 · 11-11-2009, 11:50 AM

We did try anything. I called the county caseworker last night and she said when kaci is ready she will contact us..she said she knew we werent keeping Kaci for the money that we loved her...I know Kaci well enough to know she will miss it here because we were her family for three years. In her journals from the last group home it was only like 10 days after she was taken that she started journals and she was missing us and wished she had listened to us. She forgets how bad things are in those places and does whatever she wants but she wouldnt even look at me or say goodbye i didnt expect her too but it still kills me...so we will see how long before she contacts us. I cant write her all the time like last time she was in group home because I have 30 other teens in my yotuh group I have to take care of and boys to home school and kids to take care of...but I can write her occasionally...speaking of things to do I got a plate full today and all the kids and me sleep in today which is very very unusually. I got rooms to move around to move furniture to other rooms curtains to hang bathrooms to clean, school to do (missed yesterdays) dishes to do (missed yesterdays..lol) Ughh so much ok I need to go thanks girls... I know this too shall pass!!

Havisham · 11-11-2009, 06:42 PM

Hope and Vermont - how amazingly lovely that you remembered I have a birthday coming up!!! Vermont - I'm not sure my family would remember the date, so I'm totally flabbergasted. Colour me humbled, ladies!

Hope - I can definitely relate to the cleaning. If I don't do all of it at once, it feels almost like the bits I haven't cleaned are oooozzzing in to the clean bits.

Mom - I'm so sorry that all this is happening to you - there's a special place in Heaven with your name on it. And I suspect all your kids will be there eventually and they'll be waiting on you hand and foot!

Leenie - SO glad you escaped the first round of cuts. I'm keeping everything crossed for you. Keep me posted - if it does come to anything bad, I'm in the same field and I can see if I have any leads.

Anyone heard from Lost since the move? She's been quiet a while.

So, to anyone I've missed...

Thanks, all for keeping me motivated.

hope4me · 11-12-2009, 12:55 AM

Long day, check in tomorrow.

momof4under5 · 11-12-2009, 01:39 AM

havish-thank you..you made me smile and i needed that

So I didnt want to go to youth tonight because just getting a teen removed then being around a bunch of teens..just didnt think I would make it but since I missed last wed for my grams viewing and my husband had all the teens by himself last week he wanted me to go. So I went got there right at starting time but of course a kid was at the door waiting for kaci and was like where is kaci..I just kept walking...then the girls flocked to me to tell me about their week they all fight for my attention...one broke up with her boyfriend..another one is giving me ideas for drama...another one is telling me about a girl that moved...at the end when some were singing its like these girls dont get attention at home..its sad they hang on me and just want that love and acceptance.. I had one on each side of me with my arm around them and another one came up behind me she was crying (has a rough home life)....i wonder how much they feel loved at home....Sometimes some of those girls I think try to think of something to tell me just so they can come talk to me to have my attention for that 1 minute...its almost like my kids at home...just they are older...they just want someones attention...breaks my heart to know there are girls that dont get that love and attention without having to earn it or work for it.... So for right now I guess to fill my time (as if I have extra..LOL) I am going to try and write each of them as I feel lead! Someone needs to encourage them and push them and tell them they can be somebody...it dont matter what their past is or what they have been told...They are not bound by that...whatever they put their minds to with Gods strength and endurance they can do it and more...

ok well guess ill jump off the soap box...i did end up crying because my husband was mean after I made myself go he just expected me to put on that happy face and be ok...but Im not like that..I dont wear my emotions on my face but this is almost like grieving because shes not going to be in our life for a long time if at all...she is gone...hes like well your all gloomy...i really wasnt i just wasnt all jumping and smiling and happy...MY HEART IS BREAKING for crying out loud....He did apologize but still it made me cry instead of holding myself together....ugh...men

well i did ok eating today but I am sure all I did burnt some calories...I moved her bed out of her room and put the girls toddler beds in there (had to tear the one apart and put back together) moved dressers around cleaned it aired it out, swept it including dust bunnies, hung clothes, put clothes in dresser, set up the spare room with the bed a night stand and dresser (maddies old room) then I cleaned my bathroom which was WELL over due...cloroxed it scrubbed baseboards, floors on hands and knees, shower even with tooth brush, walls, then finished up some dishes and got ready for youth....long day everyone is sleeping gonna probably go read cause I got 4 different books i have been waiting for ALL last week and of course havent had time to read them...so sorry its so long night!

VermontMom · 11-12-2009, 03:40 PM

hello everyone, momof4 I wish your DH would have understood, that was one time you just could not put on the happy face just for appearances

I am fighting, fighting a major depressive state, it just comes on so unexpectedly; i spent most of yesterday, my first day off, in bed. I was ashamed of myself but not so ashamed that i didn't do it. Today, I got up on time, but went back to bed but then forced myself up at 10:30 and worked out; then have been so-so. At least I showered, put makeup on and went to town and got my snow tires put on. A small accomplishment but it helps.

Back to work tomorrow and that's good because I have no choice in the matter, I have to go.

Hope everyone else is doing okay.

Havisham · 11-12-2009, 05:34 PM

Good afternoon, chickies,

Mom - you have to remember that, as Hermione says in Harry Potter, most men have the emotional range of a teaspoon. Smile thinly at him and remember that you are woman, therefore superior in every way - and he is merely a man, and deserves our sympathy and compassion. I mean, come on, it's been scientifically proven that they can't even do more than one thing at a time - we have to feel bad for them!

Vermont - I'm so sorry you're down. I can relate - well, I'm sure we all can. I could say motivational stuff like, 'do some cleaning, cook a lovely meal, read a book' but you'd just be thinking, "oh, sanctimonious bi**h, like it's that easy". Realistically you just wanna curl up in bed with some chocolate and be left alone...it's human nature - it's practically why God gave us chocolate. Since you ROCK 360+ days a year, why feel bad if you spend a day in bed??? Lay around and enjoy it till you can't bear your own smell any longer. Then have a good long bath - put on some happy music and turn it up LOUD. I've discovered it's physically impossible to be depressed if one is singing at the top of ones voice. It's also invaluable in the car - when doing the commute - SING - and I like to add in the head motions and the arms - who cares if the guy in front of you thinks you're certifiable - he's a guy - see my note to mom! You are woman, hear you roar - Tomorrow.

Marbear, Leenie, Hope - hang in.

I feel like I've had this week of constant meetings, one after another - and not actually accomplishing anything....in fact,as I write this I'm on a telecon...I'm SO bad!

Sometimes you have to have these little rebellions - it's like wearing a business suit with a sexy red thong underneath! I'm so easily pleased!

Thanks for being there and keeping me motivated, ladies!

VermontMom · 11-13-2009, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Havisham

Since you ROCK 360+ days a year, why feel bad if you spend a day in bed??? Lay around and enjoy it till you can't bear your own smell any longer.

that was great!! and a good point about being pretty good most of the time. I have never missed work because of an episode; my worst days have been when I have off. why is that, do I pick and choose when I 'can' withdraw? who the heck knows. I just know I feel better today.

Husband had an interview yesterday, and another one today.

Hello to everyone

and

VermontMom · 11-13-2009, 08:44 AM

I am having alot of trouble getting to this site and posting successfullly, anyone else?

hope4me · 11-14-2009, 06:37 AM

Yes! Major trouble logging on here! It's been killing me. Wanted to let you all know that I've been trying faithfully though.

Looks like by the activity in here others have had some trouble too. Gotta be at work at 6am.

I hope I can check in later. Have a great weekend girls.

momof4under5 · 11-14-2009, 10:39 PM

yeah I have to keep retrying it to get in.....
still here!!

Leenie · 11-15-2009, 12:13 AM

Ahhhhhh finally we can post

Glad to see everyone is here.

Mom

hope4me · 11-15-2009, 12:25 AM

Hi chicks, just glad I could get in here! It's good to be back.

What's on everyone's agenda for Sunday??

VermontMom · 11-15-2009, 09:59 AM

good morning, hey a quick connection!

Sunday's a regular work day for me, that's okay. Pretty wet and dreary, I couldnt do anything outside anyway.

my brief 'very down' episode is already over, yay

Hope everyone is doing well