I am not on any kind of depression meds. I was years ago but had issues with them and it is really not an option now as I have no insurance.
Anyway, I am soooo sick of the struggle. I am sick of loathing myself. I am sick of the media. I am sick of the "looks" from people and being asked when my baby is due. I am sick of needing clothes and refusing to go buy them because I have a wardrobe of nice clothes that I could wear if I only lost 20 pounds! Why cant I just be happy with how and who I am AT THIS MOMENT. My metabolism is zilch now that I am 40 and I cannot exercise (cardio) because of injury.
I know I just have to reach down inside myself and find the strength but I am just so frickin' tired of it all! Sometimes the pressure on myself is so great I am ready to starve myself and be done with it....or have my darn mouth wired shut.