[jakesmommy1]

I am so depressed about being so big! My DH has been great about it but the other night he tells me that he is afraid for my health. I know he can't stand looking at my fatness! He never wants to do "anything" with me! I am just not attractive to him I know it! He says I am but he's lying. I just feel like such a loser and so out of control. I overeat all the time! I weigh 215 and have 75 lbs to lose! It's alot of weight but I have tried to get it off and it comes right back b/c I love to eat sweets. Can anyone help me?

[Leenie]

Hi Jakesmommy and welcome.

First of all your hubby probably does love you, I am in the same boat as you are and my hubby says the same thing to me. We both look at ourselves with microscopes and we see things others don't . Let me ask you, why can't he love you like the way you are? Yes he is concerned about your health and that is normal and if he wasn't I think that would mean he didn't care. So look at this positively, he loves and cares for you and wants only whats best. Your not seeing that your only seeing your weight (which I can sooooooooo understand).

Second, only you can help yourself, I've come to learn in my life that NOBODY can do it for me. Yes people can help and be suportive, thats why we are here and thats why I bet you found us so that you can help others during your journey.

I to have to lose 75 lbs. Stick with us and maybe we can help one another. There are lots of forum to help out.

We are glad your here and hope we can help.

Love, Leens

[Moody]

Hi: I just learned of this forum today. I was out looking for someone to help pick me up, because I have been teetering on the edge of my sanity. I know how you feel...oh, do I ever! One thing that popped into my mind when I read your posting is that, and this is in my relationship so I could be wrong, I think your husband just wants you to be happy with who you are. Strong in yourself and happy. And he wants you around for a long, long time because he truly does love you. One day it occured to me that I would go nuts if my hubby was constantly bashing himself and afraid of life (like I am). I continually project my own negative feelings about myself on him. It sounds like perhaps you are doing the same. Let me assure you, he loves you. Believe him. The difficulty comes because we know we are wonderful women somewhere inside. I blame and use my weight to avoid the responsibility for my own happiness. I don't know if these thoughts are reflective of yours, but just know you aren't alone. I'd love to chat with you anytime. You've got a friend.

P.S. I have four children (17, 15, 13, and 11). I have been a stay at home mom all their lives.