I'm reading a book about building self esteem. It was written for teens about 30 years ago (there are references to looking like Don Johnson in it
) , but it has some really good ideas. For homework, I'm identifying the negative messages that The Voice uses to bring down my self esteem (remember, the Voice always lies) and how I can answer it. I thought I'd do the exercise here and invite you wonderful people to join in with telling our negative Voices to go to Hades!
Some of mine are:
"You didn't get that (job/scholarship/etc) because you're fat."
I didn't get it because someone else more closely fit their expectations. I deserve to get a (job/scholarship/etc) and there are plenty of people who think so!
"You're too old (or fat) to wear that (fairy costume/leather outfit/lingeree)."
Age has exactly squat to do with beauty! I have a right to feel beautiful!
"You're a big fatty fatso!" (yes, I've really called myself names)
Shut up! I've made some bad decisions in the past, but I'm making better ones now. I deserve respect whatever my size!
"You make them uncomfortable. You talk too much in class."
There's no way to know what they're thinking - you can't read minds. I have plenty of friends in my classes. Not everybody has to like me!
"What chance have you got with your genes and lack of nurturing. It's no wonder you're such a **** up! Your parents had no business conceiving you!"
I'm more than the result of my parents upbringing. Where I started and what I have to work with means only that I'll have to work harder to achieve what I want, not that I won't achieve it.
Wow! I've been really mean to myself! I'd never talk that way to another person!
Hmm. I think I've come up with a good standard response to the "Voice" when I can't think of anything else:
Shut up! I deserve more respect than that!
Anybody else feel like yelling at their negative Voices?
Training self-talk
I know I hear similar Voices when I'm getting down on myself. 
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