Post Partumn, anyone? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Austons Mom · 08-09-2008, 01:35 PM

Hi, I'm new to the forum, have about 50lbs to lose, and am struggling with PPD. Saw my Dr last friday, and now have scripts for Xanax and Zoloft...

I love my son, born 6/19, but I can't handle being a mom. Seriously, there are days where its all I can do to feed him and not cry....

Anyone else have/had PPD, and how are/did you cope? I feel crazy....

Leenie · 08-09-2008, 01:56 PM

Oh yes, I had it bad when I had my DD almost 7 years ago. I went to my doctor and she gave me zoloft which gave me really bad thoughts... so I immediatly went off it and went on Welbutrin... what a world of difference it made for me. Within a few months I was able to go off it and live what I consider a normal life... I enjoyed being a mom.. FINALLY!!!!! Its so hard when you go from one life style to another with in the blink of an eye and your hormones are going NUTS. Is your DH helping you? are you getting enough sleep? I wasn't so make sure you are and this will help ALOT.

PPD is just awful, and unfair. When the whole world loves being a mom and you can't figure out why you don't its really a scary thing. Thank God there is help. I'm so glad you recognized the symptoms and went for help. If you get no help from your meds, go back to your doc and get something that will help.... everyone IS different. Stay strong sweetie, you deserve a happy life and so does your sweet baby.

DBFANFOREVER · 08-09-2008, 02:56 PM

Oh yeah, I had it BAD!!! My son, now 7, was a very colicy baby. I had to have an emergency c-section, and the doctor botched it. AND, my son was in the NICU for a week because they thought his lungs weren't developed because he wouldn't cry, however he was, and still is, just a stubborn little kid!

I had PPD for at least 8 months. My doctor put me on Paxil, which by the way they had me on during pregnancy, and it led to the road of not only gaining weight, crying at the drop of the hat, and wanting to kill myself, but it also led the way to me cutting again.

I used to cut when I was in high school and went to years of therapy to stop it from happening. Yet, there I was still cutting and having to deal with a child that wouldn't stop crying by myself.

The thing is, you have to keep thinking positive thoughts. Even when you are thinking the negative, you have to change the thoughts to the positive. Like if your child is crying, and all you want to do is sleep and ignore them, just think about how great it will be when he/she starts walking. Or think about their first day of school, or their first day of college.

I know it is hard, and I know that just hearing this won't change anything, but believe me, it will help. And as of right now, you do not need to worry about your weight. Even if your sugnificant other decides to tell you that it's baby fat and it'll go away, it will go away, but you shouldn't be worried about that as of now. Trust me on this one, once that kid starts crawling and walking, you're going to get all the exercise you need.

If you need the meds, take them, however, I have been on one type or another for many years and up until about 2 years ago, I totally stopped taking them. It's really your coice if you really want to take them or not. However, you should remember that your body just went through 9 months of having a child growing inside you, to having that same child ripped from your loins and is now crying and needing you every second of every day. Give yourself a break, it's okay to be feeling the way you are. Yoyr horemones are all out of wack, and until they are able to stabilize, you are going to go through these massive amounts of mood swings and tears.

It is completly normal!!! If it does start to really bother you, then I would suggest talking to your doctor, or taking the pills.

Does any of that make sense?

Austons Mom · 08-09-2008, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leenie

Oh yes, I had it bad when I had my DD almost 7 years ago. I went to my doctor and she gave me zoloft which gave me really bad thoughts... so I immediatly went off it and went on Welbutrin... what a world of difference it made for me. Within a few months I was able to go off it and live what I consider a normal life... I enjoyed being a mom.. FINALLY!!!!! Its so hard when you go from one life style to another with in the blink of an eye and your hormones are going NUTS. Is your DH helping you? are you getting enough sleep? I wasn't so make sure you are and this will help ALOT.

PPD is just awful, and unfair. When the whole world loves being a mom and you can't figure out why you don't its really a scary thing. Thank God there is help. I'm so glad you recognized the symptoms and went for help. If you get no help from your meds, go back to your doc and get something that will help.... everyone IS different. Stay strong sweetie, you deserve a happy life and so does your sweet baby.

Thank you so much for the warm welcome.

I've actually had bouts of depression for most of my adult life, though I had always been able to deal with it myself. This time thought, I recognize that I CANT handle it myself.

DH helps, when I ask. *sigh* And I have to ask, EVERYTIME.

No, I def don't get enough sleep, but, I think it comes with the territory... I have devised a sneaky way to get more however. I only do it on the weekends, since DH doesn't have to work - I turn up the baby montior REALLY loud, and just lay REALLY still untill he gets up and takes care of the screaming baby.

And, thats exactly how I feel. Everyone loves being a mom, and here I am hating myself, hating the baby, hating my life and everyone in it. And then I hate myself even more for feeling this way... Its really awful. I feel like I didnt bond with Auston, and even when he is cute and smiling and happy - I feel completely disconnected from him. And when he is crying and wont sleep, I want to just run away. I tell him I want to drop him off on a church doorstep. And I completely understand how those crazy women drown thier babies... I wouldn't, but I understand it now. And then I cry becuase I shouldn't be feeling like that.

LukesMommy1987 · 08-10-2008, 03:19 AM

I was feeling this a lot when I first had my son. Trust me, everything will fall into place, even though nothing is how you thought it would or should be now.

It's easy to resent your baby, your body, your whole life after having a baby...it hits really hard..especially not getting any sleep. I have had depression throughout my whole life myself, and it somehow feels much worse when you have someone who depends on you- and is supposed to be the light of your life. You feel so guilty.

I hope things get brighter soon. My son is almost four months old, but things are getting much better. I just love him so much, whereas before I just felt so disconnected from him, and so bad about it, especially doing it on my own- and it sounds like you don't get much help either. It WILL change!

Leenie · 08-10-2008, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Austons Mom

I've actually had bouts of depression for most of my adult life, though I had always been able to deal with it myself. This time thought, I recognize that I CANT handle it myself.

Thats exactly how I am, I'm not on any meds currently but have had years where I go on and off of them, lately I've been able to handle things with out it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Austons Mom

DH helps, when I ask. *sigh* And I have to ask, EVERYTIME.

No, I def don't get enough sleep, but, I think it comes with the territory... I have devised a sneaky way to get more however. I only do it on the weekends, since DH doesn't have to work - I turn up the baby montior REALLY loud, and just lay REALLY still untill he gets up and takes care of the screaming baby.

Ok, you need to tell your DH exactly what your saying to us here because if he's like my DH, he doesn't have a clue as to how severe this is. Explain to him that this feeling will go away but he needs to help, if he doesn't, the entire family suffers. Drill it in his head... seriously. When people don't suffer from something its hard for them to really understand.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Austons Mom

And, thats exactly how I feel. Everyone loves being a mom, and here I am hating myself, hating the baby, hating my life and everyone in it. And then I hate myself even more for feeling this way... Its really awful. I feel like I didnt bond with Auston, and even when he is cute and smiling and happy - I feel completely disconnected from him. And when he is crying and wont sleep, I want to just run away. I tell him I want to drop him off on a church doorstep. And I completely understand how those crazy women drown thier babies... I wouldn't, but I understand it now. And then I cry becuase I shouldn't be feeling like that.

So many of us understand this, your not along and I hope you realize you will get through this. Make sure you get enough sleep...you MUST!!! Also, get some fresh air, take a walk with the baby and eat right, get some vitamins and eat some healthy food. I know when I'm sleep deprived I eat and eat and eat hopeing the food will give me energy when the only thing it gives me is extra pounds and more tired.

Do you have anyone that can babysit and give you a breather? if so TAKE IT !!!! even if its just to go shopping by yourself. Tell your family if they are around whats going on... ask for help, there is no shame in it because it happens to so many of us. I remember my mom saying "gee, we couldn't even look at you and you'd start crying" LOL, well yeah..thats how bad it was.

I feel so bad for you sweetie

but please keep in mind that it will get better, just pay close attention to your meds.

Now go kiss that little sweetie of yours.... don't you worry, your a good mommy... you really are.

walking2lose · 08-10-2008, 10:46 AM

Hi Auston's Mom and LukesMommy1987,

First, my heart goes out to both of you. I'm so glad that your doctor is working with you to get some control over the PDD. I have friends who have suffered from it, and it was a dark period for them.

Second, this is just an observation, and I hope it doesn't offend either of you. I noticed that you are both young and that both of your screen identities are about being your baby's mom, which of course you are and which of course is a big part of who you are. But I wonder if maybe you are both feeling an overwhelming sense that having a baby has caused you to lose YOURSELVES and your identity (who you are/were as a PERSON... prebaby). And since you are young, perhaps you were just coming into your own and knowing who you were -- I was at that age.

While you are and must be 100% wrapped up in caring for a new infant right now -- which is emotionally and physically DRAINING to say the least -- you are still the person you were before you had your baby.

I'm not sure if my words make any sense. I know you want to be the best moms possible, but I think t's important that you not lose yourself in the process. Hang in there through this very difficult infant stage... when the baby is a bit older, and you are getting more sleep, perhaps you have a friend or your mom who could watch the baby 1 night a week (or DH), so you can take an art class or maybe yoga or something for YOU.

I wonder if doing so will make you a happier and therefore a better mom?

I am 40 with no children, so please take my words with a grain of salt. I hope that the meds help and that the suport picks up from your husbands. Hang in there!!!

crazy4weightloss · 08-11-2008, 10:46 AM

First off big hugs to you. I went through severe ppd with anixety 2 yrs ago. It was the worst time of my life. The worst. If you'd like to talk PM me. I can share my story with you and tell you that you WILL get better. I have a bunch of links I can send you too.

willowkaii · 08-17-2008, 11:03 PM

Hang in there!! all these moms have given you great advice. i found that therapy helped me a lot, there are alot of books at libraries that helped me understand what i was going through better. my son is 3 now and i still take my zoloft and i love being a mom. ppd is horrible yet aloty more common than i realized at the time. the thing to remeber is taht there is nothing at all wrong with you!!! You're body just went through creating another life and for some moms it throws everything out of whack including our brains ability to create what it needs. for me it was that along with past traumas plus my genes combined that set me off. talking to a therapist really helped. maybe there is a support group in your area, alot of places have free counseling for ppd moms. you are not alone, if you feel it coming on, call a friend or someone you trust, go for a walk, watch a funny movie. and if you need to take the meds, do it. it is so worth enjoying your child than sitting around feeling like crap.