[pollypage]

Hi can see where your coming from who in thier right mind would want to comprimise thier and thier baby's health just to have a little girl (nothing nasty here when I say "just"), you have two healthy little boys I would be more than happy I would be ecstatic with that.
I cant or maybe I can belive how insensitive some can be, if at some point you decide to adopt good on you sister you sound like you could give a child a great home and family, you must do whats right for you and your family.
Loadsa luv Polly

[150reasons]

I don't know if this has any bearing on your situation or not, because I don't know how old your guys are. Age of children mad a big difference in my situation. Shortly after my second son was born I went to the doctor for a tubal ligation. My husband, (now ex husband) did not want any more kids and pretty much coerced me into setting up the appointment and surgery. I left the consultation crying hysterically. I canceled the appointment for the surgery a few days later. I could not bear the thought of not being able to conceive again. It killed me, crushed me, suffocated me. I tried over the next two years (at the insistence of my husband) to do the surgery. I couldn't. I wouldn't. Now my youngest son is four. I now, after having time to reflect and be with my family, don't want another child. It's not because of the divorce. It's because I am happy with my kids, and my life. Give yourself time to think about what you want to do. Stop blaming yourself for the miscarriage. They are horrible, but they are a fact of life. I have had two of them myself, so I understand, and we always blame ourselves, but it simply isn't so. It's time to change your thinking. Instead of focusing on what is making you unhappy, focus on what you need to do to make yourself happy. Give yourself time to heal, and time to figure out what it is you really want. Blessings to you.

[freeda]

I think the reason you're obsessed with it is because the choice was taken away from you.

I kind of felt the same way when my husband single-handedly decided that we weren't having any children together. (We each have one from our first marriages.) While I was fifty/fifty about having kids before, being told that I *couldn't* have them made it really hard to handle. Same for my bipolar diagnosis meaning I can *never* reenlist again, and many other issues.

Feeling robbed of our choices is the most frustrating feeling ever.

[hotfoot]

Originally Posted by djay

Here is a different perspective! I am the middle child and I hate it! I will never be as special as the oldest nor as cute as the youngest. I felt basically ignored when I was growing up. My parents are great but the oldest knew all the tricks to get attention and what she wanted. The baby didn't even have to try. Every one takes care of the baby. Now I love my brothers and sisters to death so I'm not whining. This is a very common thing for middle kids...Do some research.

Now take a look at your baby boy...Do you want him to be a middle kid? I feel so strongly about it that I refused to have a third just so my baby would never have to feel the way I feel. D

I'm not a middle kid--I'm actually the older of 2--but I know a lot of people who are the middle ones, and a lot of family that have 3 kids, and it just seems that the middle child always seems to feel left out, over looked, by passed, or otherwise forgotten about, and of course there are emotions that flow over into adulthood and just create absolute havoc with their self esteem, self confidence, and are often unable to have satisfying relationships.

OF COURSE, I don't mean that YOU are dysfunctional--we don't know each other, how could I even suggest that? --but many of the ones I do know display these feelings and characteristics.

So I've told DH that on no uncertain terms, we will have at least one, but not 3 or 5--even numbers only after the first one! I don't want any of my children to feel as though they aren't just as special as the others.