Hello, I am new tothe website and forum. I do not know if I am in the right place or not. I have not been diagnosed for depression by a doctor because I do not currently have health insurance and cannot afford to see a doctor. But I have researched the disease and have all the symptoms.
I have just been dumped after a 4 year relationship (heartbreaking). I am soo lazy. I don't have the motivation to do anything. I sit on the couch all day whenever possible (which is almost everyday since I am not currently employed and collecting unemployment).
I feel like I have lost all my friends since I am just too lazy to do anything with them.
I guess I feel like my whole world was turned upside down and I don't have the ambition or motivation to do anything about it. I sit and think of all the things that I need to do to change my life around. I even go to the extent of planning day to day what I need to do. But none of my plans ever get started.
I just need to know that I am not alone in the world. I need friends the support me and also understand what I am going through.
Like I said earlier, I don't know if I am in the right place or not. If I am please HELP. If I am not, do you know where I might find the support I need.
Just reading the threads has given me a comforting feeling. You guys seem great and I hope to here from you soon.
"Never eat all you crave, spend all you have, or sleep all you want."
Hi there! Never feel like you are alone. There are many people, such as myself, who have suffered depression and are overweight..seems to be a trend LOL.
I promise you can get through it. Do something just for you..Go out get a haricut, manicure..whatever might make you feel pretty and confident. The tiniest little things can spark a whole mountain of positive feelings. You need to start feeling good about YOU before you start worrying about anyone else.
I know it's hard to pick yourself up when you are feeling down and feel alone, but there is always something to hope for no matter how bleak things may seem. If nothing else, feel positive that you are aware there is a problem and you are willing to try and fix it!
I know if you said you are unemployed so you are probably eligible for state health care, is there a clinic near you that you can go to get yourself on some medication? that might be the key to help you get started in feeling better ... I know it has helped me.
Hi care bear,
I am on the same page as you. I have not been diagnosed, but there is no doubt that i am depressed.
I have been seeing a counselor for 6months or so, and it has helped some. I'm one of those people who wants to avoid medication if I can, so i am trying to overcome this without it.
Also i came to this page hoping to find some support today, so basically I am starting today. (even though that is what i say everyday.)
I know i need to do something different with myself because I've hit 180 and haven't seen that number in quite a few years.
So where do you want to start? Have you any ideas of what you want to do diet wise? What type of activity do you like? Here, you can borrow some advise from my counselor: " if everyone ate a healthful diet an excercised everyday, I would be out of a job."
Don't worry about sitting around all day, and feeling lazy. You are not, it is just part of the depression. I completely understand, I have been there many times. i does not last forever. Esp. with a break up of a relationship. But no hurt lasts forever.
Do you like to read? I can reccommend a few books that have helped me. Some are from my counselor.
Hey, again you are not the only one. I've been complaining to all the nice people here for a couple of months that I can't get myself to do anything. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I can sympathize.
I can tell you that some days are better than others. For a while I wouldn't do anything but eat. Didn't even want to shower. Now for some reason I usually have enough ambition to do at least one task a day like clean something or run an errand. It makes me feel good just doing something small.
Keep posting and maybe we can all help each other.
You ladies are wonderful You all are so motivating and make me realize that I am not alone in this huge world. There are others that feel and think the way I do. I could type a whole page in respnse to all four of you. I just feel that I can relate to what each of you said.
Mary-This is probably a little corny but here goes. I am full blown Tom girl. I don't do many girl things. I grew up with my brothers friends and still to this day have more male friends than female (probably part of my problem). In anyy case, I painted my fingernails and toenails today and it made me feel more feminine and a little sexy. Corny, I know but it made me feel better. I don't normally do girly things like paint my fingernails, wear make-up, wear dresses, or do my hair all pretty. It is kind of like a bold move for me to do that so normally I don't. but when I do it makes me feel sexier. Thanks for the encouragement.
I like to feel sexy (self motivater).
Leenie-Hello and thanks for the welcome. As for my job situation, I am unemployed but I do get unemployment so I can't get any state help. My unemployment apparently is over the neccessary level of income. So I am just trying to do this unmedicated. I feel like I have the right train of thought to come out of this, I just can't find the motivation. I think I just haven't looked in the right place. thanks for the advise I will surely look into any program that I might be eligable for.
Kaebea-I love you counciler, I want one. I really do, I use my journal as a counciler except it never gives me any advise. I just simly can't afford that at the current moment. As for a starting point, I have started walking daily for about 40 minutes with my dog and am doing an exercise program 3 times a week. It is really only a stretsh routine that I got out of the Oprah magazine but it does involve sit-ups, push-ups, and crounches. As for eating healthy, I don't really eat that much in a day to really need any control yet. All I eat is dinner and that is usually pretty well balanced because I try to make my son a healthy meal. I really just need to aquire a better eating schedule. I know every always says that breakfast is the most important of the day but I am just not that hungry in the morning (probably because I don't exercise enough during the day). Sorry about the rambling. I just currently bought YOU on a diet and am about 1/2 way though it. It is quite motivating. Any suggestions for books would be appreciated. I love to read at the beach and it is almost beach weather up here, I am sooooooo excited.
Thanks for all the inspiration from you and your counciler.
Hope4me-Yes ther is hope for all of us. I can definitely relate to the one task days. I am proud of myself for accomplishing one thing in a day. There are some days that I have accomplished absolutely nothing but make my butt a little bigger and the couch a little flatter. I would sit there and think of all the things that I should, could, or need to do, but I would only just sit there. I would be mad at myself at night because I didn't do anything but then the next day I wouldn't do anything either. I just couldn't find any motivation. I have decided that I need to do this diet thing for ME and nobody else. But my son will be happier if I am healthier, my dog will be happier if he gets to walk everyday, and my ex will be jealous if I have a smokin' hot body LOL.
I have only just started this exercising bit but need to stay on task. I have exercised an astonishing 3 days straight but that feels like a big accomplishment for me. You ladies are so great and I hope to get to know all a little better. You are a great support system. I is like I have someone that I can relate to.
Hope to fell from you all very soon.
"Never eat all you crave, spend all you have, or sleep all you want."
it sounds to me like you have a good plan. I am a bit the opposite, for the most part i enjoy excersise and will do it regularly if I am not nursing a bum knee or other leg part, but I am a food-a-holic. I eat like a bottomless pit.
And i believe it is very closely linked to my depression, although how I am not entirely sure and am trying to figure out.
i also workout with my dog! we go out as many mornings as we can, that means if i can get my butt out of bed in time, usually about 3 or 4 mornings a week. I don't go very far, but we jog at least 10 minutes or just under 1 mile. i have worked up to 3 laps around the nieghbor hood, which is just over 2 miles, about 30 minutes. i used to run almost daily and dropped a ton of wieght, down to 150 without really trying. 150 is low for me, prior to that i probably had not wieghed 150 since the 4th grade! and i felt good and was eating good , but then i started getting injuries and other things and don't excercise nearly as much as i did.
One thing that keeps me going though is to tell my self if i just go out and do this measly 10 minute run, it will at least keep me in the habit of excercising.
i agree with you and Hope4me, that doing just one task a day makes a big difference. i suppose that it is one less thing to pile up and wiegh on your mind.
I'm glad you are able to cook your son a healthful meal. You are teaching him good habits. so how old is he?
here are some books my counselor reccomendes for depression:
the Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz--very short easy to read, sort of common sence things, but it is good to hear someone elses perspective.
i got mine at barnes and noble it's about 12 bucks.
She also reccomended one called The Chemistry of Joy. I have not read it yet but she said it would be ideal for me since i want to avoid pills.
she said its only 10 bucks on ebay.
It's great that you guys are exercising. That's the one thing that my last counselor begged me to do regardless of medication, because of the natural endorphins released. It makes a huge difference when I do it, just haven't been able to get myself to do it lately.
Like I said though, I'm gradually getting more energy and ambition and hope to start soon. I actually like exercise, which is a plus.
hey care bear, this is my first time here also, i also have depression, and have now for 30 years, but i have treatment resistent depression, so each day is a struggle,. two years ago i lost my beautiful father, untill then i had lost 4o kilo, since the ive put it back on and more,then 6 weeks ago when i had made a promise to myself that monday is the day im going to get this fat thing back on track, so out in the car i went to take the kids to school, droped them off then was planning to go to the local park for my first long walk and beginning of getting fit, and what happens, i have a car accident, and end up in critical care then coronary care unit with a broken sternum, internal bleeding, and collapsed lung....soooooo needless to say, i havent been able to do anything much for the last 6 weeks, and so just know i have added extra weight,,,,its so easy to do, especially when you are feeling sorry for yourself huh...anyway hi to all from down under(australia) im hoping to make some new friends here, catchya soon
One thing that is for certain for me is, I need music. When I get depressed it's almost too much work to even motivate myself to listen to up beat stuff. But...when I do manage to pull it off I feel great! One of my favorites is Grace Potter and the Nocternals. She's got a beautiful voice and really knows how to wail. Some other bands are Mofro, Wookiefoot and Robert Randolph. All are super fun and up beat. Makes you wanna smile. I know self help books work for some, but not soooo much for me. I really preffer to read fun books that make me laugh. I absolutely love Kim Harrison. Fun, interesting books that allow you to kinda remove yourself and go to another place. Doesn't hurt that it's a fun and exciting either. The library is always a good place to go for music and books. Plus it makes you get out of the house, AND you don't have to have conversations with people. Plus it's free. As for the music, try myspace. That's free and most of the time you can listen to tunes for free on the bands site. Good luck to all, and let me know if you like any of the music!!!
I'm new too.. mostly hang out over at the Fat Smashers area.. but stumbled upon this section of the board and your post.
Please do not think you are alone... I used to feel like you do. I never wanted to go anywhere or do anything... my friends would call and I wouldnt even answer the phone or call them back.. I just didnt want to deal with anyone or anything. I was very mopey, and contented to watch the world go by from my window. But that behaviour is not me... I just didnt see that I was falling deeper and deeper into depression.
3 and a half weeks ago I was put on Wellbutrin. I had gone into the Dr's to get a dermotology referal.. the doctor took one look at me and started asking me all kinds of questions. Anyways, long story short... she handed me 4 weeks of the Wellbutrin.
I am in week 3 (have an appt to see her next week) and I am doing so much better. It is hard to explain how I feel but there are no false highs and lows, I guess I just feel more balanced. The drug takes about 2 weeks to build up into your system but after my first week I noticed gradual positive changes in me.
I have lost 6 lbs and am excited to greet the day now. I have to say that I feel like being finally treated for depression has changed my life. I knwo you said that you dont have Med ins.. maybe you could call one of those stop in clinics and ask them what your options are. My doctor handed me the drugs.. I didnt have to pay for them.
Welcome Carebear. I am also new to 3FC and have never felt supported like this before. My friends have always grown tired of my obsession with my being overweight and depression issues. Nice to chat with someone that really understands.
I too was dumped by a boyfriend of 4 years. That was six months ago and while many people lose weight on the breakup diet, I sat on the couch and cried and stuffed my face. I had gained over 30lbs in the past 4 years and just couldn't see beyond the pain to realize that I could lose it and love myself ever instead of focusing on loving another person.
I have been in therapy for 12 years and on anti-depressants for almost that long too. I truly feel that both have kept me around in this world although the meds have not helped with the weight issue at all.
The only thing that has helped me in the recent past has been exercise. Yeah, getting myself up in the morning to do it is soooooo difficult. I have a friend that calls me every morning and won't hang up until I answer the phone to go to the gym. Some days I answer and hang up on her. LOL
Well, once I get there and do even a little bit, my mood is elevated for the rest of the day. I am taking baby steps but am determined to not let this disease of depression get the best of me.
There are many health professionals out there that work on a sliding scale
and I am sure you could find one that could help you. I too had no insurance for a time so I know it is possible.
Try to be good to yourself and know that sometimes you just gotta have those mashed potatoes with butter.
Wishing you well.