Chicks in Control Overeating? Binging? Share uplifting support and gain control!

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Old 06-12-2006, 10:00 PM   #91  
Eating for two!
 
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Thanks for the ideas, everyone! I guess I'm just abnormal in that, well, I do things I like all the time, not just as rewards We have Netflix, so we see new movies all the time. I don't take baths in my apartment because our bathtub is just too old and icky--I can't in good faith sit my naked rear on a surface that has so many colors (aaah, the joys of apartment living). It's not that it's dirty, mind you, just old and extremely worn, and who knows who else has sat there before me

I did okay over the weekend at the family gatherings. I just took a little of everything I wanted and didn't go back for seconds. I also shared the cake and ice cream with Jeff--he ate the ice cream, and I had the cake Today was a pretty good day as well. My scale says I'm up a bit, but it's not due to binging--likely just my lack of water over the weekend, so it should go away relatively quickly.
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Old 06-13-2006, 02:07 AM   #92  
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Hi Ladies. Well our apt. is CLEAN! So I figured I burned some calories with that! AND I had a healthy dinner. Yes you aren't reading that wrong, I, Sassy_Chick/Shel had a HEALTHY dinner.

I had 1 and only 1 small skiness & boneless GRILLED chicken breast & some red potatoes (very very small portion) w/ Snap Peas (yes a GREEN vegetable!) and it had red peppers in it too.

Now afterwards I did have an english muffin w/ sugar free jam and then later on had 1/2 of a cinnamon roll. But I think all in all, not too bad.

I am drinking a beer right now. But I highly doubt I will drink the entire thing. I usually drink just a little bit of it and then put the rest of it in a air tight canister for cooking or something.

So there ya go. NO fast food, no fried food, yes I did have an english muffin and 1/2 a cinnamon roll, but so take me out and shoot me! At least there are no more english muffins or cinnamon rolls in the house. We are dwindling down now in the food dept. We have absolutely NO soda in the house, which hub is whining about but he'll get over it. lol. I've been drinking nothing but water all day and all night long. So I figure a little bit of a beer won't hurt.

So sorry I didn't do 3 hrs of aerobic and no I didn't eat carrot sticks and celery all day but I think I did okay.

Sometimes I just feel like I don't belong here because I am not doing as good as everyone else. I think people see my posts and are like, "UGH what is SHE doing here? She is NOT committed to losing weight, she is a waste." That is just how I feel. I know its not true, just how I feel.

Thanks for listening and sorry I didn't do personals..........maybe tomorrow, er um later on today!
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Old 06-13-2006, 12:56 PM   #93  
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Please, don't feel that way. I know there are plenty of us who do feel that way.. I was like you too, afraid to post (life long lurker) because I thought people would say why is she here? Who does she think she is? etc. But you are stronger than you think, you are here talking about you deepest and darkest fears, moments and you are also sharing your successes with us, when ever I see someone either have a good day, NSV, or lose a lb or 2 it makes me feel good about why I am here. To give support to others on the same journey and find that motivation to continue on mine.

Hang in there.
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Old 06-13-2006, 01:06 PM   #94  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassy_Chick
Sometimes I just feel like I don't belong here because I am not doing as good as everyone else. I think people see my posts and are like, "UGH what is SHE doing here? She is NOT committed to losing weight, she is a waste." That is just how I feel. I know its not true, just how I feel.
You're CRAZY! Have you not seen my posts where I talk about eating an entire box of Little Debbie snack cakes? Or the ones about me buying a big bag of yogurt-covered pretzels every time I stop at CVS? Oooh, or the ones about how I was going to McDonald's about 4+ times a week and getting more than enough food to feed 2 people--I'd even upgraded my already enormous meals from regular cheeseburgers to double cheeseburgers! We all have problems with food here--perhaps some more extreme than others, but problems nonetheless. That's exactly why we're all here, and exactly why we ALL belong

Some of us have been fortunate enough lately that we have been able to come and share our successes rather than our binges, but that doesn't mean it's any easier, and it certainly doesn't mean we belong here any more than someone who is struggling more. I used to feel similarly about attending my TOPS group meetings. On the weeks I didn't do well, I felt like such a failure and as if I didn't belong. But then, reality struck, and I realized (along with the help of some of my TOPS friends) that the times we are doing poorly are the times we need the support the MOST. So if you're feeling down, then you SHOULD come here so we can all do what we can to help! After all, I know I, for one, originally came here to seek support, and I found it, and now I am here to offer it as well
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Old 06-13-2006, 01:23 PM   #95  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassy_Chick
Sometimes I just feel like I don't belong here because I am not doing as good as everyone else. I think people see my posts and are like, "UGH what is SHE doing here? She is NOT committed to losing weight, she is a waste." That is just how I feel. I know its not true, just how I feel.
My dear, if ANYONE should be embarrassed around here, it should be ME! I've been here for ummm... four years, have been a moderator for over two of those, and I've been up and down like a yo-yo.
I have all the answers (don't we all?), and little application power.
Don't feel that way, sweetie... this is hard for ALL of us. As Jill said, this is where the support is... in the good times and in particular, the bad.
One of these days you're going to be losing like crazy, and some of us will be thinking, "Darn that Shel! She's losing and I'm NOT!!!"
Hang in there, hon...

Nicklewise, we're so glad you're here, too.
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Old 06-13-2006, 04:43 PM   #96  
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finals are staring thursday
i have a term paper
i have a pseech-worht my final grade
i made up withthe girl i fought with
i lost the cummunity service election for VP and i feel likei lost to someone because of reverse disrimantion and popularity
also, i wanted the position because i care about the club, not because i wanted it to look good on my college applications!!
ugg
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Old 06-13-2006, 05:55 PM   #97  
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ok so like i said i did not becoem the vice predient of my community service person
i was listening to my announcements in homeroom which is right after 1st period when teh bell rang i had to eave the room adn walk past the girl (alos a friend of mine) who had beaten me, so what di i do-I congratulated her. I think that was the good thing to do but I felt so crappy saying it to her. I wanted to be the VP of the club because I realllly care about helping people, it makes my day worth while, Its what I enjoy, the girl who beat me wants to put it on her college resume. she doesn't even need it on her resume since she is an honors student and involved in other activites anyway, but what does she do? wins VP! when I saw her she wasn't even that excited about it-happy but not excited. If I had one I would have run through the halls screaming for joy, thanking ppl for voting for me-not her
I can't be like this but i am so disspointed in it.
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Old 06-13-2006, 06:14 PM   #98  
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Kristen, big hugs, sweetie. I'm sorry you didn't get the position, but you've got the BEST heart, and you're going to find yourself some marvelous positions in the future. I'm going to PM you later and tell you about my volunteer job.
And you did the right thing congratulating the winner. There's a lot of stuff in life that doesn't seem fair, but I think it's fate. You'll be the winner in the long run.
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Old 06-13-2006, 11:41 PM   #99  
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Hello and thanks ladies

I know that was just my "sugar demon" talking there. But it did feel good to get it out. I know I can do this, I just have to put my mind to it. I even had a dream lastnight that I lost weight -- a LOT of weight. So who knows? It could come true! And you wanna know one of my main motivations? (besides wanting to feel better and healthier) It sounds crazy, but its because at work there are a lot of nice looking women there. So I want to lose this weight so I get the attention, not them! Sounds like HS doesn't it? I just get tired of people only seeing me as "one of the guys" and it may not even change if I lose the weight, but I think it may. I just want to be recognized just once for ME and ME alone. Does that sound totally insane?????? lol. Maybe I should be going to a Shrink or something but I seem to "Blend in" to the wall there. That can be a good thing I know that, but just ONCE I would like to be recognized for looking good and not just because I'm the one holding the doughnuts! lol.

Big to those who need it right now. Sorry I didn't go more into detail with personals and all..........Maybe later.
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Old 06-14-2006, 05:43 AM   #100  
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Originally Posted by Sassy_Chick
It sounds crazy, but its because at work there are a lot of nice looking women there. So I want to lose this weight so I get the attention, not them! Sounds like HS doesn't it?
Doesn't sound like HS at all to me! I think even though most of us say we're doing this for our health or to set a good example for our kids or to become more fit or whatever noble reasons we have, there's a much more vain/superficial reason in there, too. I, for one, have NEVER been a normal weight since I was about 4 years old. Yeah, I want to be healthy, but that's honestly not my main motivation right now because I've never really had any weight-related health issues (I know that luck won't last forever, but still--prevention isn't much of a motivator for me ). No, I just want to be thin so I can go back to my hometown and show off to all the people who shunned me in high school because of my weight I want to go out with my boyfriend and not have his friends have to try to figure out what must be so great about me, since it surely isn't my physical appearance! I want to watch movies and not just be staring at the actresses bodies wondering how they stay so thin/fit (and I don't mean the insanely skinny ones like Paris Hilton, Brittney Murphey, or whatever...normal actresses ). I want so badly to be THINNER, not just healthier

Kristen--I have SO been there. When I was in high school, I ran for class historian. Not even an important position, but historian. This super-skinny "popular" girl ran against me, gave a crappy speech, didn't even know what the position actually entailed, and won anyway. So frustrating! At least,
hopefully, since you know the girl who won, you can think she at least will do the job (not better than you, of course, but better than some bimbo who doesn't care about it at all, ya know?). And I know it seems super important right now, but there are plenty of other ways you can help people, and honestly, once you leave high school and go to college, NONE of it will matter anymore I can't even count on all my finger and toes how many times during my first year of college I stopped and thought, "my god, why did I worry about that so much in high school?" So yeah, I agree with you that high school drama sucks

Oh, and I'll be first to admit I did things in high school just to have them on my college applications--not positions where it was only me and no one else could do it, but clubs and stuff. However, this is how I actually found some things I was interested in that I didn't think I would be!
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Old 06-14-2006, 08:46 AM   #101  
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Well - I've been avoiding most binges...but definitely come close more than i should...without mentioning specifics, i found an attraction to some hard candies yesterday and managed to eat about 7-8 points (WW) worth of them...that's roughly 400 calories...whoops - but I budgeted around it for the rest of the day, which is good...but i just wish that my habits were better - i'm trying to do that today...trying to avoid the candy...

grr...i feel like i've been doing so much better in the past week and the scale is not moving like it used to 6 months ago...i'm going to try to drink more water for the rest of the week and see how that goes...grr...

Kristen - I agree with jillybean - in a couple of years High School will seem like a distant memory and you will have other things occupying your mind. I pretty much hated high school. I was very shy, yet I was a good athlete and good at my schoolwork. Did this make me popular? um, no...You will get so much more out of your life once you are done with high school (IMO). Plus, it sounds like you are an extremely smart and talented person so I'm sure you will succeed in whatever you do. I went to my HS reunion last fall (10 years) and I will admit that I did take some pleasure in knowing that a lot of the 'cool' girls gained a lot of weight...without having kids...as mean as this sounds, i was like - ha! I may be overweight, but I'm about the same size I was when I graduated - nanny nanny boo boo...ok just kidding - i'm not that evil (or am I???)

Sassy - great job on having a healthy dinner...in our minds we know we are doing better even though to "others" we aren't because it's not the "perfect eating plan"...take pride in the little successes (good advice for myself too...) - oh yea, great job on cleaning your apartment - it always feels good to relax in a clean house, doesn't it? i know it takes a lot of stress off me

Jilly - good luck finding some simple ways to reward yourself...i too have at times made a habit out of going to CVS or other places to get snacks during the day. It's usually in the spring time when the little holiday candies are out (choc. bunnies, choc. hearts, etc...) - that was a lot of my downfall this year...you are not alone

Ellis - hang in there - thanks for putting Sassy's comment in perspective - for all of us

Harpo - girl - you have to move to Texas - they have jalapenos everywhere...it's very popular - i've gotten into the habit where i put them on almost everything! sandwiches, mostly - but it's becoming addictive - i'm glad that they are not many calories! There's this place here called Tommy's burgers - it is my DH's favorite...they make really good burgers...but i only had the jalp-burger - nothing else...go me

Here's to a binge-free day!
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Old 06-14-2006, 09:49 AM   #102  
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Hey guys Im here....its been a **** of a week here in MO...

Wednesday my grandmother died , she was 85 overweight with diabetes, congestive heart disease (or something like that), Failing kidneys, Messed up liver from alcohol and EDs, and a common cold killed her Death can be so stupid sometimes! We expected if anything for her heart to stop in her sleep...never did they expect it would be a common colds attack on her lungs that did it...she has been very sick for years so we were prepared.

Thursday my mom comes in (from FL) and stays with me (VERY STRESSFUL) I haven't seen her in 2 years but it was great, she never once mentioned my weight (she is 5'6" and 108 lbs) She did make me weigh in front of her "to see if my scales were right" And I did and when it said 138 she didnt say a word. My kids loved having their grandma who they call "mawMawFlorida" with them.

Friday and Saturday was spent protecting my mom (who is not in the best of health) from comments from her family that hates her...I was SOOO totally pissed (sorry for language but need to vent here) at one of my aunts...My husband was holding onto my moms arm the whole day *she is not "frail but not as strong as she thinks either* and the demon aunt comes up and says "who is this, did you have another son we don't know about or am I missing something along the way" like my mom remarried to a younger man or something GRRRR anyway my mom proudly stands and says "this is my daughters husband of 11 years (longest marriage of all my grandmothers granchildren I might mention) and this is my DAUGHTER and these are my GRANDCHILDREN" the aunt says "Well MY GOODNESS Sharon you have grown up so well considering your upbringing" I smiled and thanked her and made it look really good for my mom and we walked away and I turned and said (to the demon aunt that saw me just 3 weeks ago WITH MY HUSBAND AND KIDS ) "thats right "Little Sharon" is all grown up, Im an adult now so I can protect her...dont even TRY to hurt her today or it will be me you answer to" the whole day went on like this! Me, my husband and my little brother having to be the one to protect my mom from a family that has hated her since she was 16....

Yes my mom is not the best person in the world..sometimes she can be a total pain but she is my mom and without her I would not be the person I am today. And at a funeral of all places she should have been left ALONE to grieve instead of having to constantly put up with the looks and comments from her sisters...It was so bad! They tried to have us banned from the funeral, tried to have her name wiped off the obituary and did not include ANY pictures my mothers kids or grandkids! I was proud of my little brother on the day of the burial because he took a package of pictures that we took with my grandma the last time we were with her together and arranged them around the inside of her casket. He was determined that even if they wouldn't include us they would remember we were her family!

Like I said My mom is not the healthies person in the world. She has batled both Smoking and EDs all her life and had a brush with a lung cancer scare which took part of one of her lungs. She moved to Florida because the air off the ocean helps her alot better than the air in MO. She found out last month that she has COPD in her "good" lung and is now on so many meds, and has to take inhalers and steroids for it on occasion! she will be 60 this year and works the ER at Sacred Heart Hospital in Pensacola...she is what they call Environmental cleanup...which is all the yucky stuff left behind after an Emergency comes in. She loves her job and makes daily visits to the Cancer ward and the Peds ward to visit with patients and try to brighten their day...if this sounds like a b*tch that should have been banned from her mothers funeral then I must be crazy!

ONe of my aunts called Sunday night (after mom left) and said "what was your familys problem all weekend" I went off and in the end I told her that she could tell all the "sisters" (my uncle was great the whole weekend) that I expected a formal apology for all the things that were said and done to my family during the funeral. (my mom was second born so we should have been seated accordingly but instead we were told that the BACK PEW was reserved for our "branch" of the family") I told her that until I was apologized and an apology letter was mailed to my mom I would not consider any of them my family because family does not treat each other this way. Keep in mind Until this weekend I have gotten along with all these people...its only with my mom around that they have to show their asses and at a FUNERAL of all places they act like children!!!

SOOOO needless to say stress+anger+sadness=eating uncontrolably.....AKA a weight gain...I am back at 145 right now....I binged enough to go from 138 on Friday to 145 Wednesday!!! I will get back on track...today I had a cup of coffee *which is SOOO NOT AS GOOD AS MOMS COFFEE (and can I just say how awesome it was to simply sit on my porch swing with my mom and have a simple cup of awesome coffee...if your mom is close...hold on to that feeling for me ) * and a little debbie, 2 bottles of water so far. Doing good as far as stress today, I am babysitting but the 5 year old goes to summer school so its just me and the 2 year old who is napping at this moment......I was so bad yesterday and the day before that I ddin't even send my kids to school, I couldn't drag myself out of bed! Today is a new day though, I sent my kids back to school and I will work through this......OK sorry for the NOVEL and Thank you for letting me vent!!! If you read this all then Bless your heart and please tel me if I am irrational....

For the record the thing that makes them all hate my mom.......She had a baby at 16 out of wedlock......Heres the real kicker....the baby was a product of rape and they wanted her to abort or adopt out the baby and she chose to keep it...that baby is now my only sister. Even better! only 2 of my grandmothers children have the same father...the rest are products of a drunken night on the town.....but MY MOM IS THE BAD SEED!!!! give me a break!!
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Old 06-14-2006, 12:41 PM   #103  
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LeaLee~ X 100

I've got an appointment so I only have a minute to post. I read your post and HAD to respond! I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and your family troubles! I just wanted you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayer!
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Old 06-14-2006, 12:45 PM   #104  
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Oh, Sharon, I just wept when I read your post. I'm so very sorry you've had all this crap to deal with. Losing your grandmother is hard enough, sweetie.
I love that you stood up for your mom so valiantly. You are a heroine in my eyes. I can't believe your "family" would treat your mother so poorly. I wouldn't treat ANYONE that way. No one is deserving of that, least of all someone that you love and care about.
I wish I'd been there to give you and your mom a hug. And a "high-five" to you for your message to them. My gosh... first I was crying, and now I'm feeling enraged for your sake! You're not irrational at all. You made a very mature, human decision to lay your cards on the table.
I hope you can put this behind you and not allow it to cause you (too much) stress, because you've put your heart where you know it belongs, and that was the right thing to do.

Lucky, I can relate to the candy story. I remember doing the Fat and Fibre WW program a few years ago. I ate a lot of jelly beans because they had no fat, but DUH... a ton of calories!
I hope today goes well for you.

Jill, I love your honesty re: wanting to be thin. Good for you for saying what you feel! I'm sick of people telling me I should only lose weight for the sake of my health. I KNOW that's the most important thing, but damnit, I want to like how I look when I see myself in a mirror! I want to see the old me again. The girl who used to run everyday, moved easily, and looked great in a pair of jeans and a sweater.

Sassy, ditto! It would be lovely if everyone could see us for who we are beneath the fat. But most people don't. They're superficial, and unfortunately that bears a lot of weight for us. (no pun intended)
A friend of mine who was heavy all her life lost a lot of weight about 10 years ago. She looked great, and everyone complimented her. Her response was, "I'm still the same person, you know!" She was actually really irritated by the compliments. And while I understand that to an extent, I think a lot of us ARE different when we're heavy. I know I am. I'm self-conscious, am secretly irritated because I'm constantly thinking about dieting and exercising and the "thin girls in the restaurant at the table across from me", I puff when I climb stairs, I have fits of rage when I can't find anything in my closet that hides my fat, ...
I've been slim before, and I know that Ellis is not the Ellis that's sitting here right now. On her fat butt.

Where am I? Oh, the binging thread.
I'm eating some plain Doritos right now because I'm cranky and depressed, but I'm going to count them into my calories for the day.
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Old 06-14-2006, 12:46 PM   #105  
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Hi, Elizabeth!
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