Chicks in Control Overeating? Binging? Share uplifting support and gain control!

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Old 05-16-2006, 12:01 PM   #91  
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cryan313 Welcome to the thread I'm so sorry you are struggling, but it's great that you have decided to end your streak. Whatever you do, don't give up!! I can't tell you how many times I've had days straight of bingeing. But I've kept plugging along, and I now view having one day of not bingeing a serious victory. And you had two months!! Stop now so you can have another two months!! That's a tremendous accomplishment, and if you note, most of us have a **** of a hard time going binge-free for a week!!!

ellis I sent the potato flakes to their grave, and I do eat lots of vegetables and I'm thinking of trying mashed cauliflower instead of mashed potatoes when I get that stupid craving for them.

Okay, I have a lot of confessing to do for last week, but I'm not racking my brain to remember all of the food I wolfed down. But it was tragic. And I already moved on and got back on plan, so no need to revisit the horror.

I hope everyone got the week off to a good start!!! Keep those binge monkeys caged!! I had to call in the National Guard to capture that last one (they caught him on the Canadian border applying for a visa). But now he's safely back in his cage, and I put on heavy duty locks this time. And since he ate the last one, I put a new "Don't tempt the monkey" sign on his cage. BTW, his name is Jose and he's from Guatemala.
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Old 05-16-2006, 12:17 PM   #92  
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Hello everyone newbie here and this is the main reason I am here, bingeing. I used to do it a lot at 235 pounds. Then I decided to lose weight and I did low carb. I weighed 193 at my lowest, I went off plan, maintained and then my depression happened. I have been bingeing for weeks now. So last night after eating 4 slices of pizza for dinner with the family I got on the big comfy couch, watched hubby fall asleep in the chair and did what I always do. I ate 2 ice cream sandwiches, 1 slice of pizza and 4 Ho-Ho cupcakes with milk. I knew I wasn't hungry, I knew I was stuffing myself for nothing-YUCK! I hate waking up with a sore tummy. So today I am doing what I have been procrastinating. Facing the demons. So far so good.

Thanks for letting me share, I feel better. Now if I can excercise that would be great. I hope everyone is having a binge free day. My true test will be tonight.
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Old 05-16-2006, 08:50 PM   #93  
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Irishchic, Welcome to the thread!!! Confessing helps some of us, that's why we started this thread. It's good to get it all out. I hope you were strong today, and got some exercise in. I really try to exercise after I binge because I gain weight like crazy now.

I know I don't have children or a hubby, but have you tried not keeping ice cream sandwiches and ho hos in the house? I used to have a HUGE problem with ice cream sandwiches, so I simply stopped buying them. I used to eat 6 at a time. I have not literally bought a box of them in almost a year.

Good luck!!!
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Old 05-17-2006, 09:51 AM   #94  
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*everyone in the cyberbinger confessional turns as the door opens. Sharon enters, slouchy and depressed putting herself into the nearest waiting chair. Everyone turns away as they see every bit of progress she made is gone, 2 months of binging and no exericise later she has backslid to 142 pounds after making it to 132....Yes we now she is NOT fat but a bulemic is a bulemic whether she is 110 or 310. With a deep breath she speaks finally but in hushed tones to show how ashamed of herself she is...*

Yea I screwed up bad I took 2 months of progress and washed it down the toilet...literally.

It has been what prolly 2 months since i posted here.(if not it sure feels that way!) and in all (YES ALL) the time I have been gone I have done nothing but binge binge binge....NO exercise no purging just binging and not giving a d*mn what i put in my stomach (how does leftover taco bell for BREAKFAST sound...after having it at 12am the night before)...The breaking point was last night when I went to put on my swimsuit to see if it looked ok and it looked AWFUL when I bought it I was thinking "yes I can do a 2 piece this year I have less chub in my tummy" when i put it on i was shocked so i got on the scale and it said 142 I was like "OHHH **** NO" got off and back on again then did it again and went to the living room near tears and told hubby. He said to start exercising and stuff again (ummDUHHH Babe!!) So anyway we go to bed and we are snuggling and I just say "my stomach hurts SO bad" when he asks why I let him know for the first time that I had returned to my bulimic ways....I assured him I had not Purged since Jan. (yay for me) but that i had been binging to the point of illness for 2 months DAILY and doing minimal activities...I also let him know how far back my bulimia goes (for those who don't know....i was 8 the first time i binged)...he is supportive and i need that right now...

My thoughts on the reason i binged......everyone telling me i was "fine" you look "great" you are "soooo thin" things like that...then there is sister in law that looks down her nose at me because she can't lose weight...no wait not CANT she WONT lose weight...she tries all the fad diets and then even tried diet pills off Ebay and she complains "all you have to do is not eat as much and you drop weight like a rock" I always hold in my critisism of her and i DO NOT mention her FRIED porkchops Fried potatoes Mac and Cheese Corn and Pork Chop gravy meals (at 9pm i might add, yes she feeds her whole family this late) So anyway I think the reason for my binging is that everyone made me feel like I was succeeding...then there is her that makes me feel as if I am rubbing it in her face that i lost weight....too much pressure to keep up the good work...feeling I am making her feel worse...equals a bulimics night mare LOSS OF CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sick with my self and have recommitted TODAY with a jumpstart just like i did last time....1200 cal limit and WATER WATER WATER and workouts!! I had a small victory today already because I had planned to go all day with NO food and only water but said "no wait that is just the other extreme and will kick me into starvation mode (a term i learned at 3fc)" so I had ONE serving of bite size mini wheats and 1/2 cup milk and tried to drink coffee but the creamer in it made me think i was a failure SO no coffee today (headache here i come ) I am a caffiene addict as well so no coffee due to the high caloric creamer is gona be **** on earth for me....but i can do it.....

Now with this long post done and a BIG I'M SORRY to all the great friends i made here before (and turned away from) I say this....


I, Sharon, hereby recommit myself TODAY to my healthier lifestyle. I vow not to let people's comments affect me in anyway except as a compliment. I vow to feed my sister in law good advice each time she tries making me feel like I am "showing off". I vow to show my kids a healthier life. Most importantly, I vow to do this for ME, I am not doing this so that I will look good in public, I am not doing this for attention, I am doing this so that my bulimia stays buried in the back of my mind. From this day forward bulimia will be my PAST I will put it away just as I have any other bad memories from my past and never revisit that part of my mind again..........Signed Sharon Lea Lee (yep thats my middle and last names haha sucks too since they are pronounced the same)

Now i feel better I have been keeping up with all of you... and am very sorry for not offering support or encouragement...I feel awful and ashamed but this is a new day and you know what...the sun is shining in my little world for the first time in months.....

Ps sorry for the LOOOOOOOOOONG post but would you expect any less from me
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Old 05-17-2006, 10:02 AM   #95  
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AHHHHH!!!!! Sharon!!! I was wondering what happened to you, you totally disappeared on me. I even took you off my MSN buddy list I thought we lost you forever!! I kind of had a hunch you slipped back into bad habits (but a victory over purging is good). I know I don't feel like posting or talking to anyone when I having a rough time because of the shame/embarrassment.

It's so GREAT to see you again and I am SO happy you have decided to rejoin us and recommit to being healthy!!!

I'm sorry you had a rough past couple of months, but congratulations on putting a stop to it.

Please don't disappear on us again!!

AND

WELCOME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-17-2006, 10:09 AM   #96  
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I think I am fine right now Harpo..you were the one i worried about most...i saw you had replied and my heart sped up like crazy....I feel bad when i turn away from people.......

bad thing right now is i am reallllllly reallly wanting something sweet....no correction...i just want something in my hand to eat.

I have been so unbelievably bad....we are talking up to 4 packages of snack cakes a day...3-5 meals.....snacks soda chips EVERY DAY ( 2 bags of Munchos chips one day!). I just didn't care...the amount of water i have had in the last 2 months? lets put it this way...i have had 2 16 oz bottles today and that surpasses these last 2 months TOTAL....its awful and i feel so sick thinking about it...but i will get through it and go on with my life.....i just hate that i turned from everyone

And thanks for understanding and welcoming me back i appreciate it!
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Old 05-17-2006, 10:48 AM   #97  
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Sharon, we're so glad to have you back. I'm really sorry you've had a rough time, but it's good to see you putting it behind you and moving forward. You know we're always here for you, hon.
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Old 05-17-2006, 11:06 AM   #98  
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Don't worry Sharon, I just worried about you, I'm not upset or anything, but here's a pan in the head for making me worry:

I know what you mean, I'm fighting some mad chocolate cravings right now, and the stupid supermarket refuses to take the XL chocolate bars OFF SALE. They still have massive amounts of them left, nearly a whole aisle devoted to those stupid bars They've been getting me for the past MONTH.

I've been chewing gum like crazy and drinking my chocolate hazelnut tea (sweetened of course). It helps a bit, but my mind still won't let those XL bars go . . .

Hey, I've been b/p free for 2 days!! I know it isn't much, but I've done awful for the past few weeks. Well, actually, the past few months. I've pretty much stayed the same weight for 6 weeks. I used to be able to get away with the bingeing 50 pounds ago, but my body is totally unforgiving now. I GAIN weight, not water when I have a binge day. It doesn't come off as fast either. I've got to work tooth and nail to get every pound off now. GRRRRR. I wish it was as easy as it was when I began.
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Old 05-17-2006, 11:47 AM   #99  
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Thank you Ellis

And way to go Harpo!! 2 days is 2 more days than i have accomplished....and i totally deserve that pan to the head...and it made me laugh so thats a plus.

I just finished planning my lunch on FitDay and so far after lunch i will have had 790something calories so not to bad so far today....I avoided the urge to eat earlier with fixing my little girls hair...i rolled it last night practicing for her big night...she graduates PRESCHOOL tomorrow night I am SO very proud of her but oh boy do i not want her growing up!!!

She has started showing signs of worrying about her weight so me along with my neighbor (who knows all about my problem) have been realy working toward making her feel beautiful..My neighbors dad told ally (joking) "you need to go on a diet" not because she was chubby (because she isn't) but just because she was sitting in his lap. And my neighbor (who is 22 and also having a challenge keeping thin) jumped him saying "DO NOT SAY THAT TO HER" i was really happy to see that support....she is by no means chubby so i know that she is picking this up from me...she is 44 inches tall and weighs 45 pounds and is going to be 5 in 2 months...her brother who is a little over 6 is 45 inches and 44 pounds so she is bigger for her age group but by no means fat or chubby.

But anyway that urge to eat is gone since i fixed her hair (which is down to her lower back) and then i took shower.

*notes to self*
We are going to have home made Chicken soup for lunch and i am going to eat ONLY one serving of my Garlic Butter Ritz crackers with it...ONE that is IT only ONE SERVING (thats 5 crackers btw) I am drilling that thought into my head in case you can't tell Not sure about dinner yet Prolly go safe and have more soup till i can get some low cal foods back into the house..I WILL work out while she is at school and I will NOT snack until they get home from school..i will have a SMALL snack then and not eat again till we have dinner...I WILL NOT have a second dinner with hubby when he gets home at 7. and we will cry cry cry cry if Taylor Hicks gets kicked off Idol since i voted 45 times(literally) last night for him!!!!!!

I am trying a new approach here of like typing this to myself i guess...I tend to grab onto things you ladies say so maybe if i type it myself I will bring myself back to read it through the day and maybe maybe maybe hold true to my typed words.
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Old 05-17-2006, 04:50 PM   #100  
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Hey Sharon, it's 2 1/2 days now!! GO ME!!! Sorry, I'm proud.

Your potential problem with your daugter having an issue with her weight is something I fear terribly when I have children. I've been reading a lot lately about the genetic aspects of eating disorders and it's absolutely terrifying to me that I might pass on something to my children. And yes, one of my parents IS bulimic and has been for 35 years (and it isn't the one you would expect) and I did learn it from that parent. So we definitely have the genetic propensity toward EDs, and then I of course won't make it any better when my children see me obsessing about MY weight. It's an absolutely terrifying prospect. But at least you ARE aware of the potential danger and doing things to prevent it in your daughter. I'm going to teach my children to have a healthy attitude and relationship with food, something my parents NEVER taught me.

DROOLS . . . I love Ritz crackers . . . hmmm, but I'll just daydream about them. No need to rush out and go buy some, I'll consider myself lucky I don't like to binge on crackers. . .

Good day, everyone
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Old 05-17-2006, 05:32 PM   #101  
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Hey again... WAY TO GO ON 2.5% DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!

I did good with the crackers but then I went downhill slightly...I had a package of Zebra Cakes(d*mn Little Debbie)...then had 3 of the chocolates I got for mommys day...Not real bad but way over the 1200 I wanted. But I did talk to a friend of mine who sees a nutritionalist and she told me that I am aiming too low to begin with and that I should start wit 1800 limit and then go down 100 every 2 weeks. Tell me what you girls think about that....It makes since for me to not limit myself as much since limits are a trigger for me...

I went and did it...I added a link to my Fit Day to keep myslef more accountable *hopefully* I am now munching on WintoGreen Lifesavers (15 cal each) to curb MAJOR Binge urges right now.....I am going to get through this day!! then tomorrow i will do better...about to work out right now (as soon as my newly burned CD pops out) and then be a good girl the rest of the day and read a debbie macomber book.

GRRRR my sis in law just called and NOW wants me to babysit her daughter after cheerleading tryouts (not really babysit just watch her)...not a problem normally but they can let out "anytime now" and i have to be watching for her since she doen'st know to come over here ( I live right next door to the school so I will see her come out) BUT I can't very well watch for her FROM THE TREADMILL!!!! I am one that will not say no to family sooooo looks like the workout has to wait...unlesssss i can get my 6 year old to go out and play and watch for her....thats an idea....why can't this days challenges quit!!!

Anyway back to normal post...About my lil girl ....I am soooo scared that my children will have a problem with EDs I tell them anytime they start talking about weight that the reason i have problems is that when i was younger i was allowed to eat anything (and i mean anything) that i wanted no matter what time of day or night...this is the reason my weight is so hard to control my mind and what it tells me to eat and that gets them to stop asking about it...i tell them it is important to drink water and have more healthy snacks than bad snacks a day..I am doing my best at teaching them without pressuring them. Of course my son says "mom its YOUR brain jsut tell it what you want it to think..." I wish it was that easy!!

OK gotta figure out what to do here....Hubby doesn't get home till 7 so the work out CAN wait....Maybe i can squeeze in half of Denise Austins Shrink Your Female Fat Zones.....Yes thats what i will do i think....I do love that workout after all and i can do it and keep an eye out the front window as well......ok off to burn my binge urge off......
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Old 05-17-2006, 06:55 PM   #102  
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Yes, I have finally fessed to the doctor. I have been putting off seeing him. BUt my BP went way up yesterday ( in stroke zone) and I ended up in the ER and I had to go see him today. I broke down big time. I just told him I need help and I cannot do it on my own anymore. I am just a binger ( bad enough) though there are days that I have eaten so much that I do end up vomiting. He put me on an antidepressent. One that I have not taken before.It is suppose to be good for diabetics which I am. And it may help me lose a little weight. But how will that stop the binging. I finally told my husband , I had mentioned the binging before but he didn't really get it. Now that I told him that the doctor said bulemic he is freaked out. He is someone who wants to fix everything. And he cannot fix this, he feels guilty. He thinks he has caused this in someway. I have tried to tell him it has nothing to do with him. He asked when I eat all of this food. I told him the truth! I have gotten very very good at hiding it. Including hiding the wrappers and packages of the food I have eaten. This is going to be a long battle, but I have everyone here at 3FC. Everyone is wonderful. The Doc wants me in counseling. I have to find the money to pay the co-pays. Until then I will use all of you as a sounding board if that is OK? Thanks a bunch! I need to go let the others in my support thread what is going on! Thanks again.
LOL, Catherine
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Old 05-17-2006, 08:21 PM   #103  
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Hi Catherine I'm glad to see you again. I'm not sure how an anti-depressant works for bingeing, especially if you aren't depressed. I've heard of an anti-nausea drug that is intended for cancer patients on chemotherapy that helps curve the urge to purge (sorry didn't mean to rhyme there), but not anything that helps the binge urge. I think many doctors make the incorrect assumption that ED sufferers are also depressed. I know I'm not depressed. I'm happy 98% of the time and unless I'm in the deepest denial imaginable, I'm not depressed.

Yes, you are more than welcome to use this thread as a sounding board until you can get the proper help. It is exactly what I'm doing, since I haven't been able to take that first step to therapy.

Much luck and strength
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Old 05-17-2006, 09:30 PM   #104  
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Catherine, I think it's wonderful that you opened up to your doctor and your husband. That's such a huge step, and critical to your well-being.
Did your doctor put you on Wellbutrin? As well as an anti-depressant, it's used as an appetite suppressant and also to help people stop smoking. Sort an anti-obsessive behaviour thing.
I hope you find a good counseller, hon. We're certainly here for you for support, too.
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Old 05-17-2006, 09:30 PM   #105  
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Okay, I thought confessing my sins would whip my butt into shape and snap me out of this. Turns out I just got depressed and discouraged and I still haven't stopped binging. I've been eating foods I don't even enjoy...maybe to punish myself? I don't know, but I am at my wit's end. I sit here every night and swear that tomorrow is a new day, then wake up and spend all day thinking about what I can stuff down my throat next. The thing that's killing me is that I don't know what is triggering this. I haven't been under any stress. I just came back from a vacation, I don't return to work until Friday evening. No problems in life, I don't know why I'm doing this. It's driving me nuts. I am so angry with myself. I am reversing all the progress I have made. I've eaten enough calories in the past 10 days to gain at least 7 pounds of fat. SEVEN POUNDS IN 10 DAYS!!!!! And I haven't set foot near a scale, I'm scared to death. That's just the amount of calories over what my body usually burns. I've got to snap out of this. Thanks for listening, I think I'll be here often at least for a while to try to keep myself accountable, if it's okay...
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