Hi Tamdee -
I am so sorry to hear about your struggles. One of my best friends has been struggling with anorexia for the last 10 years. I personally, have some serious body image issues. I started taking laxatives (LOTS of laxatives). Then I started getting sick. I wouldn't make myself throw up, but whenever I ate, I'd become so disgusted with myself that I'd throw up anyway. The more depressed I became, the worse it got.
I finally got to the point where I didn't want to eat anything - ever. Thankfully, I have a very supportive husband and a couple of wonderful friends. My sister-in-law had been doing Atkins and was having great success with it. I decided to give it a try and have been amazed at my results.
I still struggle with my body image. I still look in the mirror and see someone who weighs 200 pounds or more. But I also don't spend so much time in front of that mirror. I go for walks, I spend time with the supportive people in my life who will continue to assure and encourage me. I practice pilates, which has given me focus and a feeling of inner peace that I'm unaccustomed to. Sex can still be an issue, but even that's getting better as I'm progressing and doing what I can to make peace with my body.
We all have to find the right path for ourselves. What's working for me may not be the right thing for you. But I'm happy to talk and listen if you like.