Question about disorders
I've never really had an eating disorder so I'm not sure if what I'm experiencing now is the beginnings of one or not.
About a week ago, I just got to the point -- after not being able to get back on my diet -- where I was completely disgusted with the way I look & the way I feel. Since then everytime I have eat... even the first bite of something, I get so disgusted with myself that I feel like I can't eat again. But, I'll continue to eat.. just a little, nothing like what I eat before. But by the time I get finished eating, I just feel utterly miserable.
I have two children & am fighting this as much as possible for THEIR sakes.. not mine. Is this the beginning of a disorder? It sure feels like one.
I know this is going to sound stupid, but when I was a teenager I was a mess as far as self image & confidence went. I had a nervous breakdown when I was a child due to the divorce of my parents. I used to do things to get "joint" attention from both of them. I used to try to make myself throw up but I couldn't because I KNEW it was wrong & it would hurt me. I couldn't even do the laxatives either even when I needed them for constipation. As stupid as this sounds I TRIED to have an eating disorder when I was younger but couldn't carry it through.
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