Hey Joselito, I completely understand where you are coming from and I probably could have written the exact same post. I have a very bad binge-eating disorder and have struggled with it for many years (I am in my early 20's as well). It is such a hard thing to overcome and I myself am currently struggling to do so. Even when I was losing weight regularly, the only reason I would lose is that I would starve myself at around 900-1000 calories (plus exercise) a day, and then binge on a couple thousands calories in one sitting on the weekend. In my mind, allowing myself to binge on the weekends was the only thing getting me through the weekdays of low-calorie eating.
I've found that binge eating for me is usually more severe when I am undergoing a lot of stress or feeling depressed. Is this the case for you? I have depression and anxiety, and the cycle of binge eating has just made it worse. Have you tried any type of therapy? I have just recently started therapy and I think it is helping.
You are definitely not alone and I feel your pain, trust me. Treating the psychological reason behind your binge eating is definitely the first step. I know it can be so hard to keep going, especially when you feel defeated, but try your hardest not to think too far into the future when it comes to eating. You will have to find what works for you, and once you get going and stay consistent for a little, it might start to get easier. It's the first steps that are always the hardest.
Feel free to private message me if you would like, I struggle with the same thing and I know how nice it is to have support, especially if you are like me and do not talk about it with your loved ones/friends.