Been on an 8 or 9 day bender. All the addictive behaviours, hiding my eating, going from store to store so they don't see how much I'm eating.
Had a good day Tuesday. Low cal and no trigger foods. Yesterday my day was okay although I ate (drank) way too much caffeine so I skipped the gym because last time it maxed my heart rate and gave me chest pain. Then instead of working out or doing homework I ate. I ate trigger foods and allergy foods and ended up on a full out binge (not what a dieter calls a binge a subjectively diagnosable binge). I hate that I seem to have moved beyond my somewhat smaller scale emotional eating into the other end of the eating disorder spectrum (from my former ED of anorexia). I told my pdoc about my behaviour on Tuesday and will talk to her again on Thursday next week.
Today I am fasting. I know that can lead to a binge, but it seems to work for me. I can eat normally. I can fast. Neither of these things leads to a binge. Emotions and eating that first bite of a trigger food, that does it.
Just got back from the gym and killed it with a 20 min run and about 2 hours legs, glutes and chin ups just because I like chin ups. And skipping when I wasn't too tired. Apparently burned over 900 cals, but my heart rate is slightly higher than normal so that would put my measure up.
Amethyst-- good job on the workout! Sorry to hear you have swung to the other extreme. I can relate.
I am currently looking for a new gp because my pdoc is retiring and referring all his patients to their gp rather than a new psychiatrist. I saw a new gp last week and liked him but have since come to the conclusion that I want a woman. So I am meeting with another on Thursday. She is my brother's dr and he really likes her so hopefully I will too.
Today I had bread which is a trigger food and I find myself eating frequently but small amounts so I think I am in control sort of.
Oh, on the OA topic, a friend of mine recently came 'out of the closet', so to speak, on food issues. She announced that she is starting Overeaters Anonymous on her Facebook page. I asked her about it some, she's found a meeting nearby that sounds good, there are a few atheists in the group and they went out for coffee afterwards so she got to know them a little better. I'd love to go with her, but it's at 10am M/W/F and I work. She's a student so can make it, but it doesn't work for my schedule.
Fluffy, good luck with the gp. It's sad that we have to take our mental health care anywhere/any way we can get it. I travel 2 1/2 hours each way to see my pdoc. She used to practice in my city when I started with her.
I am using my mindful eating app today (it cost 4.99 i think). I am also fasting so my total is very low 293. I have a killer headache that no water is fixing and I think I'm just working through the allergy food/sugar that I ate yesterday. I hope that works out quickly as sometimes it takes me a week or more to get over eating wheat.
Thanks Snark. My stomach hurts today (well abdomen), so I'm not eating until I feel a little better. It usually does not help me heal to stuff myself full of food so I will eat as lightly as possible while healing.
Hi everyone. Having a really stressful time. In brief, my aunt died, my dad is in the hospital and my dogs ate something they shouldn't have. I'm surprised that instead of wanting to binge I have lost my appetite. 665 cals.
Fluffy, I'm sorry to hear all the stress you are going through and of your loss. :hugs: Good job on not bingeing. Try to force yourself to eat tiny bits of healthy food even if you don't want to (like grab some grapes etc). Malnourishment does not help our emotional health.
Glad to hear the dogs are doing okay and that you are getting by. Keep going, you can get through this.
I have to say, I kind of let my emotional eating and addictive behaviours get me today. I was supposed to go out for dinner but got stood up so I went out anyway and ended up going shopping, eating and going to the movies (and eating popcorn). I think I stayed within my calories for my high/normal calorie day. Back to fasting tomorrow. We'll see what the scale says, probably some bloating from all the salt, regardless of the calories.
Oh my condolences on your Aunt, fluffypuppy and sending you strength to see you through the other stressful situations! Also sending your dad healing thoughts and strength! I'm so glad your dogs appear to be ok! <<<<<hugs>>>>>>>
Thanks Mrs. Snark. I feel like I have been living under threat since last April when one of my dogs was diagnosed with a herniated disc and the other with cancer. My dad's being sick makes me just feel like I'm going over the edge.
But I haven't binged in a week! And my weight was down to 144.8 this morning with 144 being my magic number as it was my previous low!
Way to go fluffy!
I had a great lunch for only 244 cals.
I made swiss chard with apples and raisins. I could have eaten the entire batch for under 400 cals I think. I also made a little swiss chard wrap while I was waiting with a little hummus and veggies. What's more amazing is I "don't like" swiss chard. lol It was in my box with some collard greens. I actually used both in the recipe. I saved a bit of both for wraps, but I actually like the collards better because I don't need to cook them first.
Slept in and didn't have breakfast because I was late for my gym date, but I made it to the gym for a back and tricep workout, jumped rope and ran a bit too for 544 cals I think.
Hi everyone, just checking in. I think I've been binge-free for nearly five weeks now, which feels like a record. It's funny, I don't have the urge to binge, but if I think about binging -- like buying a dozen donuts and eating them all -- I'm still like, "I could totally do that. I don't want to right now, but I easily could."
I cut back heavily on sugar last month, I'd been eating binging on it every day but last month my 'processed sugar' consumption was pretty limited. I had a tiny piece of cheesecake once, and a little sliver of coffee cake. Last Friday I had a half-size slice of birthday cake, we were celebrating a friend's birthday. I was worried it might set me off but it didn't.
I still don't feel like I'm in control enough to have ice cream or anything in the house, though.
I successfully fought off a binge tonight! I am starting (why just "starting" after all these years idk) to recognize the earlier warning signs and that is helping. I posted in my binge delaying thread and practiced oboe and piano and feel so much better now! The worries are starting to creep back in though. I may have another fight before the night is out.
